Fuck Frozen Doors!!! And Slow Drivers!!

The BBQ Pit
1

I live in Connecticut. Just this year alone we have gotten over 60 inches of snow. Waaay above the yearly average. I kinda like the snow. My dog loves it, and I usually do too. This morning however, My fucking doors wouldn’t open, so I sprayed a little deicer on the lock, and it still didn’t open. Then on to plan B. Kick the shit out of the door because you are late for class. [As the instructor that would be bad, the students by college rule must give me 20 minutes, then leave]

Ok back to plan B. Kick the crap out of the door until it losens then get in warm up car and go.

No such fucking luck.

Plan C. Boil a kettle of water dump on door to unfreeze it then presto-chango door opens I get in go to class.

So I boil the water, dump it on door, and I hear a little crack, thining it is the ice I jam the door open, and half of the fucking weather stripping comes off with it. FUCK FUCK DOUBLE FUCK!!!

So I throw the kettle across the driveway and Grisshom - my dog - runs after it and can’t grab it so starts barking at it.

SHHHUTTT!!! UUUUUPPPPP!!! <- I shouldn’t have taken my frustration out on the dog, but he was the only one there, and thank God it wasn’t my wife… She’d kill me if I yellled like that at her…

NO SUCH LUCK!

Said wife heard me yell at the dog, and came bolting downstairs and proceeded to lecture me on my lack of control and blah ba blah ba blahhhhh… So I said, I love you honey, but I’m late gotta go…

Got in car and left…

SIDE TWO

SLOOOOWWW DRIVERS FUCKING SUCK WHEN ON THE WAY TO WORK…

I get behind this guy doing 25 - in a 50 - I go to pass him and my car can’t get around him because the road is so fucking snowy. FUCK FUCK FUCK… The old guy in said Buick looks at me as if to say - what the fuck are you doing trying to pass me? -

Well fuck you buddy have to get to work you are just going down to the diner to enjoy a nice hot meal I bet.

So I persevere and get past him only a mile and a half down the road I run into a fucking red light. A FUCKING RED LIGHT!!! And I look in my rear view mirror, and see him come meandring up to me, go a quaint 20 miles and hour. FUCK. The fucking look on his face was more of a look of disgust, and a - your a foolish man - look.

Light turns green, and I step on the gas really hard, in first gear, and do I go anywhere??

Fuck no. My tires spin like a dragster. They finally hit asphalt and they smoke. Fuck, now the inside of my car stinks like rubber, and I’m almost 30 minutes late.

I finally get to school and pull up to see some of my students leaving the classroom. I get out, and one of them says “Hey Mr.Phlosphr! You made it… Do we still have class?”

This brought me right back down to earth, and I said, "Naaa get outa here… go back to bed… !! And he took off with a big grin on his face… I have really bad attendence in my first class because it is an 8 'clock class. So here I am, in my office writng down my frustrations. I feel slightly better.

Can anyone sympathize, or an I a complete schmuck?

2

Um, it does strike me that if you can’t pass someone going 25 mph because the road is too snowy, that may be a good sign that 25 mph is the safer speed to be going. But you apparently made it to school alive, so what do I know?

The part about the dog and the tea kettle was hilarious, though.

3

Yeah, seems to me you should have been going a little slower, but I can see with the series of events you described, that you were legitimately having a bad day. I hope it gets better.

I agree the part about the dog was pretty funny. What kind of Dog do you have?

4

I can totally sympathize, but yeah, you are a schmuck. Your bad morning and the bad luck of having your car door frozen shut doesn’t give you the right to be a hazard to everyone else on the road by driving recklessly and aggressively.

5

I know feather. I don’t usually drive like that. I’m a horrible role model aren’t I…:frowning:

6

Nothing wrong with going “fast” on snow? Maybe you guys aren’t used to it or something. If you passed the other driver Phlosphr, I figure it wasn’t that bad. I can normally do the limit in any condition with my car and stop safely. The key is winter tires.

BTW, hot water on your car is a bad idea. The temp difference can cause all sorts of problems (as well as seal your door when it freezes again). Next time, open your passenger door and crawl in (if you can). Once I had to crawl in through my rear hatch and then push the door open from the inside.

7

I had to crawl through the back hatch this morning!! What gives Ice the right to do that?