I’ve been persuing this thread-
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=184644&pagenumber=2
Rather vigorously, and it made me realize that my lack-of-interaction with the opposite sex has really been an issue of passivity rather than one of being ‘the nice guy’. So, decided, what the heck, I’ll try the non-passive thing.
Last night I’m at a weekly get-together with a bunch of friends, and I have to leave early. A woman that I’m sort-of getting to know follows me out as she has to get something from her car, and we start talking briefly. Things are going okay, I get in my car, and drive home.
On the way back to the appartment, it suddenly hits me. Perfect opportunity to -not- be passive… Gone. D’oh!!! I felt like a total idiot. :smack: :smack: :smack:
So now the issue isn’t passivitiy, it’s IDIOCY! 
Been there. Done that. Way don’t want the T-shirt. 
Why do I so recognise the situation?
Not that I necessarily feel like you handled the situation beautifully, or anything, but that isn’t exactly the what folks are referring to as passivity, in the other thread. Unless there’s a lot more to it, that we don’t know.
Being non-passive doesn’t mean hitting on every woman you come in contact with. So, unless you’re actually romantically interested in this woman, you’re not an idiot for not making a move. Or, is “sort of getting to know…” and smacking your forehead supposed to tell us you’re hot for this lady?
Hot? No. Would like to get to know better, maybe have a few laughs with? You bet. I guess what I’m getting at is, I’ve realized that just sitting back waiting for things to happen isn’t really a good road, and I missed the opportunity to ‘not’ sit back, as it were.
Yeah, you should have made a move. Sitting back and waiting for things to happen is exactly what you’re trying to avoid.
Don’t worry, though – we’ve all done it. A lot. I can’t tell you how many times, perhaps months later, I’ve suddenly slapped my forehead and exclaimed “Ohhhhhh!!! She wanted me to do something!”
Recognizing you have a problem is the first step.
Yeah… there’s nothing more aggravating than having someone ask you, long after the fact, “why didn’t you make a move on me when you had your chance?”
The retort, “why didn’t you?” just doesn’t cut it.