Fraternal/sororal/social organizations in public sphere: morality thereof, esp if secretive?

In My Humble Opinion
1

This thread is not about fraternities and sororities in colleges and universities (though that is a great discussion topic on its own, probably covered extensively over the years on this board).

It’s about when grown individuals form social groups that have at least some elements of exclusivity, most likely at least slightly similar to their college-level counterparts: you have to be invited to join, you get voted in, there is a secret handshake/password, you are sworn to secrecy about certain aspects of the organization, etc.

The goals of said groups seem to be two-fold: building a strong social network among members, and helping the wider community through philanthropic activity.

Not having ever been a member of the Masons, Shriners, Knights of Columbus, or many other such groups, I am not in a position to characterize those organizations in detail, and I don’t know if they fit the description I am aiming for.

But to my astonishment and bemusement, I did recently get inducted into that kind of organization. (And I can’t identify who it was, because I took a solemn vow to keep it sooper sekret. Yeesh. But I promised I would, and I don’t intend to break my promise.)

I’m a little weirded out. There is some dissonance here: I only joined the organization at the behest of people I care about, but they couldn’t give me the low-down on the secretive policies until I joined, because, well … it’s a SECRET. (This organization is closing in on 100 years old, so it is understandably rooted in some rather traditional values.)

My dad was a Shriner and loved it. I don’t know if he was initiated the way I was, though I suspect he was. (I know my mother was fond of rolling her eyes at their secret handshake, silly hat, parades, and whatever.)

Help me through my cognitive dissonance. Have I inadvertently contributed to exclusivity and societal stratification, the way the worst of fraternities/sororities do? (In my particular organizational case, diverse members are absolutely welcome, as are all income levels … still, you DO have to be invited, interviewed, and voted on in order to join.)

Or am I simply participating, with a certain amount of detached amusement, in a natural human social behavior, whose strengths (providing community for members, serving the public) outweigh any silliness of their paswords/handshakes/barriers to entry?

I’d be fascinated to hear stories from others who have participated in such organizations.

2

By any chance, was it the Stonecutters?

3

I wish. Then I’d get to meet a real live Martian!

4

An organization that is serious about philanthropic activity is well-served by vetting it’s members to ensure they are committed and willing to participate. There’s nothing worse than being in a volunteer group where only a few people show up to an event. I can see how an adult that really wants to have an impact would want to make sure they join a team where everyone else does too.

As long as the vetting is based on dedication it seems fine to me.

I’ve never been in a secret organization FWIW.

5

ISTM “secret” and “philanthropic” are just about opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to human motivations.

Being selective about membership is one thing. And can be done for either good and evil reasons. But secret is almost all evil. With maybe a bit of ritual silliness thrown in.

6

To the extent that it’s secret, how can we tell?

7

My view is an organization’s desire for secrecy is itself indicative of ill intent. The ill intent comes before the secrecy and causes it. Not vice versa.

So when you observe secrecy you can reliably infer ill intent with no need to penetrate any of the secrets. Organizations with nothing bad going on have no reason to even think of adding secrecy to their mix.

8

It feels weird to have this discussion anonymously on a message board.

9

Is the group itself secret? Or just some traditions – like handshakes, mottos, etc.?

10

Back in the ‘70s, my dad joined the Order of the Alhambra, which is ersatz Shriners for Catholics, because Catholics aren’t supposed to join Freemasonry. It was for business networking, of course. Like the Shriners play up Islam-inspired themes, the Order of the Alhambra themes itself around Islamic Spain - which, implicitly, leads to the Catholic Reconquista - you see the sleight of hand? My dad joined the local “Carmona Caravan” and for his admission was required to submit a 100-word “thesis” on the history of Carmona. He assigned me to ghostwrite it. The saga of Pedro the Cruel. To get initiated, he had to submit to a hazing ritual, which was physically strenuous and involved getting a banana smashed onto his head - those 40 and up were exempted from it, but Dad was 39½. (Pedro the Cruel strikes again!)

11

Secret socities aren’t what they used to be. I bet they didn’t even dress up like indians and electrocute you.

12

Hardly. The “secret” bits really arent so secret (Big Secrets etc having let many cats out of their bags, not to mention the Internet). They are just to make the member feel like they belong.