I can’t tell you how many times I had this conversation last week:
Me: So, what brings you to the hospital today:
Stupid Teenage Girl: I’m having this brown/green/yellow/white discharge from my privates.
Me: Are you sexually active?
STG: Uh-huh.
Me: How many partners?
STG: One.
Me: Do you use condoms?
STG: Uhhhh. . .
For Heaven’s Sake, people!! Not one of you acted surprised when I suggested that perhaps your boyfriend had more than one sexual partner, and that you needed to discuss this with him. Not one of you seemed concerned about getting pregnant, or catching a fatal disease. You were all very lucky in that your particular variety of stinky crotchrot could be cured by a shot of antibiotics and little common sense. But for the love of Pete, use your little brains and invest in a box of rubbers!! If you can’t afford them, the Health Department will give them to you for free!! And if your “boyfriend” won’t wear them, kick him to the curb and start looking for someone better. I do not want to see you back in here in six months with the same nasty funk, or with an unwanted pregnancy, or with some type of illness that turns out to be AIDS related. Start taking some responsibility for yourself and your health before you catch something that Lava soap won’t wash off!
i’m very sorry for your annoyance, i understand how you might feel this way. but now i have the most disgusting image in my head that won’t leave. yuck.
so true, but also not anyone’s point. i’m sorry if you are offended by the way i voice my disgust. my apologies. but let me just tell you a story.
i work at a med school; not the most desirable of jobs, but i like it. occasionally there are lectures about STDs. i, being the projectionist, sometimes have to attend these lectures. and some of these lectures just happen to have extremely disgusting pictures. and you know what those pictures make me want to do? they make me want to not have sex for the rest of my life because i’ve just seen the most mutated and screwed up genitals on the face of the planet.
my point is, disgust is a way to combat STDs, because it scares people into using protection. so i don’t think that anyone voicing their disgust in this thread is in any way inappropriate.
while Nightingale is on point with his/her take on the deal, reading “rubbers” and “kick him to the curb” (used seriously) in the same thread is making my head hurt.
Just curious, Flo—what would happen if you actually SAID to these Stupid Teenage Girls just what you posted above? They obviously need to hear it (in loud tones, with finger-shaking), but are you allowed to tell 'em this? Or would you get fired or sued or something?
[And would UncleBeer whack me upside the head if I noted what a great band name Stinky Crotchrot would make?]
Yeah, yeah, right. But have a nice, romantic candle-lit dinner, some nice mood music, and a partner that really smells kinda nice, and all that goes out of the average person’s head in 8.9 seconds. I’ve been dealing with funky discharges for 20 years now, and have treated some people over 6 times for conditions which would gag a goat, and done all the damn patient education I can freaking stand, and they still come back with a new, multi-color gooey drip. “Sigh”
And if ya can’t take funky green-brown creamy odiferous bodily fluids, what ya doin in the pit anyway?
It’s just another ride on the Crotch Funk Railroad…
I’m sure the staff at my university medical clinic saw a ton of STDs, but since we were a Catholic school they couldn’t recommend or supply condoms without getting fired.
Don’t worry,Eve, they all got the lecture. “You were lucky this time because we can treat what you have, but you need to take steps to make sure this doesn’t happen again. You need to have a serious talk with your partner about STDs, because he needs to be treated and so does anyone else he’s had sex with. And you need to use a condom every time you have sex, and use it correctly, because that is the only way to keep from catching another STD.” No finger-shaking, but none of these girls can say they didn’t know how to protect themselves after I finished talking with them.
And just for the record, I save my disgusted response for after hours. When I’m talking with the patient, all this is just part of a days work. Most of them feel awkward enough talking to a stranger about something so personal; no way am I going to add to their anxiety if I can help it.
For god’s sake people! I opened up this thread while I was eating, RICE PUDDING!!! And all this talk of funky-odered, multi-colored discharges is making me gag.