Thank you for posting in my thread, Shagnasty. It’s made me smile. I can assure you, I am not Irish, though I am brown eyed, and I enjoy Van Morrison and a good, stiff pint or two.
It seems to me that forks were designed for both stabbing and scooping as they can manage both passably well. If you never stab, stick to spoons, you don’t really need a fork. You can hold down a piece of steak you’re cutting just fine with a spoon, if you press hard enough. Forks do work much better on salad greens, however. You impale the lettuce on your fork, no? As for the scooping business, I prefer to scoop small vegetables using my knife onto my fork. Incredibly, dinner forks can hold a respectable number of peas on top of the flat tines and this method doesn’t require repeatedly poking at the plate for individual peas. Why, yes, I do use my fork as a shovel. Or maybe a frontloader, which, strangely, also has tines. But it’s probably more like a spork.
Back to the tines: salad forks typically have three tines and are slightly longer. That makes this fork superior for stabbing, not so great for scooping. This makes sense; salads are not scoopable. Dinner forks have four tines, giving the flat top surface better holding capability and yet allow sauces to drip through leaving just enough sauce to coat the food, but not too much that the morsels’ own flavor drown in the sauce’s. But dinner forks are still pointy, making it easy to hold the meat and lift it to your mouth in one clean movement. No fumbling around, switching hands, is necessary, I agree. Twirling from tines down to tines up may also appear affected to some as it serves no useful purpose beyond aesthetics.
Now, I give you the opportunity to laugh at me, because at home (when nobody is around to give me grief) I hold the fork with my thumb and forefinger at the base of the handle. The end of the handle rests lightly on my fingers curled underneath it, while my palm prevents the fork from tipping downward. I don’t grip it, I cradle it. If I am stabbing meat, it’s tines down from plate to mouth. If I am scooping, it’s tines up from plate to mouth. This is the most comfortable way I’ve held a fork, though I have yet to scrunch up the courage to do it in public. I generally don’t take well to being ridiculed for my “heathen” ways. But my hands thank me. I’m gauging reaction as to whether its time to my take this mannerism public.
In any case, explain to me again how a fork is not multipurpose.
Off-topic, is it okay to order milk in a White Russian? I know it’s supposed to take cream, but I don’t like the gloppy feeling of cream in my mouth. I should maybe just to Vodka Gimlets and avoid creamy drinks altogether.