My Tibby McMuffin tasted strange Friday morning. Normally, my McMuffin puts McD’s McMuffin to shame. Musta got a bad egg.
Lunch tasted equally off. How can I screw up a square of microwaved Ellio’s frozen pizza?
Picked my daughter up from school. She asked why I was scowling at her. Huh?
Daughter said dinner tasted fine, but it didn’t taste right to me. I never botched a batch of baked beans before.
My right eye wouldn’t stop watering. I drooled a bit of beer on my shirt. Drunk on one beer? Must be turning lightweight in my old age…
I looked in the mirror and someone with Sylvester Stallone’s mouth peered back. Couldn’t shut my eyelid. Couldn’t raise my eyebrow. Couldn’t smile.
Didn’t want to disturb my daughter who was watching the season premiere of American Horror Story, but it was on DVR, so she could watch it again…
*
Uh, honey I think I may have had a stroke
Yeah, you don’t look so good, dad. I’m taking you to the hospital.*
First time daughter drove a car at night (she’s 16, with a drivers permit). Got to the ER alive, though.
They pulled me right back to triage (that’s one benefit to having stroke-like symptoms). I did feel bad they took me ahead of the guy with a gaping head wound, however (he got hit in the head by a go-cart).
Lots of tests later and friendly banter with the docs and staff. Conclusion: “looks like Bell’s Palsy, not a stroke.”
*Sorry for interrupting American Horror Story, honey.
*
Went to Publix today. I always chat with the cashiers there and give them a big smile at checkout. Today when I smiled the cashier looked at me like I was a monster. Oh well.
The symptoms should subside, but they may not. If they don’t, I’m tempted to contact a girlfriend I had 30 odd years ago. She made me jealous one night when she told me she’d sleep with Sylvester Stallone, if the opportunity arose. Maybe she’d settle for a Stallone impersonator.
At my age, I’m not too bothered by the way I look (my frightening grimace may come in handy around Halloween). But, I do want to taste my McMuffins again.