I think so. I also think tht women generally should keep their birth names, or that the two parties should coin a new name that they both use and pass on to any children.
Not that I’d insist on that. I knew a girl in college who was quite anxious to change her name when she got married, because she was pre-med, intending to become a surgeon, and thought it unwise to be “Dr. Denise Butcher.”
My mom tells the story of when she and dad married. He was a heavy equipment operator and would not wear a ring because, “People get hurt wearing rings”. She would not listen and pestered him continuously to wear his ring. He gave into her nagging and began wearing his ring. About a week later he came home with his finger splinted and a strip of skin had been ripped off of his finger when his ring snagged on something he was working with. He was lucky it was not worse. The ring went into mom’s jewelry box and it is still there today. Mom told me this story when I got my high school ring because I work around similar situations as dad. I’ve witnessed several injuries that happened because of rings. I saw a guy break his arm when he leaped off of a flatbed truck and his ring caught on a nail. I watched a guy get his finger ripped off when his ring caught on a limb he was putting in a leaf shredder.
I have never worn a ring. I am not used to wearing rings. I will not wear a ring. My wife understands.
My wedding ring stays on almost all the time – including sleeping and showering. I never wore jewelry but this is not simply jewelry, it’s a symbol.
The only times I’ve taken it off is when I needed to for safety, but in my life that’s pretty rare. A couple of times when I had surgical procedures and that’s about it.
When I got married I was broker than Bummy-muh-man on the corner, and couldn’t even afford anything decent for my wife, much less for me, but I bought what I could afford for her at the time. Once my career took off, I surprised my wife with a much better ring, but never bought one for myself.
The sad thing is my wife still wears the first ring, while the second one sits in a drawer year after year as a taunting reminder of how much interest its value is not earning me.
I wear mine with my dog tags around my neck. I used to wear it, but I almost lost it once (I have to take it off while flying) and I decided that it would be better kept on the chain.
Sure. But never wearing a ring at all is a different thing than taking it off for out-of-town trips.
My job requires travel from time to time, and I’m always accompanied by members of my team, the majority of whom are married. I can think of two or three who take off their rings as soon as they get to the airport, and those are always the ones who want to, say, hit the strip bars or nightclubs or whatever whenever time allows.
Exactly. And why should you be expected to take your husband’s name when you’ve already got a perfectly good one from your father?
I understand your feelings, but it’s a compliment that your wife values the first ring above all others - THAT one had far more value in that it took all you could afford to give it to her, it’s full of love and symbolism. The other ring I am sure is much nicer in terms of quality and craftsmanship, but she loves what you gave her when you gave her all you’d got!
My husband wears a ring - wanted one, even, which surprised me because he’s a stoic typical silent Japanese guy. (Though the trend is more and more for men to wear wedding rings here.) He wanted platinum, as that’s the typical wedding ring material here. I wanted gold as that felt more right to me as a Brit, so we have what we each wanted, and the style is the same, a plain 2mm band.
Actually I went to England for the summer with the kids a couple of years ago and about ten days after I got back, my husband said mournfully, “You didn’t notice.” “Notice what??” I asked. He held up his hand to show me no ring. He’d put it in to the jewellers to get it resized and was sure it would be the first thing I’d spot as I got off the plane. Ooops. I think he felt a bit unloved! But I’m just unobservant, not unloving.
The posts being satirized were about first names not last names. I’m not Mrs. John Doe. My name is not John. I might be Mrs. Jane Doe, or Mrs. Jane Smith-Doe, or Ms. Jane Smith, but whatever I did with my last name, I did not take my husband’s first name in marriage.
Married 41 years. Haven’t worn a ring since the ceremony. Too damn dangerous when working with any type of machinery or tools.
Other than being dead… 
And then she fell helplessly in love with Francois De’ath? 
(Total hijack anecdote: My dad, who grew up in a small country town, swears and avows that the “Hackett” family owned several of the local stores, leading to them being “Hackett & Hackett the Barbers”, “Hackett the Butcher”, and a daughter making clothes as “Miss Hackett, the Seamstress”).
As to the OP’s ring question: I have a large, chunky wedding ring – had it handcrafted for me – and while I often do not wear it around the house I always make a point of putting it on before going out; to work, or shopping, or wherever. I do however wear it on my right hand – along with my watch – I found that being a lefty having either or both of those on my left hand / wrist led to them getting in the way / getting caught on things.
Ditto. I routinely plunge my hand into the innards of various machinery in the lab at work. Rings are strongly discouraged.
Nice try sweetheart, but it’s not about whether or not it’s a man’s name. It’s about the fact that it’s MY name, the one I’ve had all my life. Changing it means I’m changing my identity, and I don’t see why that should ever be required of only one participant in a partnership.
Missed the edit window… I have no problem with anyone choosing to change their name, but I certainly don’t understand why there’s an expectation of it, let alone people acting as though it’s somehow *silly *to be unwilling to define yourself as your husband’s wife. I certainly wouldn’t expect my husband to take my name when he has a perfectly good one of his own. And if it’s really about defining ourselves as a family, why not choose a new name together?
The post I responded to was about the last name. I agree that being called “Mrs John Smith” is stupid. I also agree that a woman should be able to take whatever name they choose, which they can of course.
Well it’s only YOUR name because your mother took your father’s name.
Um, no. My mother kept her maiden name, so our last names are different. I’ll keep my name because it’s the name I’m born with and, 25 odd years into things I’m not going to up and switch it. The notion is absurd. However, children having the same name as their father is a generally good idea, as it usually demonstrates the parents were or are married. Hyphenation is good in theory and never great in practice. Everyone I know with a hyphenated name - born with it, not chosen for themselves - just drops half, usually their mother’s.
No, it’s MY name because it was given to me when I was born. It’s original equipment. On my mother it’s aftermarket. She chose to change it, but she could very well have chosen to keep the name SHE was given when SHE was born.
Mr. S has always proudly worn his wedding ring, after too many years of miserable bachelorhood. Lately he started wearing it on his right ring finger, because he has some sort of bony protrusion on his left middle finger that makes wearing the ring on the adjacent finger painful/bothersome.
And that matters why, exactly? What does it matter if it’s because she took Dad’s name, or he took hers, or the neighbor’s dog or a burning bush told her what to name me? Whatever the reason, the fact still remains that this is my name, and this has been my name ever since I drew my first breath. If I had a penis, nobody would think anything of me being attached to it, but because I have a vagina instead, some people act like it’s stupid and unreasonable for me to be attached to it.
And that’s just straight-up bullshit.
Scarlett67 (and anyone else) do you know of any men who wear their wedding rings on their right hand besides your hubby? I’ve seen a handful of men who describe themselves as married wearing a band on their right hand. They can’t all have a problem w/ their left hands.
Why would you think I was talking about you if what I said doesn’t apply to you and wasn’t directed at you? I don’t even know if it applies to DianaG but it would certainly apply to a large number of people who want to keep their given surname.
Anyway I don’t care what name people take and I agree it’s stupid for other people to care. The point I was making is aimed more at those who do it for feminist reasons rather than just out of a sense of identity (as DianaG rightfully noted.) I don’t even think there’s any point to getting married at all. I got married because my wife is more of a traditionalist and it was important to her (she was also free to do what she liked with her name.) To me it’s just the same as being in any committed relationship. Buying a house and having kids, THOSE were signs of serious commitment, not signing a bit of paper and taking a holiday.