Here it is. Post number 666. Come one, come all to the Black Mass. With any luck we can get Satan back onto the board. You guys start chanting. I gotta go find us a virgin.
Just stand under the Trinity Bell Tower and wait for it to ring… 
Um, because I wuv you I’ll break my no post party rule and say “Congrats”, but I’m saying it in a very grudging voice and my heart just isn’t in it.
woo-hoo! evil! evil! evil!
don’t know about finding a virgin on these boards…
Actually tater, I didn’t envision this as a post count party. Just a thread for evil purposes inspired by my count number. I want for nothing in the way of congratulations. Thanks anyway.
Ogre shuffles in, face hidden by a heavy, black hood
Skulls dangle from his hempen belt. The odor of freshly rendered baby fat wafts from his clothing.
He raises his face and arms to the Scapegoat on the west wall.
“Om Mani Padmi Ommmmmmm!”
Wait, dammit, that’s not right.
OK, OK, I got it.
“Ia! Cthulhu fthagn! Ia! Ia!”
No, that’s not it either.
He rests his chin in one bloody hand. He shifts restlessly, trips over his robe, stumbles, and rights himself. A giggle (menacing, of course, as befits the atmosphere) is heard from the depths of the hood.
Hold on, now, I’m trying to do this with a straight face.
“I luv you! You luv me! We’re a something something family!”
Satanic enough?
Ogre falls on the floor in fits of laughter.
But I’ve retired from the Evil business! Waaaaah! You did this on purpose, you mean Trion, you! You knew I was going to be retiring and you waited to post your 666 post after I did it! Bad Trion! No Original Danish Breakfast Meat for you!
YIKES! That’s a little too evil.
From Twisty
That may be where my plan falls apart. I might need some help from someone with evil experience. Hey tater…
(nobody really retires from the evil business)
Sorry, no can do, my new business is exporting Original Danish Breakfast meat to Ireland and Canada, no more time for evil.
Plus, this is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, Age of Aquarious, AQUARIUS! And I’m letting the sun shine in, letting the sun shine in, the SUN shine in!
Age of Aquarius!! I’m putting on a pair of platforms with goldfish in the soles!!
And if you want to be truely evil, stick some piranhas in there too.
Then you’ll have that suave crimson hue thing going on. Tres chic.
damn… too late… before the summer I could have participated as black mess virgin… but actually I dont really like being killed… so. never mind…
dodgy
Evil eh? hmmmm… what can I do to bring this party to a more evil plane?
ah!
Oldscratch presents…the illegitimete love child of AL Sharpton and Katherine Harris
If that isn’t evil, I don’t know what is.
timidly I’m a virgin. Is that a good thing?
I wish I could attend all the parties on this board, but there’s just so many that unfortunately, I have to pick and choose.
This one just seemed too good to resist. Heh.
I keep a herd of small goats in my basement, just for occasions such as this. I’ve brought one along. Here ya go!
Oh, and Zoggie? I wouldn’t admit to being a virgin around here. Not only are you a prime candidate for sacrifice, you’re also a prime candidate for endless rounds of “hey Zoggie, how YOU doin’?” from the fine gentlemen of the SDMB. If I were you, I’d seriously consider being sacrificed.
Trion, I am also not a post party maven, but for you, in honor of your evil thread title and intentions, I’ll start drawing symbols in the dirt with chicken blood.
Ok, I think I have the correct chant
a one, and a two, and a…
Why, yes Zoggie. It is a wonderful thing. Just lie here a moment.
And now my minions - Poke her with the soft cushions!
Thank you for the goat Persephone. Now we need a volunteer to deflower the goat.
adsoul - that chant sounds great. Where did you get it?
I thought I’d just poke my head and tell y’all that even though I’ve joined the Righteous and Meek, I’ll still remember you fondly. Even when I’m up in Heaven with John Denver and Baltimora and you are burning in the eternal lake of fire. I hate the sin, but love the sinner.
Now I will go and quietly picket this thread.
Coldie! You’re wanted here! Don’t forget the straws! 
d & r
P.S. Way to go, Trion.
Damn. I thought this was going to be a “how will you celebrate Christmas this year?” thread. Oh well, I’m putting the cookbooks away.