Forget windshield wipers, let's redesign horns

You would think with all the electronics in a car already you could have a horn that would give a nice gentle “meep-meep” for courteous alerts. And maybe another ‘regular’ highway setting before going all the way to “Fuck you, your mother and the horse you rode in on”.


Yes! Something less than blaring when you just want the guy in front of you to put down his phone and make his damn left turn already.

I’d also like a rear facing horn, as well as one that makes a different sound that we could understand to mean “sorry, I didn’t mean to honk at you just then, I bumped the horn”.

Fourthed! I currently rely on duration to convey meaning: a short beep is “the light changed,” while a longer blare is “fuck you.” Sometimes the nuance is difficult to navigate. Different horns would help.

The Volt has two horns. A nice one to warn pedestrians you’re coming at them, and a regular one.

did you say “meep-meep?”

The 1st gen Volt did. The newer mode just whines all the time. The 2019 model is similar, but the noise changes with speed.

I submit. The polite horn

I would like a horn that goes “screeeeeeeeeech” – like hard braking

Usually when you honk at an asshole, s/he just gives the finger. I would think the screeeech sound would hammer home better that the asshole just seriously endangered his/her own personal life.

No redesign necessary; they work quite well.

And while we’re at it, is there any reason we can’t bring back the Ah-OOO-Gah!?

Many years ago, I purchased a used chevy that had been modified by a previous owner. Among many other annoying customization, in addition to the factory horn, an aftermarket horn set with it’s own dedicated button was installed. I don’t know where he got them but they looked like they were salvaged from the roof of a semi - and there were four of them mounted under the hood. The only time I ever blasted them, I was immediately pulled over, The deputy instructed me in no uncertain terms that I could either get a ticket for excessive noise or I could disconnect the wires for them right now.

I’m glad I had wire cutters in the car with me.

Ah-ooo-gah is my favorite after market horn.

Harbor Freight has them for $9. You can buy better ones for $30 to $40 other places.

I wouldn’t risk getting loud dual air horns. Too much road rage out there. One tap of an air horn might get a dangerous response.

Cars should be equipped with a 6 button horn array on the steering wheel. You choose the sound package to be installed at the dealership when you buy a car.

I’d choose the animal sound package with the following buttons:

• Yappy Little Dog: For slow poke drivers you get behind in the fast lane.
• Pig Squeal: For road hogs and parking spot thieves.
• [Porpoise Laugh]( For friendly prods or give right of way.
• Duck Quacks: To alert other drivers to potential danger (like ducks crossing the road). 
• Parrot Voice (*“you’re an idiot … squawk … you’re an idiot ..."*): For bonehead drivers.
• High Decibel Elephant Trumpet: To jar the moron stopped in front of you to put down his cell phone and proceed when the light turns green.

What sound package would you choose?

[quote=“BobBitchin, post:8, topic:822128”]

I submit. The polite horn


Exactly what I was gong to post. Mark Rober is a lot of fun.

I want to put one in my car.

The idea of the horn being anything I can record or any sound file I can find is interesting.:smiley:

Best horn: A long straight one, mounted in some kind of shockproof housing so your car didn’t get damaged every time you used it.

Maybe we can invent something to make the horn quieter when people lock their cars and it makes the horn honk sound.

And they should all play La Cucaracha.

Yes! It’s silly that those are so loud.