Remember that 80’s song by Frankie Goes To Hollywood, ‘Relax’?
Lyrics went something like this:**
Relax don’t do it
When you want to go to it
Relax don’t do it
When you want to come**
I can think of million things not to do when you want to come. Think of grandma, pour Tabasco on your 'nads, ram a meat skewer through… well you get the point.
Was it ever determined what FGTH specifically had in mind not to do?
Umm… come.
I always thought that Frankie would prefer it if you relaxed a bit instead of ejaculating. Make it last at least until the end of the song where he pretty clearly gives you your cue.
Having never actually slept with Frankie, I could be wrong.
You know, “Frankie Goes To Hollywood” was awesome. Thanks for reminding me. I’m going to go pull out some FGTH tapes.
i always thought that the relax bit refered to yer marmite motorway and that was wot all the fuss was about when the song was released?!
The song is about sodomy.
It is about relaxing your sphincter, which allows for considerably more pleasure in the act of anal sex.
From http://www.bubblegun.com/features/banned.html
marmite motorway = spinchter btw
hehe 
I think I understand this now. In the phrase, “Don’t do it, when you want to come”, I always took ‘it’ to mean don’t do <something>, when you want to come", where <something> was some other, unnamed activity.
I see now that “it” is directly referring to coming. “Don’t do it, when you want to come” is like saying, “If you’re about to come, don’t”.
A twenty year personal mystery solved!
I still think you’re being a little anal, revtim – or not, actually. It’s about relaxing the sphincter to allow access and thereby, eventually, ‘coming’ (as camkorn suggests with his ‘marmite motorway’ reference).
At last recollection Holly Johnson (the lead singer) was hanging in there with AIDS but that was some time ago – I don’t know what happened…
<channeling “Emily” (Joan Cusack) in In & Out>
Is EVERY song I like really about anal sex???
</channeling>
First “Brown-Eyed Girl,” now this. I don’t think I want to know any more “real” song meanings!
<covering ears> LA LA LA LA LA LA LA …
WHAT?! Explain yourself, missy. My whole world feels on the verge of shattering.
WTF? Brown-Eyed Girl is about anal sex? As in the Van Morrison classic? That’s gotta be some twisted exegesis. Please explain.
How 'bout that one about turning your brown eyes blue?
Or the Hokey Pokey?
You put your right hand in,
You take your right hand out,
You do the Hokey Pokey
And you shake it all about.
Sounds pretty suggestive once you look for it!
Well, being a brown-eyed girl, I always liked that song. Until somebody told me that the brown-eyed girl was really, well, a one-eyed, brown-eyed girl. (Maybe she’s Willy the One-Eyed Wonder Worm’s girlfriend.) I don’t know or care whether it’s true or not. The image has been burned into my mind, and that’s enough.
I also believe that the “dummy” lyric for Billy Joel’s “Honesty” was “Sodomy . . .”
Oh, and thanks a lot, bugger-hunter. 
[sub]although I always hated that song anyway, so it’s kind of appropriate
'Tis with utmost regret I report there is indeed a school of thought that believes Van the Man is referring to bottom banditry in ‘Brown Eyed Girl’. I don’t actually go along with it (the theory, that is) but it’s there in the archive somewhere- probably in one of those threads about the ‘real meaning’ of pop toons.
Reading those threads can be a little disillusioning as most things appear to relate to ones toilet.
I s this a good moment to bring up Stevie Nicks anal Coke habit ?
I thought ‘Sodomy’ was by the Bee Gees ? - certainly in the right key.
If one could ever conceive of a time when it WOULD be a good moment to bring it up, I suppose this would be it. Do tell…
Naive youth that I was, I always thought that this song was about abstinence. i.e.: Relax, calm down, don’t have sex when you’re really horny, kids.
Must be leftovers from Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” days…
Well !.. I’m not one to gossip but…
I did look at Snopes once to see if this was a known U/L and couldn’t find anything…anyhoo, this is something from ye old days of having a rock chic / music biz GF ( a world in which embellishment is not a stranger):
Seems Ms Nicks had a substantial habit for some considerable time and, not being entirely devoid of vanity, became increasingly concerned about aspects of her vocal performance - she believed that the wicked powder was affecting the quality.
Instead of giving up the habit, she decided to take it from the bottom up and, U/L has it, someone was employed on a full time basis to blow the powder up her arse.
I don’t know the veracity of this but it’s quite an often-told tale.
Glad you asked ?
Employed?
Hell, I’da paid her for that opportunity!