Fuck, here goes the cat

The BBQ Pit
1

I am posting here just because I wanted to say fuck. And I pit death. Fuck again.

Our old cat is finally on his last leg. Its been downhill slowly for a year or two. The past few months have almost been day by day. No apparent pain thankfully, just weaker and weaker with a few scary spells he bounced back from pretty quickly.

Well, the past three days he could barely walk and slept way more than usual for even an old cat. Also some sort of minor sinus infection. Todays walking was even worse. He even looked and acted like he didnt feel well (which usually hasnt been the case up to now).

So, yep, its fucking time. Spend an hour or two calling all the local vets to find one that will come to the house to put him to sleep. Trying to ask a few simple questions without breaking into tears and being unable to speak. Crying like a baby between calls. The vet I found a few months ago to do this has died recently (ah the cruel irony). During this call, I wasnt sure who was going to cry first, me or receptionist. I think it was a tie. FUCK. So, I get to go through this yellow pages of death exercise twice. FUCK. Also, you’d think the vets that won’t do this would keep a handy list of those that WILL. FUCK. Then I eventually find a new second one that isnt dead, but he is outa town for a week. FUCK. A third isnt in and will have to call back this evening and his schedule is busy. FUCK FUCK. Argghhh, my tear ducts are running out.

FINALLY, I find one. I had to call a lot of vets to find a 4th. Its a near miracle that I actually found a 4th I guess. Yes, they can do it tommorow. I prefer the evening, but 1pm is what will work for them tommorrow. Fine, folks found, decision made. This sucks big time…

And now what happens this evening ? The cat is looking and feeling way better this evening of course. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!

Where is that asshole with the black robe and the sickle thingy on a stick? I really want to kick him in the nuts right now.

Well, after 17 years, Boots has about 14 hours left. An hour per year roughly. Wow, in a depressing as hell sorta way.

Goodbye Boots, aka Bitchy Boots aka Boots Patoots aka Booter Boy aka Boooootttsss aka Fat Bastard.

Fuck.

2

If he’s feeling better and he’s not in any pain, why do it?

Keep the number for next time!

3

I would just add that we had a similar situation with our 15-year-old cat. He’s pretty arthritic, and his rear end just doesn’t hold him up as well as it used to. We took him to the vet, fully expecting to walk out with a dead kitty.

The vet didn’t think he was in any pain, and we didn’t, either. His rear end is just not very strong. She agreed that his arthritis is pretty bad, too. However, since he was alert, playful, purr-able, and not in any obvious pain, we decided to postpone it.

We have no doubt that we will have to end things at some point, possibly sooner rather than later. But as long as he’s not suffering, we decided not to rush into it. We also decided that if it was obvious he was in pain, we wouldn’t delay it. But it’s been four months now, and we haven’t regretted it.

4

Dude, I feel for you. It is never easy to make that decision. He may be experiencing a temporary recovery, but at that age the outcome is inevitable.

5

Ughh, todays fucking “countdown” is dreadful to say the least. Its like waiting to find out how you did on a test you think you bombed, or medical test results, or if you got the promotion…

Except you know for an absolute fact the news won’t be good.

6

Oh, man, you have my sympathy, been there, done that, so on and so forth. Even when they recover for a while (and that’s the worst part, knowing that it’s only for a while) it hurts. A hug (or other appropriate display of support) to you and Boots, aka Bitchy Boots aka Boots Patoots aka Booter Boy aka Boooootttsss aka Fat Bastard.

7

Damn. I’m thinking about you guys today, billfish.

It’s really hard to figure out when to make that phone call, and then to actually do it. I had to ask someone to set the appointment for me last time. Afterward, I changed vets so I would never have to go in that room again.

I’m very sorry.

8

Thanks to for all the posters wishing well. And all the non-posters who were sympathetic.

Fuck.

The deed is done. It royally sucked as expected. Maybe later I can relate a few less depressing kitty stories…

Again, thanks to all.

9

I’m so sorry. Kitties should be invincible. They think they are…

Here’s a toast to Boots, aka Bitchy Boots aka Boots Patoots aka Booter Boy aka Boooootttsss aka Fat Bastard.

10

I’m so sorry. Good thoughts to you and yours.

11

I’m so sorry. I’m sure he was a great kitty.

12

Gulping and blinking back tears, knowing the day for me will, too, be inevitable…

My sympathies to you. I’m so sorry.

13

{{{{{billfish678}}}}}

So sorry to hear of your loss.

14

I’m so sorry for your loss.

15

thanks all!

Wow, he is gone. Gone. Gone. No longer here.

He is not on his favorite chair. He is not on his favorite pillow. He is not on his favorite spot on the bed. I’ve looked. I’ve noticed. Nor is he in the kitchen bitching loudly for food. And he is certainly not in my lap right now purring his weak and old but happy heart out.

But I know where he is. He is in the back yard, under that big rock 3 feet down in the herb/rose garden. I’ve been looking at that big rock all afternoon. I can still see him laying there. I put him there. I have to fight the urge to go dig him up and hug him. My rational side says he is no longer really there. Another part of me desperately wants to do it one last time anyway.

I made the decision to put him there. It WAS the right thing to do. But its a decision that CANNOT be undone. Many of life’s choices are like that in practice. But, at least in theory, there is always that chance to undo it, or compensate for it, or pull some sort of hail mary at the last moment. Not here. Not this one. Its definitely final and I did it. I am glad I did it. But a tiny part of me will always hate having made that choice, or at least being forced to make that choice…

I’ll tell some more uplifting Booter stories later.

But for now. He is just gone.

16

I still occasionally look up from what I’m doing, sure that I’ve heard Domino complaining about something in another room, and he’s been gone for almost two years. I sorely miss his rumble-purr, the one with extra bass, that he only used when he was deeply content and well-settled in, preferably on top of a person so said person could not move.

Rest in peace, all the cats we’ve loved.

17

Oh god, I’m all choked up myself. I feel so bad for you, losing sweet old Boots. Last month I blew through $1500 trying to keep my 16-year-old Jake alive, and thankfully he’s still tottering around, but like you, it’s day-by-day. I feel for you, billfish. And I’m going to keep checking back for Boots stories to laugh and sniffle at. Mourn, and then feel better. I know you made each other very happy.

18

I did the same. We had to put my favorite cat ever to sleep a few months ago. It was unexpected as she was only 12 and we hoped to get a few more years out of her. I’ve had to put a couple cats to sleep before and it sucked…but this cat was different…she was more than a cat. She died in my arms and, since we have another cat we took him to the vet for a checkup…followed by the new kitten…and they kept putting us…
IN THE SAME DAMN ROOM!

The same table she took the death shot…the same sink she tried to find comfort in while waiting to die. The same posters on the wall.

I couldn’t take it and switched vets.

I wonder if some of the vets that don’t do it…if that is one of the reasons.

19

Tomorrow we are putting my little boy Vergil to sleep. He is only ten.

We returned home from a long weekend to find him very sick. We dropped our bags and rushed him to the hospital immediately. He was having congestive heart failure, and was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy.

He developed a very malignant arrhythmia, which we treated with a variety of medicine.

He stopped eating. His liver became toxic. We installed a feeding tube and spent two hours a day feeding, medicating, and caring for our little boy.

As of yesterday, his liver was looking much better. But somehow a clot must have struck one of his kidneys, because practically overnight, he is in the final stages of renal failure. Because of his heart, he cannot be given fluids or dialysis. There is simply nothing more for him that we can do. He was always the kindest, most unselfish cat. All of the little routines we had with him will be gone. I simply cannot wrap my mind about the enormity of this, and I have been crying on and off since last night. All my wife and I can do is pet him, hope he is comfortable, and try to do right by him up until the very end.

You have my deepest condolences, billfish. Believe me.

20

Maeglin

Are you going to have it done at home? It cost a bit more, but unless you are really hurting for money it is SOO worth it. If so, let me know ASAP here on this forum/thread and maybe I can walk you through some details that you haven’t thought of. Thats why I have already posted what I have. Not because I want attention or want people to feel sorry for me or even to cause others to cry, but to hopefully, in one way or another make it easier for others that half to go through this.