Fuck corporate training videos

Some can be fun. I seem to recall John Cleese was hired to do a series of them.

For those who might be interested, lupin and IBS do not play well together (link). There are many vegan recipes that use lupin to replace the egg.

Back to the topic.

HR sent an email at the end of last year telling us that our Christmas gift was a link to 30 minute learning opportunities. Haven’t looked at a single one. Might be something useful, but the last thing I want to do is spend even more time on my work computer. I’ve had one in-person work meeting since October 1st, and probably won’t have another until April or even later. I spend enough time talking to my computer. Thanks, HR.

And we had to repeat the training about receiving gifts from contractors. Even though we were at home, and contractors are not permitted to have our home addresses (that’s the data security training), so they couldn’t give us gifts anyway.

And there’s no training for how not to be a dick. And some people need to be taught as I know two apprentices who need this training. One will be going somewhere else to learn this, the other will get “management attention”.

And then there’s my manager. Who decided to share someone’s medical diagnosis with the entire team. In an email. :roll_eyes: Would be nice if I could assign CBT to him, instead of the other way around.

If there was, Lesson 1 would probably be: “Don’t send your employees a link to a catalog of online learning opportunities, and then call it a Christmas gift.”

If I saw something with “lupine” at the workplace, I think I’d actually watch some Van Helsing-produced videos.

Tripler
Or maybe the instructional videos entitled “What We Do in the Shadows.

“Don’t Be So Familiar With Your Familiar”

My employer recently announced a replacement for our old (notoriously slow and buggy) video training system would be launched on Monday 1 February, which prompted me to write this message to a few colleagues:

“There will be a minute’s silence in memory of [old training system] at 11.00am on Tuesday 2 February. This is expected to load up at 11.18am and be finished by 11.52am. If it doesn’t save correctly for you, you can try to have it again at 3.07pm in a different browser, after restarting your computer. If you don’t stay silent for a minute successfully, don’t worry, you can take it again if you need to.”

It’s a slight tangent to the OP, but last year HR implemented a new system which covers booking holiday, expenses, appraisals, and all sorts of other things. Part of this was a feature that allows you to give feedback to other colleagues. It gives you three options: share with the individual, don’t share with the individual, share with everyone. Aside from the obvious ambiguity inherent in these options (it turns out in all three cases, the person’s line manager can see the feedback, and ‘share with everyone’ means HR can see too), I discovered that if you select “don’t share with the individual” - they could in fact see it anyway! You hardly need to be an HR genius to foresee the sorts of problems that could cause. When I tested it again a couple of days later, it seemed to be working as you would expect. I suspect someone raised it with HR and they quietly fixed it.