… and a six year old, too! Apparently that’s what the government is on the lookout for. When we flew from Tampa back to Cincy the little red light went off (third time for us in four trips as a family, hurray!) Only this time it wasn’t Mrs. ShibbOleth, rather the tiny, adorable, but possibly armed to the teeth Olethlings! My daughter, the older of the two, obviously posed a serious threat in her shortsleeved blouse, shorts, rubber flipflops and Swiss cow backpack, filled with lethal dolls, hairbands and drawing implements.
But the real mastermind was obviously my cunning four year old, deceptively dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, commando as usual, with only the al Qaeda approved Power Rangers[sup]TM[/sup] sheathing feet that could double as weapons of micro-destruction. He’s just over a meter and just shy of 20 kilos of pure dynamite, so the officials consternation was not unwarranted. Fortunately he possessed the foresight to leave his [sub]plastic[/sub] swords and Batman accessories at home, or he would have had quite some explaining to do to the Federal Marshals and FBI SWAT team that, with luck, would have subdued him alive.
After they’d been fully checked, the backpack searched, the shoes removed and scanned, could we feel entirely safe flying with these mini-miscreants. Sure, there was some turbulence on the flight, and I even had to endure a long winded conversation that the woman behind me inflicted on the woman seated next to her, but this was nothing compared with the mayhem my kids could have unleashed had their nefarious inclinations gone unchecked! God bless you, Office of Homeland Security, for the skies are truly safer through your diligence and efforts. On behalf of all of America, I salute you!
You know, perhaps they were pulling the Xth person through the scanner no matter who it was? If they pull every tenth person for full check, which is what I am told they are doing at most airports right now, your kid was probably that Xth person, or your family was that Xth group.
Of course, they’re not only, (and very likely not mainly,) looking for terrorists, they’re on the lookout for contraband.
And people who fall into the category of “evil-doer” because they prefer hashish over bourbon have been known to attempt to exploit people’s trust of children to move their dope through security. So it’s not that ludicrous. Or it is, depending on how you look at it.
By the way, do they still have soldiers with automatic weapons in the airports down there? Or has that blown over?
Hey, c’mon, you never know when the Baby Bomber may strike next.
I suppose a really evil bastard could slip a bomb into some unsuspecting tyke’s Power Rangers [sup]TM[/sup] Backpack, or into baby’s diaper bag while Mom is looking the other way.
The one that makes me laugh is the “Are you planning on committing any terrorist acts while in the US? Yes/No” on the customs forms. I’m sure they’ve tripped up many a criminal mastermind with those.
Heh. My kid sister’s craft scissors were confiscated and I was subjected to a full-body check (gum wrappers are metallic?! Wow, I learned something new today! :rolleyes:****) when we were flying from Taiwan to San Francisco (right now I’m in Baltimore, MD)
Sigh Unfortunately, the loss of the scissors only made things worse… without anything to cut her precious paper dolls with, she became (gasp) bored… and a bored 8-year-old is a terror to be with (I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. It’s worse. No, worse than that. A bit more worse (worser?) - there you go.)
Someday, there’ll come a time when a hijacker will hold up an airplane with a single-digit-year-old child who has been fed solely with Pixie Stix and pure, raw sugar for the past week. Oh, the horror.
Actually, I wouldn’t be the least surprised if a Palestinian bomber did try to use a child to hide a bomb or weapon. It’s pretty clear the Palestinians have no qualms about killing children.
Smugglers have hidden contraband in children’s toys and even once in a false ice-cream cone. It wouldn’t be inconceivable for a terrorist to utilise a child - or the immunity you seem to think children should have - to bring dangerous items onto a plane.
gobear: Exactly, because we all know that white terrorists (members of the old IRA, perhaps) would never stoop to killing children on their way to school or setting bombs where children might be.
What Shib has failed to mention is that his kids are armed and dangerous! I’ve seen them and I know for a fact that they are cute enough to kill. One strategically aimed puppy dog look from his daughter can melt hearts. Don’t even get me started on their almost ninja like abilities to overheat a person’s cockles with their rendition of Little Red Riding Hood (starring Elmo, of course).
The Boy just sat during the entire flight and listened to the music/tv/whatever was on his head phones. The Girl was a bit more animated, but not much.
To my knowledge, unless this is a new thing, they have never before done random checks for contraband on domestic flights. And if they want to do it they could use trained dogs to sniff for contraband (of the quasi-pharmaceutical-type) to be much more effective.
If you really cared about catching terrorists, you would check every person, or you would profile (civil rights be damned). I am really starting to believe this is just some bizarre, politically correct publicity stunt. If you do check children, it would seem to make a hell of a lot of sense to also check their parents.
And it’s clearly not every X number of passengers, since they checked both my kids (but not their parents) who were passengers X and X+1. They were in seats 41-F and 42-F.
FWIW, if anybody in my family even mildly resembles a terrorist, it would be me. Even my good friends have commented that I often look like CIA or a hitman (too much movie viewing, I reckon). I’ve yet to be searched.
And I was trying to convey most of these sentiments in a hopefully humorous and certainly sarcastic fashion. If anyone wants to be serious/caustic, in either response or reaction to other’s response, please open a pit thread.
To Diceman, Jjimm, Derleth and Efrem:
you can keep your kneejerk accusations of racism to yourselves. We’re not talking about all Palestinians or all Arabs.
We’re talking about terorrists who have a hardon for America: we’re talking aobut the Palestinians, we’re talking about al Qaeda, we’re talking about Hamas.
And the plain truth is terrorists have no scruples about killing kids.
And I hate break it to you guys, but “terrorist” isn’t a race. An al qaeda terrorists can be a Latino gangbanger or a middle-class white guy. I also hate to break it to you but Muslim isn’t a race either. You have swarthy Arabs, black Tanzanians, and white guys gfrom Uzbekistan or Kyrgyzstan who are just as Caucasian a s people in Iowa or Nebraska.
I never accused you of racism. However, if one were to seek evidence to support that accusation, your singling out Palestinian terrorists over all other terrorists might give one the wrong impression of your intent.
Nobody was taking about Palestinians at all, until you brought them up.
Where, precisely, did this come in? As I said, there are terrorists in other countries you know.
No, we were talking about the risk of a child being branded a potential terrorist by airport security.
I quite agree. So what’s all the bringing the word “Palestinians” into it? Again, there are terrorists of other nationalities: think ETA, IRA, UVF, UFF, INLA, UDA, etc. etc. etc.
No, but Palestinian is.
If you want to avoid accusations of racism, then don’t bring race into a general discussion. :rolleyes:
