Fraxia

Let’s invent a country from the ground up. I’ll give it a name: Fraxia.

Anyone who wants to play can choose to add some kind of detail about this new land. You can write about it’s history, geography, topography, climate or whatever suits your fancy. I’ll start with it’s religion and national pastime.

The people of Fraxcia are, in the great majority, practicing Reformed Solipsists. Their spiritual leader is known as His Holiness, the Great I. Reality in Fraxia is a matter of public consensus. If enough of the inhabitants believe something exists, than it does. If they don’t believe in something than that thing doesn’t exist. Since reality is by consensus, it can change very quickly. Presently, they believe that there is a Fraxia but it’s location on the globe hasn’t been fixed.

The national sport of Fraxia is gargling. Fraxians hold the world records for duration (17 years, 3 months, 4 days and 9 hours and still counting as this is written), amount gargled (approximately the volume of Lake Titicaca) and the variety of things gargled (42 at last count). Fraxians have swept almost all the medals at all the Olympic Games, both team and individual, since gargling was first admitted as a sport at Mexico City in 1968 except for the gold medal in team gargling which was taken by the Australian team at the Sydney games. Fraxians believe that the Aussies got bribed the French judge at the team artistic gargling finals allowing the Aussies to steal the gold in one of the hugest upsets in Olympic history.

The national language of Fraxia, is naturally Fraxian. Here’s a sample.

“Fishing vaya and cozinherio to kjærlighet I Und, sisters et broers fourteen y parents пять with casa liten a de come yo. Fraxian a suis ich and, Bildoo é name мой, oi.”

Fraxians invented kitsch around 15,000 BCE. Today art lovers flock to the small country (when its location can be determined with any certainty) to view the cave velvet paintings.

Fraxians are all, unfortunately, tone deaf and their music is dreadful. But, being tone deaf, they don’t know that. Their folk dance tradition is strong and outsiders are usually relieved that the dancers wear tap shoes since the din of 100+ folk tappers usually drowns out the music.

And don’t forget the Great Pod Invasion of 1282. It almost wiped out Fraxia’s mung bean crop.
Stoopid pods.

The chief Fraxian export is talcum powder.

Fraxians’ favorite household pet is the two-toed sloth.

Fraxian legend has it that eating a lot of beans makes one extremely sexually attractive.

In an ancient traditional rite, Fraxian males are circumcised on their wedding night, by their bride.

Statistically, Fraxia has the lowest marriage rate per capita of any developed nation.

Oddly enough, the above two seem to be related somehow…

Due to the near impossibility of immigration since it’s locale is undetermined, the Fraxian gene pool is rather limited causing most Fraxians to be cross-eyed and jug-earred.

Architecture is a neglected art form in Fraxia. Since the location of the country may change suddenly, architects design buildings to go downwards rather upwards from the surface. Where other countries lavish praise on their architects, in Fraxia interiors decorators make the big money. Feng Shui, on the other hand, has never caught on because the house’s orientation in space may change from one minute to the next.

The Grand Prix of Fraxia is a much anticipated event. However, no Fraxians are allowed to participate due to the fact that many Fraxians have no thumbs and most become car-sick with the smallest amount of movement.

Speaking of cars, the Fraxians have appropriated defunct American marques, but come up with model names that mean something in Fraxian. Current top-sellers are the Edsel Tabato (luxury sedan), Hupmobile Bacarab (economy two-seater), Packard Amillamillamillamillamay (stretch SUV), and Tucker Cozinherio (muscle car).

A popular Fraxian pastime when cliffs are located in the country, is being chased by, or “running with” Lemmings. In approximately 500 B.C., Fraxia was located in what would later be Montana and the bones of jug eared Fraxians are to be found with North American Bison and, of course, lemmings, in Ulm Pishkun State Park.

I thought that the thread title said “Franzia”, and I was understandably excited.

Fraxia is governed by a system whereby the land owning males vote for an assembly who will elect the legislature. The voting assembly is chosen from a pool consisting only of those who are not eligible to vont for the assembly, therefor eliminating the chance that one might accidentally vote for one’s opponent. After the assembly has been chosen it takes a vote to select the number of members to be in the Legislature, and then they vote upon the requirements for eligibility to hold office. Of course one constant of eligibility is that you cannot be a member of the chosing assembly. The legislature has a term of three and a half years and is in charge of distributing land to it’s citizens, thus decing who will vote for the assembly, who will vote for the legislature. If the assembly does not elect legislature within fourteen business days, then the Nobles of Fraxia come together and vote a king into office. This king and his decendants rule untill a popular rebellion rises up to overthrow them.

This system indirect-democratic-republicanism/semi-democratic-monarchy has led to much confusion, and as such enturies, and many Fraxian citizens refuse to vote on the basis of “Let the country take care of itself.”