And now I’m soooo looking forward to playing against an Iowa volleyball team. Looks like I’ve got some new rules to study. 
This is the same sort of attitude, only reversed, that polymorous people get so annoyed at monogamous people for voicing. You’re basically saying that a person who doesn’t believe in sex, just for sex’s sake, has somehow “been taught to believe that” as if they can’t think for themselves (because if they could, EVERYone knows that everyone would choose “no-strings” sex over sex within a loving relationship).
Just because a person feels one way or another, does NOT = they’ve been (incorrectly) “taught” to believe that.
Kindly consider that for some, that’s just how their emotional clogs and pulleys work and isn’t indicative of an inability to think, believe, or feel for themselves.
Errrr make that COGS and pulleys.
What??? I never claimed to know clock workings.
If it feels good, do it; just be prepared for the consequences. If the ground rules are spelled out, at least you have a foundation from which to work. If one of you deviates from those rules and makes the other person uncomfortable, then it’s time to call it off. Look for signs that the other person’s view of the relationship has changed (guys, this may require a little extra work on your part).
I wonder how many times pregnancy has occurred because of “fuck buddies.”
I had an FB for a while, several years ago. We’d gone out on one date, but there was no real emotional attraction, though we did have tons of chemistry. We would get together about once or twice a week, hang out, have (incredible) sex- we basically just had fun together. She eventually got back together with her ex, and we called it off.
I’d do it again. If you do it right, it’s a good thing.
Aren’t we a bit presumptuous? :rolleyes:
I didn’t have a “fuck” buddy, although I once had an “everything but fuck” buddy. It was a nice way to experiment with a guy that I liked and felt safe with. It ended when we both started dating other people so there were no hard feelings - when I see him around we’ll have a quick chat and he’s on fairly friendly terms with my boyfriend.
Of course having sex with someone who loves me is ideal, but if I were single I wouldn’t be against the idea of having sex with a male friend where there was mutual attraction, love and respect.
:). What I meant by that was once I had one of my good friends ask if I’d be interested in being friends with benefits, and we talked about it for a long time, and after really thinking about it and almost going through with it, I decided not to. (He had a girlfriend, and I didn’t want to be ‘the other woman).’
The other time, the guy wound up asking me out before the fuck buddy option could be raised.
And modro, I understand where you’re coming from…and I’m sure it does work very well for people, but I’d be afraid their were strings attached/that the other person wasn’t being upfront, etc. I guess what I’m saying is that for me personally, I’d be too paranoid I’d wind up losing the friendship (that’s what happened with my aforemetioned friend, and all we did was talk about the possibility, so I guess I’m a little leary of the idea when it comes to doing it myself).
Slainte, you’re right, doing it does make a lot of sense in that sort of a situation. I wish I’d put in an exception for that when I first posted, but at the time I was picturing the FB thing as what I’ve had experience; I have many, many friends who have tried it, and almost without exception, it’s been because they didn’t want to admit they really could care for the person or didn’t want tied down in an exclusive relationship. It was those kinds of situations I was saying the people involved should just try to date and see what happens. Didn’t mean to write it off in all circumstances as a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Its the difficulty in pulling it off that resulted in me getting a fuck buddie in the first place…
Oh, I knew what you meant. I was reacting to a double entendre that I saw, not one that you necessarily had put in there.
Apparently no one even saw my question.
We all thought it was a rhetorical question. Those are usually signified by the use of “wonder.” A nonrhetorical version of the question might be, “How many times has pregnancy occurred because of ‘fuck buddies’?”
Well, I was hoping to get some sort of reaction, so maybe I shouldn’t have taken out the quote I had planned on sticking in there:
“Mommy, why aren’t you and daddy together?”
“Well you see Billy, I never loved your daddy, I was just fucking him for fun and you were the accidental result.”
Basically what I’m getting at is that sex is probably best in the confines of a relationship so that if pregnancy were to happen, at least the couple should be more prepared for such an instance, whereas two strangers, or two friends, would probably start freaking out.
Although there are also those assholes out there who will have sex with a woman they claim to love and then high tail it out of town if he gets the girl pregnant.
That is where the maturity is very important, Monkey. Birth Control is extremely important in these situations, and for those rare times the BC fails, the decision needs to be made at that point as to what is next. I have no doubt that there are children out there from FB unions where precautions were taken, and I’m sure each case is different as to the parental responsibilities and interaction with the child.
Dude, as stated above, that is where responsibility comes in. Relationship or not. Because what about when regular relationships fall apart, now what to do with the pregnancy? See it doesn’t matter, plus FB’s are rarity anyway. So the pregnancy argument, I feel, is invalid here.
I wish I had an FB. 
Any Chitown lady’s wanna hook-up? :smack: 
I certainly couldn’t give an accurate estimate of how often the situation arises, Monkey, but UncleBill raises an important point. “Fuck Buddies” still need to take the same birth control precautions as any other sexually involved “couple.”
In my case, we took those measures. (I was on the pill AND we used a condom- every time.) We also discussed what we would do if I became pregnant. We were good friends, which helped us reach mutual decisions about those things.
I suspect that the occurence of pregnancy due to “Fuck Buddy” relationships isn’t much higher/lower than that of any other “couple” not taking precautions. I also agree with you when you say that sex is best within a relationship. Unfortunately, bodies tend to mature faster than brains- not that that’s an excuse. In the case of adults who have simply decided that that kind of involvement is best for them, maturity doesn’t necessarily enter into it. It’s just a choice they’ve made for themselves. No one else has any right to judge their decisions.
I think it may also be reasonable to point out that friends who also have sex aren’t exactly without a relationship. If there is friendship, mutual respect and neither party is sleeping with anyone else… well… I’d call that a kind of relationship- even if it is short-term.