For your enjoyment...Stupidity! by HD

Well kids. I did something beyond the call of stupidity this morning and think its funny enough to have you guys hear about it

Apparently, when I consume alcohol, I sleep like the dead. And in being dead, I don’t move. Which means, if I slept on something like my hand for a good 9 hours, I would wake up with a non-fuctioning hand. Sunday became such a day as I woke up with, surprise, not just a dead hand, but a entire dead arm.
A truly wierd feeling because I sat up groggily and looked at my hand and tried to move it, yet nothing responded. I touched it and could not feel it, save for a icy feeling as my nerves slowly came back to life. I decided to try to hasten it by shaking it with my other arm.
So I am now shaking it furiously but it is real slow to wake up. Now in my state of still groggyness, I suddenly release my hand.
My timing was too perfect to be anything but a big joke. For as I released I came back for a generous pull from my arm and have how released a fairly well muscled arm and hand in the direction of my face. In fact, straight into my face.
My hand flew like a side of beef and open-palm “thwoped” me so hard in the cheek, I fell back and banged my head against the headboard hard. These two huge sounds wakes my girlfriend who turns to see her naked boyfriend with a right smart red handprint on his cheek, cursing a blue streak as he dangles a useless arm on one side and tries madly to rub two hurt spots at one with the living arm.
I still have a nice smart print though its fading a a good lump on my head. My girlfriend, on the other hand, had a field day with this, cracking up everytime she pass me in the house today. I expect more of the same for a good 2-3 days henceforth.

So, hope you enjoyed that. This may be the stupidiest thing I ever did. In fact, I would be cracking up if it happened to anyone else but myself. :slight_smile:


Thanks, Heath!! Thanks for the best laugh I had today! That sounds exactly like something that would happen to me! :stuck_out_tongue:

Saturday morning I woke up exactly like that LOL
My arm was totally numb - so I too grabbed it with my left hand and started shaking it like mad. Only that I didnt hurt myself ROTFL

You know… violence is not a solution… :smiley:


Always look on the bright side of life. (You just have to imagine the tune, sorry.) Well, at least even if you feel so stupid you should smack yourself on the head, you have already done that.

Oh, and I bet you get reminded of it for more than 2 or 3 days.:slight_smile:

Well, I’ve been waiting for a chance to share this story, now seems a good a time as any.

I sleep on my stomach for the most part, and as I was doing so one night I must’ve curled my arms up underneath me, as I awoke the next morning to what most doctors refer to as “Bi-mortis Armerdidi”. I couldn’t move. I was completely trapped there with my two “dead-arms” pinned beneath me. And the longer I lay there, the deader they were becoming. So, I did what any reasonable young man would do in a situation like this. I screamed like a 5 year old girl for my sister to come help me.

Hell hath no fury like a sibling wanting retribution for crimes gone unpunished. Maybe it was the whole BLT thing ((whole other story, ask me sometime)), or the fact that she just saw an oppurtunity to exact her revenge, but she did roll me over at least, for which I’m thankful. Then she proceeded to sit on my chest ((she’s not a little girl)) and smack me in the face with my own two arms. She cackled with glee as I screamed obscenities at her, and left me with just about 20 seconds left until I regained feeling. Just enough time for her to get in her car and go to school. Arrggghhh. I got my revenge tho’.

Anyway, thanks for the story Heath, and if no one has said so before, ((which I’m sure they have)), welcome to the SDMB. :smiley: