I am a pianist/music director who splits time between the professional and the community theater world. I have many friends that I have made doing theater, and when I am on a team putting up a show, I am often in the unenviable position of not casting scores of friends and acquaintances.
Most of those friends ‘get’ the process, and while not being cast can be a big let down, they get over it quickly, graciously, and quietly.
This weekend I had the benefit/joy of casting a show and not casting a particular friend. Here are some tips I would like to give her:
[li]Asking questions about the process because the last show did it in such-and-such a fashion that you didn’t like does not endear you.[/li][li]Saying that you didn’t get cast in the last show must have been “for a reason”, namely, so you could be in this show, makes you sound desperate. [/li][li]Whether you realize it or not, treating this audition as cosmically important for your life gives you a stressed, tense, and generally unpleasant demeanor. [/ul][/li]
Those tips are important because you are not the only fish in the sea. There were a number of people with similar or equal talent who auditioned who didn’t give off a vibe of ‘someone who would be challenging to work with,’ and many of them didn’t get cast. You’re an adult. You should know that sometimes you get in, and sometimes you don’t.
Posting on your facebook after the fact a sob story about how your life sucks and you never catch a break, blah blah blah, just confirms the impression you gave of being an unstable and unpleasant person to work with. Complaining that we filled one supporting role with our choreographer and that the process was ‘unfair’ might be a valid concern to bring up, but the fact of the matter is that a) no one sang or read for the part (though we did call back two people to give it a go, and b) the director and I had the choreographer audition for us, and I would have no problem telling her no. There was no one else for the part. Also, bitching publicly that one minor role out of the twenty roles in the show was filled by a team member, and so the whole thing is “unfair,” is such a painfully clear example of sour grapes that it’s a shame anyone is taking you seriously. PS, the adult way to deal with the situation if it really does bother you is to give me a call or e-mail and politely explain how the situation made you feel. Passive-aggressive fb posting, while it is de rigueur these days, makes you look like a spoiled kid, and is self-centered and rude.
Anyway, the long and short of this is that, friend, you gave a very solid audition as did many other people. When it came down to casting and we had to let people go, and both of the other people making the decision with me quickly wanted to put you in the “no” pile because of your personality, I felt bad, but based on what I saw I couldn’t disagree with them. And, the reason why the “universe” keeps giving you the same message is, frankly, because of you, not the universe. It’s your attitude that keeps you from the things you want, not some cosmic unfairness.
(sorry this is long and wordy, every so often I have experiences like this, and at least once I needed to vent about it).