But just think how much better our tans are gonna be! Woohoo!
Oh Trion, about that goat-deflowering thing. You probably shouldn’t do that with, well, with this particular goat. See, I brought this goat along because he’s, well, he’s participated in this sort of fest before, and, well, he really digs them.
But if you really want a virgin goat, I can get you one. I’ve got a few left. I hope.
God does not approve of tans, that’s why he gave us sunscreen. Freckles are Satan’s dirty kisses!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take down my site and put up a testimonial to my conversion to the R & M complete with stirring midis of popular hymns and graphics of praying hands.
And for the love of Our Father please stop abusing that goat! Sacrifices are sooo Old Testament.
BWAAAHAHA!! tatey, please, I beg you, may I use this as my sig? I love it! 
Not if you’re going to use it on your Heathen Posts you can’t!
I think I’ve found a new outlet for my boredom!
I’m becoming a fundie! It’s fun…why I just ordered me up a bunch of Chick tracts and I’m going through all the addys I’ve collected from Dopers over the months and I’m going to SAVE YOU ALL!.
It’s nice to have goals in life, isn’t it?
Well then, can I use the line about freckles?
God told me it was okay…it doesn’t matter who the messanger is as long as HIS WORD IS SPREAD!
Out! No fundies in my Black Mass!
However if you step this way we will validate your parking. After all, we’re not barbarians.
I’ve decided to stay in this thread, even though nobody agrees with me and I am offended by everything you say and do and stand for. I will argue pointlessly and am anticipating bringing in one or two “friends” to back me up. Finally, I will give up and disappear never to be seen again.
Everybody okay with that? We got a plan? Good!
Thanks tater!
Oh, and if you happen to see my invisible friend Binky while you’re rounding up your fundie “friends,” could you send him home? We sent him out for McDonald’s hours ago, and we’re starting to get a little worried.
I will pray for Binkie.
And my friends really do exist! We all have the same IP number because GOD is our ISP and he has such a big, um, port thingy that he only needs one number to service all of his users.
Wow. Is God hurting so bad for chicks that he has to use that line on them now?
Hello?!?! Earth to Persephone (a heathen name, that)! God is a Virgin and has no need for silly girls. Sheesh don’t you Godless Heathens go to Sunday School? Your ignorance astounds me.
I’m feeling quite innocent tonight. Will someone corrupt me? Please?
K…::lying down:: don’t see why not, this can’t hu-
Aiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! The CUSHIONS!! They’re soft and TENDER and shaped like cigars!!!
And that’s okay. I don’t mind being asked that stuff by the SD “gentlemen.” Gunslinger can take out whoever bothers me enough…and Jester has Eric who would scare the hell out of any godfearing SD Doper. (Double indemnity, I call it.)
Let’s go point by point, shall we?
Persephone is a Goddess. And my Goddess gave birth to your God. Nyah.
God is a virgin? Riiiiiiiiiight. If God didn’t know how good an orgasm felt, we wouldn’t be calling his name during one, now would we?
No, us Godless Heathens don’t go to Sunday School. We’re too busy praying to our collective Porcelain Gods after cramming at Saturday Night School.
Now, can I borrow a few of those Chick Tracts? I’m out of TP. Thanks. You’re a peach.
Nooooooo!
rips into the room and sweeps away with Zoggie
Us virgins must stick together!
Ahem.
God hates Fundies… amen.
looking around for the virgins… after all, there is more than one way to "sacrafice a virgin"
points to self…I’m a virgin. You can sacrifice me if you like. I’m willing.
Well, I too am a virgin, a 20 year old male virgin at that.
I wont be part of the sacrificing, unless its my virginity that is going to be sacrificed. Otherwise, keep away from me, I have holy water and I know how to use it.
You wanted evil? Well, here I am! Let the rituals begin!