"Foreigners talk funny."

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

"Foreigners talk funny."

Growing up near the Mexican border, I have found that when someone says “Foreigners talk funny,” that I am almost always dealing with a maroon of some sort.

It’s true, foreigners do talk funny. The ones who do speak my language have an odd accent, often very engaging. The ones who don’t normally speak my language are trying like hell to communicate with me in one of the most difficult, nonsensical languages human beings have ever come up with. Sure, there’s plenty of room for malaprops, mispronunciations, and lots of other low comedy.

I have decided to investigate this phenomenon. This paragraph, for example, I am now typing in my native language (English), in my usual style. It’s important not to alter style, idiom, or much of anything else, for reasons that will soon become clear. The idea is to take it to an internet translating service – a link to Babelfish is provided below – heave the whole thing in, pick another language, hit PUREE, and see what comes up. Gee, I can’t tell what it says. It’s in some language I don’t know. So, I’ll cut and paste it back into the window, and translate it back into English. I wonder what will fall out…?

Babelfish can be found here.

…and now, the translation of the paragraph. English–>Chinese–>English:

我決定調查這種現象。這段, 例如, 我現在輸入我的母語(英語), 在我的通常樣式。It’s 重要不修改樣式, 成語, 或別的, 為很快將變得清楚的原因。想法是採取它對網際網路翻譯服務-- Babelfish 的一個鏈接下面被提供-- 拉整件事, 採摘其它語言, 擊中了純汁濃湯, 和看見什麼過來。Gee, I can’t 告訴什麼它認為。It’s 用某一語言I don’t 知道。如此, I’ll 剪貼它回到窗口, 和翻譯它回到英語。我想知道在什麼之外將下跌… 。?

Whoopsie. Didn’t come out quite right. A moment…

I decided investigates this kind of phenomenon. This section, for example, I now input my mother tongue (English), in mine usual style. It’ S is important does not revise the style, the idiom, or other, for very quick will change the clear reason. The idea is adopts it to provide to an Internet translation service – Babelfish link under – pulls 整件 the matter, picks other languages, has hit the pure juice thick soup, with sees any to come. Gee, I can’ T tells any it to think. It’ S uses some language I don’ T knew. So, I’ Ll lays it to return to the window, with translates it to return to English. I will want to know will fall outside any… ?

Hee, hee. It’s true. Foreigners do talk funny. Especially when I’m the foreigner!

2

The poop has hit the fan. Beware of Greeks bearing gifts. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. When the President does it, then it is not illegal. Busier than a one-legged man at an asskicking contest.

English–>Russian–>English…

Фекалии ударяли вентилятор. Beware греков нося подарки. Населите в реальном маштабе времени в ходе домов shouldn’t стекла облицовывает. Птица в руке worth 2 в кустике. Когда президент делает его, после этого не противозаконо. Многодельно чем one-legged человек на asskicking состязании.

(or…)

Feces struck fan. Beware Greeks bearing gifts. You will populate in real mashtabe of time in the course of houses shouldn’.t of glass it covers. Bird in hand worth 2 in the bush. When the President makes him, after this not protivozakono. Is busy than one-legged man on asskicking contest.

Hm. You know, this may well explain something about Russian politics. And is it totally obvious who’s bored at work, yet?

3

First, I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. No single space project in this period will be more impressive to mankind, or more important for the long-range exploration of space; and none will be so difficult or expensive to accomplish. We propose to accelerate the development of the appropriate lunar space craft. We propose to develop alternate liquid and solid fuel boosters, much larger than any now being developed, until certain which is superior. We propose additional funds for other engine development and for unmanned explorations–explorations which are particularly important for one purpose which this nation will never overlook: the survival of the man who first makes this daring flight. But in a very real sense, it will not be one man going to the moon–if we make this judgment affirmatively, it will be an entire nation. For all of us must work to put him there.

J F Kennedy May 25, 1961

  • translated to Dutch and back to English - and must be read with Kennedy / Mayor Quimby accent

Firstly, I believe that this nation to reaching the aim would have commit, by this decade from are, of landing people on the maan and safely returning him to the ground. No some space project during this period to humanity more impressively, or more important are for lange-afstands the exploration of space; and nothing will be this way difficult or expensive realise. We put for to accelerate space craft industry the development of the suitable maan. We put for to develop alternating liquid and fixed fuel-tension-far-higher, much larger than now develop, until stipulated which are superior. We state extra funds for other engine development and for unmanned explorations for – explorations which are for one aim particularly important that this nation will overlook never: the overleving of the man who these daring escapes firstly makes. But in a very real meaning, it not one people who go to the maan will be – if we this judgement confirming make, it a complete nation will be. Because we must work all to put him there.

"…landing people on the maan and safely returning him to the ground. "

Kinda makes you wonder what Kennedy was really talking about :smiley:

4

The Gettysburg Address, from English to Spanish to English (That ought to be easy)…

_ fourscore and seven year makes our father bring ahead on this
continent one new nation, conceive in freedom and dedicate subject
that all man to create equal.

_ _ now we to be to contract to one great civilian war, to prove if
that nation, or any nation so to conceive and so to dedicate, to be
able of length to hold _ we to be to satisfy in one great battlefield
that war _ we to be to satisfy to dedicate to one portion he like end
to recline place that to give to its life that that nation to be able
to live _ appropriate and altogether appropriate he who we to have to
do this.

_ _ but in one great sense, we to be able not to dedicate, we to be
able not consecrate, we to be able not to sanctify this earth _ brave
man, life and dead, that to fight here, to have consecrated he far on
our poor power to add or to detraer.

_ _ of the world will little note, nor of length to remember, what we
to say here, but he to never be able to forget what to do _ here he
est for us, life, something, to be to dedicate to unfinished work here
that to have until the so noble moment to continue _ here he est
something us to be to before dedicate to great remaining task we, of
which this to honor dead we to take to increase to dedication to that
cause so that to give its complete past measured dedication; _ that we
here high to solve that this dead not to have to die in useless; _
that nation, under God, to have one new birth freedom, and that
government people, by people, for people, not to pass away earth _

5

The first two verses of The Beatles’ “Come Together”, from English to Russian and back again:

Here come old flat-top
it they come kalibruyushch upward slowly
of it obtained eyeball joo joo
its one holiest roller it
it obtained up to hair to its elbow
they obtained that was joker it exactly makes it if you please

it it bears none shoeshine,
is which it was obtained the football of the jam of the finger of leg it
it obtained the finger of monkey it
it is removed spinner -.Kolu it it tells
“I it knows you, you knows me,
one thing I can say you you they obtained that they were free”
About together right now above me.

  • John Lennon (Lenin?)
6

Since some of our President’s statements are all Greek to me, here’s a sampling of Bushisms, from English to Greek to English. I leave you to decide which is the original line, and which is the Babelfished.

  1. (a) Recession means that people’s incomes, at the employer level, are going down, basically, relative to costs, people are getting laid off. —Washington, D.C., Feb. 19, 2004

(b) The reprocess means that the incomes people’s, to the level of employers, go under, basically, with regard to the expenses, the persons take stopped. - Washington, 19 the Fevr. …2004
2. (a) I glance at the headlines just to kind of get a flavor for what’s moving. I rarely read the stories, and get briefed by people who are probably read the news themselves."—Washington, D.C., Sept. 21, 2003

(b) I look at the titles precisely in the type I take a flavour for the movement what’s. I seldom read the histories, and I take informed from the persons that are read probably the news the himself. - Washington, 21 September…2003
3. (a) There’s an old saying in Tennessee—I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says, fool me once, shame on—shame on you. Fool me—you can’t get fooled again. —Nashville, Tenn., Sept. 17, 2002

(b) There’s a old maxim in the Tennessee-I knows it’s in Texas, probably seayto’ says, foolish i a time, -NTROPI’ shame in you. The fool that eme’na - can’t you take again. - Nashville, Tenn., 17 September…2002
4. (a) One of the interesting initiatives we’ve taken in Washington, D.C., is we’ve got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a—a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone."—Denver, Aug. 14, 2001

(b) One of the interesting initiatives we’ve that are received in Washington, they are we’ve that is acquired these vampires - busting appliances. A vampire is negotiation of cells AA that you can connect in the wall in order to you debit your telephone of cells. - Denver, 14 August…2001