Fuck Cancer

Yesterday, my lovely and long-suffering Wife was diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma. We have not gotten the pathology results back, so we do not know what stage she is at. It does not appear to have spread to her lymph nodes.

She had no sign of anything at her regular exam and mammography in February. Now she has a mass taking up a third of the volume of her left breast.

I would vent on Facebook, but she is a Friend there and doesn’t want everyone to know until we have spoken with her surgeon. We have decided that going the Angelina route is probably best.

I am very frightened. I do not know what I would do without her, and I do not know what I can do for her.

I concur with the cursing of carcinoma. I don’t really have any advice, as I don’t know what to do, either, but I do have best wishes for your wife and for you and your whole family. Really hoping that she recovers fully with minimal pain and suffering.

What terrible news, I am so sorry. Please keep us updated.

Ouch. Hopefully it was caught early, and it hasn’t spread.

My mother is a long time breast cancer survivor. She had a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Insurance only wanted to do the one breast, but she wanted them both taken. Apparently (sorry, no cite) the odds of cancer showing up in the second breast are very high.

Eventually, Mom won the argument, and had the double done. And they found cancer in the other breast when they biopsied the tissue.

What can you do for her? Just be there. Be supportive. Love her. If she does have surgery, she’ll need both physical and emotional support.
Best of luck to you and the wife.

Sorry to hear that, DrFidelius. I wish the best to you and your wife. It sounds like there’s hope, which is a good thing.

What they said.

I’m trying to think what I’d need and want in a similar situation. I’d want you to come to my appointments with me, ask questions of the doctors, take notes. I’d be distracted so I’d need help with mundane things are my responsibility, like paying bills, sending birthday cards, calling the plumber.

Don’t baby me too much but be attentive. And let me support you, because we’re in this together.

Hoping for a good outcome.

This. My dad has Parkinson’s disease, and has been to the hospital many times for that and other reasons over the past few years. My mom always goes along, but so does my sister; she’s the one who writes a list of questions beforehand to ask the doctor, brings a list of medication my dad is on, pays very close attention to what the doc is saying during the visit, takes lots of notes (and types it all up immediately afterward while her memory is fresh), and does lots of online research before and after those visits.

I think that would be an extremely valuable contribution that could help you and your wife make well-informed health care decisions as you deal with this.

I wish you and your wife the best.

im so sorry. Ive been learning about cancer lately…I suggest just be there for her, keep her spirits up and try to get her to eat raw( as in green, naturally grown)healthy foods, superfoods, and lots of vitamin c. :slight_smile:
Good luck <3

Oh hell. Cancer just needs to FUCK OFF already and stop disrupting the lives of so many of our friends.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

How is your wife taking the news?

I’m very sorry, DrFidelius. Hoping you get some good news from the surgeon and that treatment goes as easily as possible.

Crap. I’m sorry.

Advocate for her. If you are unable to detach enough during Dr’s visits to do so, find a friend or relative who can calmly absorb all information. Take detailed notes. Ask questions that you both have in a logical order. Find out all background data the Dr. offers that frequently is lost in the adrenaline-charged haze of Getting Very Bad News during a visit.

The information is all key and informs her decisions- and yours along with her if you two are making decisions together.

Make sure her Dr team ( and there will be a team who hopefully work cohesively ) speaks to each other every step of the way and understands she will want to have access to discuss issues as they arise, and discuss test results immediately when they are given to her/ you both. Not a week later.

You’ve always loved her. Now that love will be a foundation in a tremendous hard fight. Love her hard and remember she’s not a patient or a test result. She’s your sweetie.