So here we are. Some people think 420 posts is a good excuse to throw a party. Some people think 1000. You know what? FUCK THEM. I have reached the most significant number possible. 666 posts. Yes, that is right, my mission is now accomplished. I can retire from the board happy. To celbrate I’m throwing a party. All the debauchery you could posssibley think of. And even some you can’t and really don’t want to.
We’ve got drugs, we’ve got sex, we’ve got underage goat strippers. So everyone come on in. let your hair down, or even shave it all off, and enjoy.
oldscratch
Member
Registered: Mar 2000
Posts: 665 07-17-2000 03:39
Not quite, bucko.
Hey I needed to give everyone time to get prepared and get ready. If I showed up on time there wouldn’t be anyone to set up or get the Capyberras in the leather thongs.
oldscratch
Member
Registered: Mar 2000
Posts: 667
[Bob Eucker]
Juuuuuust a bit outside!
[/Bob Eucker]
Dude, this party is WAAAAAY better than that lame one of Demo’s down the street! He keeps kicking us out and saying there’s no party! :rolleyes:
:busts out a pentagram:
OK, now I am going to have ‘Shout at the Devil’ stuck in my head all day long.
Hey. You, yeah you, the cynical bastard in the back. Stop whining and start getting in the Jello. There’s a match between you and your choice of a moderater in 5 minutes. And hey If 666 is evil 667 is just evil plus one. So shut up.
Well, that’s quite a coincidence. I seem to have a spare, unused piñata for just such an occasion. Oh, sure, it’s not an evil piñata, but we can draw spooky stuff on it, right?
.
.
.
.
Hm. This isn’t working. I don’t think piñatas can ever be turned to the dark side.
Oh, well. Let’s beat the crap out of it anyway! Here ya go, oldscratch. One stylish black blindfold, one spiky black stick that may or may not summon demons, and a bottle of my finest fermented virgin blood (choice for this occasion). Have at it, man. The spooky piñata is over there, right next to Mr. Cynical. Swing away! He probably has insurance.
:: Falling out of remains of evil pinata with glowing, red eyes, horns and a tail ::
What did you say about my party???
Buwahahahahaha!!!
Aahh!! Cut it out, man. You’re givin’ me the willies!
Oh, never mind. It’s just a harmless case of the heebee jeebees.
You know that’s funny. I guess you’ve never seen the Jesse Helms or Brittany Spears pinatas. If any pinata had a chance of being evil it’s those.
oldscratch, I’ve brought you a housewarming gift. It’s a chia pet in the shape of Nirriti, Hindu goddess of corruption, destruction, disease, decay, evil, misery.
It will go well with your green couch. (Green couch? Good lord!) Let the debauchery begin. I’ll unloosen my tie and open my top shirt button.
I brought the fat-free olestra chips too. If that isn’t evil enough, let me know, I’ve got other tricks up my sleeve.
Hey we don’t need Olestra to experience anal leakage. But, thansk for the thought anyway Arnold.
And that chia pet is really really… nice.
Thanks
And what, may I ask, is the matter with a green couch??? Arnie, ya better think of something good. I love my green couches!!!
Inspired by some of the posts here, and the fact I can’t get “The Thong Song” out of my head (no doubt it wasnt helped when I read of Old dressing Capybarras in leather thongs :))…
Ooo that OldScratch’s so scandalous
And I know another poster couldn’t handle it
See him shakin’ that thang like who’s the ish
With a look in his eyes so devilish
Uh, he like to dance at all the hip hop spots
Then he cruise through the crews like connect da dots
Not just urban, he likes the pop cause
He was livin’ la vida loca
Capybarra had dumps like a truck, truck
Poster’s like what?! what?!, what?!
Capybarra move your butt, butt, butt
Let me sing it again…
All night long, let me see that thong…
All I can say is, I weep for the future and our children. Anyone with the smallest sense of interior decoration knows that the only colours for a couch are white or pink. Do you at least have ruffles at the bottom or a doily on the back?
congrats, oldscratch, ol buddy, glad to see ya! Now hold on, this won’t hurt* a bit. <Sprinkles him with hw from aspergil, pulls out book> “in Nomine Patri, et Fili, et spiritu Sancti…”. Hey, quit that wiggeling! What IS that burning smell?!? 
*me
Damn. I’ve been planning an exorcism party for my 666th post for ages and now someone’s beaten me to it.
DAMNATION!!! I’d tell you to go to hell but…
Oh and before I forget my manners: here’s my present. A lovely Shiva the Destroyer action figure. Accesories and batteries not included of course (which just goes to show toy manafacturers are way more evil than mere demons).
I just cracked up. I have this image of 30 capyberras, wearing leather thongs, doing a conga line up and down market street. Goddamn, thanks doobie.
As for you daniel, thanks for the holy water, it does kinda itch, but nothing some Chamomyl lotion won’t cure. It feels sorta like having poison oak.
Now settle down, go grab yourself a shaved llama, and get busy.
oldscratch said:
Stripping underage goats…and passing off the parts as new, no doubt. Man, you’re just plain evil.