You would think with all the electronics in a car already you could have a horn that would give a nice gentle “meep-meep” for courteous alerts. And maybe another ‘regular’ highway setting before going all the way to “Fuck you, your mother and the horse you rode in on”.
I’d also like a rear facing horn, as well as one that makes a different sound that we could understand to mean “sorry, I didn’t mean to honk at you just then, I bumped the horn”.
Fourthed! I currently rely on duration to convey meaning: a short beep is “the light changed,” while a longer blare is “fuck you.” Sometimes the nuance is difficult to navigate. Different horns would help.
I would like a horn that goes “screeeeeeeeeech” – like hard braking
Usually when you honk at an asshole, s/he just gives the finger. I would think the screeeech sound would hammer home better that the asshole just seriously endangered his/her own personal life.
Many years ago, I purchased a used chevy that had been modified by a previous owner. Among many other annoying customization, in addition to the factory horn, an aftermarket horn set with it’s own dedicated button was installed. I don’t know where he got them but they looked like they were salvaged from the roof of a semi - and there were four of them mounted under the hood. The only time I ever blasted them, I was immediately pulled over, The deputy instructed me in no uncertain terms that I could either get a ticket for excessive noise or I could disconnect the wires for them right now.
Cars should be equipped with a 6 button horn array on the steering wheel. You choose the sound package to be installed at the dealership when you buy a car.
I’d choose the animal sound package with the following buttons:
• Yappy Little Dog: For slow poke drivers you get behind in the fast lane.
• Pig Squeal: For road hogs and parking spot thieves.
• [Porpoise Laugh](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cN0H0g4pZaY): For friendly prods or give right of way.
• Duck Quacks: To alert other drivers to potential danger (like ducks crossing the road).
• Parrot Voice (*“you’re an idiot … squawk … you’re an idiot ..."*): For bonehead drivers.
• High Decibel Elephant Trumpet: To jar the moron stopped in front of you to put down his cell phone and proceed when the light turns green.