Well kids. I did something beyond the call of stupidity this morning and think its funny enough to have you guys hear about it
Apparently, when I consume alcohol, I sleep like the dead. And in being dead, I don’t move. Which means, if I slept on something like my hand for a good 9 hours, I would wake up with a non-fuctioning hand. Sunday became such a day as I woke up with, surprise, not just a dead hand, but a entire dead arm.
A truly wierd feeling because I sat up groggily and looked at my hand and tried to move it, yet nothing responded. I touched it and could not feel it, save for a icy feeling as my nerves slowly came back to life. I decided to try to hasten it by shaking it with my other arm.
So I am now shaking it furiously but it is real slow to wake up. Now in my state of still groggyness, I suddenly release my hand.
My timing was too perfect to be anything but a big joke. For as I released I came back for a generous pull from my arm and have how released a fairly well muscled arm and hand in the direction of my face. In fact, straight into my face.
My hand flew like a side of beef and open-palm “thwoped” me so hard in the cheek, I fell back and banged my head against the headboard hard. These two huge sounds wakes my girlfriend who turns to see her naked boyfriend with a right smart red handprint on his cheek, cursing a blue streak as he dangles a useless arm on one side and tries madly to rub two hurt spots at one with the living arm.
I still have a nice smart print though its fading a a good lump on my head. My girlfriend, on the other hand, had a field day with this, cracking up everytime she pass me in the house today. I expect more of the same for a good 2-3 days henceforth.
So, hope you enjoyed that. This may be the stupidiest thing I ever did. In fact, I would be cracking up if it happened to anyone else but myself.