My children come forth, al ye who have never begun a thread in that dark and murky muckhole, the BBQ Pit. Proud am I to say that I am one, and pledge to remain unsoiled for all of eternity. Or until somebody gets me mad enough.
Ye who come forward as truly clean will henceforth be granted the immaculate title, BBQ Pit Virgin, on a 3×5 index card suitable for filing or adding to thy sig line, and thy name will go down in history (I bought a little white book just for the occasion).
Beware the temptation of the Pit, for even replying there more than a handful of times may cause thee to become irreversibly soiled. In such a case, I will have no choice but to strip thee of thy virgin status (which could actually be fun, too).
Ye few worthy souls who confess to thy dirty sinful ways & pledge never to venture back into the abyssal realm of the pit may kneel before me and beg for exorcism, so that the demons might be cast out and thy virginity restored.
Who among ye shall come forward and testify?
Comptroller of the BBQ Pit Virgin Registry
Yea, I swear that n’er have I wondered in to the Pit. My reputation is unsullied. I beseech thee to grant me Virgin status!
I started a pit thread flaming myself once. Does that count? If not, you can make me a “technical Pit virgin” (since I only flamed myself, no one else!).
I haven’t been to the pit much yet. Maybe a few times but not much. Not much at all. I never even got my Flame from Satan pouts
All I did was lurk! I swear!! I wanna be a virgin too!!
oh wait…that doesnt sound right…
I was ATTACKED in the pit by Johnnyharvard/IgnoramusT.Asshole, but I never actually went there…just followed a link from the GD. I encourage you all to read it, it’s called Nacho4Sara bring it on or something to that effect. Very funny, especially when everyone jumps down his throat.
I posted once or twice and will never do it again.
Can I be a born again? Please?
No technicalities needed – never been there. Not even once!
I beseach you master…please take pity unto me…<Grovelling pitifullY>
For, ne’er have I started a flame in the pit. Alas, I am dirtied to thy bone from responding, and must be imparted a blessing from thee if I am to continue on…
I love BBQ! Ribs, Roast, Ham, Beef in general…
Oh wait… Flames. Insults, that sort of thing.
Yup, Unsullied here, do I qualified?
Fine. stay away. We don’t want you there anyway! Neener, neener, neener!
TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
One month, one week, two days, 4 hours, 26 minutes and 30 seconds.
1567 cigarettes not smoked, saving $195.92.
Life saved: 5 days, 10 hours, 35 minutes.
Oh sweet giver of life, I throw myself before you. I have, on occation, strayed into the Pit to see what all the ruccuss was about. Upon witnessing the filth and realizing that it was starting to stain my clothing I ran away, never to return.
I immediatly burned those clothes.
Please, “Virginize” me. I just want to belong…
Don’t get me wrong Satan…I’m just going for a virginal recharge here.
There’s a BBQ Pit around here ?
I’m really going to have to stop spending so much time in GQ and MPSIMS.
I cannot ask for redemption. I am part of the Pit, pitiful I know, but what can I say? I love it.
I am quite the pit attender, but I was wondering if posting here will let me lose my virginity again. I figure that couldn’t be a bad thing.
Born again virgins are always the most pious kind.
Lots of popes were fathers before they found their calling.
(And some after, but that’s born again un-virgin.)
I’ve never started a thread in the Pit. Posted to them, yes. Please be gentle.
You know what they say, If you haven’t been in the pit in 30 days, you’re re-virginated. ( Maybe it’s if you haven’t had sex in 30 days?)
Oh, and green m&m’s make you horny, too.
I am most definitely a “Pit Lurker”. I’ve posted to topics on four occassions, but never started a thread or flamed anyone. So I guess I’m a pussy, but I love The Pit. It reminds me of when I was in high school and “Cat Fights” would break out in the hallway as I stood and looked on in amazement. In a strange way those fights, and the action in The Pit turns me on. Is that wrong? Should I not feel that way?
I suppose my thread in the pit entitled " I can whip any sonofbitch on this board" exempts me from virgin status right?
I thought so.
What Satan said.