I have dealt with infidelity multiple times in my now-over marriage. I found that when you play a suspecting fool first then play your hand, you find all the ‘dirty laundry’ you need to. For intance i had proof my husband lied to me about his where abouts multiple times(reciepts and phone bills, dated pics from in his truck, etc). Note i also saved this stuff up for a couple of months, the knowing what was going on killed me, but the need to b sure of the accusation is neccessary. Asked him for the truth, released on piece of evidence at a time and th story became more pathetic each time until he had to tell the truth.
It’s not fun to know all of it, and as much as it may plague you it is truly better to leave it alone sometimes especially if your sister and her husband are getting along fine now. I wish i could have prevented my divorce, especially because we have kids together. With that food for thought said…
Only advise I can give you is confront all involved. I think at this point in your marriage no one could hold it against you if you read it… But i find you can find all the information without readingit. Just call a little meeting with the four of you present, under false pretenses of course. Then ask them for the truth, then bust out the journal and ask them if you read that would you find any contradictions to the story they just gave you. They will be totally thrown when they realize what’s really going on. And they will tell the truth… hopefully.
Good luck and I’m sorry for all the pain I know it causes…
I think the OP was yanking our collective chain. On the off chance that he wasn’t, I would advise him to forget the entire damn thing. Never talk about it, never even mention it and above all take no prisoners and never retreat.
Damn you two! I had just started to forget about this thread!
Now I want closure again.
a. Copy diary. Keep copy in safe (not in house, nor anywhere else your wife could find it)
b. Examine original closely - have pages been cut out?
c. Can you be certain it is BIL’s handwriting?
Contact divorce atty; suggest sister do same.
Whatever turns out to have been happening, your relationship is pretty much shot, and all 4 of you know it. Deal with it now - do not waste any more of your lives living with people you can’t and don’t trust.
I did like the idea of calling each to establish locations. But - this is supposed to be a marriage, right? Marriages don’t usually involve tracking each other’s location…
If you want to do the private eye deal, look up GPS-based tattletales - hide one in her car and copy the log of time/date/location. Compare with sister’s log of her hubby’s unit.
I think the best way to deal with it is to come to a message board, write up a big thread about it, post the thread, get a good discussion going, and never come back again.
Damn. I read through this whole thread in sequential order thinking that it had been revived because the OP came back.
Does anyone else hear that song by Bread whenever they see this thread title?
No, I think of the Weird Al song.
“Got a funny feeling, you don’t love me anymore…”
No, Three Dog Night.
It Don’t Matter to Me?
Baby I’m a Want You?
The Guitar Man?
Aubrey?
Make It With You?
I think she means the Bread song, “Found My Brother-in-law’s Diary In My Wife’s Underwear Drawer.” It wasn’t a hit where you grew up?
Yes, I wasn’t going to mention it because I try to avoid causing earworms whenever posisble. So, yeah, thanks for that, and I’ll spread the love now:
Bread - Diary
I found her diary underneath a tree.
and started reading about me
The words she’s written took me by surpise
you’d never read them in her eyes.
They said that she had found the love she waited for.
Wouldn’t you know it, she wouldn’t show it.
Man, there’s times I wish I’d known about this place years ago. This is one of them.
The b side, “I Wish I’d Left My BIL’s Diary In My Wife’s Knicker Draw”, was an unrecognised C&W classic.
You know that Bread song If (“If a face can launch a thousand ships, then why can’t I paint you?”) ?
How’d they get that guitar sound (I’d describe it as ‘wet’ and ‘melty’)?
Probably. He never came back after making his third post.
You mean it’s not a synthesizer? Or at least, a jacked-up organ?
I always assumed it was a clean guitar through a Tremolo-circuit-equipped amp. Kinda like the beginning of Green Day’s **Boulevard of Broken Dreams **or The Smith’s How Soon is Now? just with the settings set a little differently…
And now the rest of the story:
Well, that explains why he hasn’t been back.