Mr Rodgers
Threat of making out on National TV with Rosie O’Donnell. (Worse, 'cause you’d have to endure it for the rest of your natural life).
Chuck Norris (at least you know your licks are coming)
The Tangle (destroys reality retroactively back to creation)
Dalek Reality Bomb (destroys reality itself)
The Deplorable End - press the button, a new Big Bang destroys the universe
Core Implosion Device - galaxy physically destroyed
Suicide Night - every sentient creature ( outside of bandersnatchi ) in the galaxy dies
Gridfire
Stellar detonation weapons - the Sun Crusher and so on
Planetary Disruption (Death Star, the Lexx, etc…)
Orbital Nuking (the only way to be sure)
Batman (prepared)
Batman (didn’t see it coming)
Lazy Gun
ICBM bombardment
High Mark Bolo
SLBM bombardment
Low Mark Bolo
Apocolypse Troll “blaster” - a handgun with kilotons-per-second firepower
Conventional airstrikes
Manticoran Marines in powered armor
Knife missile
Heavy Ground Assault
Tribarrel
Phased plasma rifle in the 40-watt range
Star Trek phasers
That trick Bug Bunny does where he puts his finger in the end of the gun barrel
Conventional Firearms (automatic)
Conventional Firearms (Semiauto)
Conventional Firearms (Manual Action, revolver, bolt/lever action)
Conventional Firearms (Single-Shot)
Conventional Firearms (Black Powder)
Trebuchet
Archery (Compound bows/crossbows)
Archery (Recurve)
Archery (longbow)
Boiling oil
The Pen That Is Mightier Than The Sword - naturally has to go above blades
Blades (swords/knives)
Enduring a three-hour standup routine by Fran Drescher and Gilbert Godfried (Why? Because their voices cut like a knife, but wound much, much deeper)
Melee weapons (Staffs/Nunchukau/Tonfas/Clubs/other blunt-force trauma weapons)
Kung Fu
Boards With Nails In Them
Pointed Sticks
Rocks
Indian burns
Can of RAID
Fresh Fruit
Cow bite
A Hawaiian Punch
Harsh Language
A stern talking to
The Look
[del]UN resolution[/del] (moved below)
Soft Language
Handshake
UN Resolution
Hug
Tripler
I wasn’t sure where to put in US Airstrike. I leave that for debate.