Fuck lawyers if they can't take a joke.

The BBQ Pit
21

Elvis - I’m a lawyer. Why?

Andros - Tho I’m relatively new to the board, I do recall Jodi being an interesting voice in a number of discussions. It is unfortunate she has chosen to no longer participate in the entire board, simply because she was uncomfortable with some folks thoughts about her profession. But if disagreements/arguments/insults as to the value and character of lawyers bothered her so much, couldn’t she just stay away from those threads? Or would she participate in a thread on, say religion, and someone would respond the her saying, “What do you know, you scum sucking lawyer?” If they did, I hope the moderators took appropriate action.

I’ll tell anyone to “get over it” that I want to, thank you (tho I’m not sure I have until now.) Some level of unpleasantness goes with the lawyering profession. And you should know going in that there is a small percentage of lawyers (and clients) whose questionable behavior causes portions of the public to generalize unfavorably towards all lawyers. Whining about it is kinda like choosing to become a garbageman and then complaining about the smell.

If a lawyer is truly disturbed about participating on this board. Wow! I can imagine many aspects of their job might be uncomfortable for them.

And in the spirit of the Pit, andros, I’ll be glad to lick your bag as soon as your mother is finished.

22

Kiss my ass John. If you can’t see what I was getting at in the debate thread then you’re too dim to be worth flaming here because you won’t get it either.

If you bothered reading more closely I both trash attorneys and place them on a pedestal. The extremity in BOTH cases was there to illustrate a point and invite discussion (i.e. here are the extremes now lets work to the middle where the answer usually lies).

The parts of your posts that do give information on how things work are good and to the point. It’s the other parts that constitute an overreaction. “Lawyers refuse to police themselves” is patently untrue and I apologize for not being clearer (ack an apology in The Pit!). It would have been better stated as “Lawyers suck at policing themselves” or “They do as little policing of themselves as they can get away with”.

Many professions do their own policing. Doctors, Public Relations professionals, Accountants, Teachers, Police, etc… It is in their own interest to do so else the government may step in and do it for them (notice how Hollywood is all of a sudden keen on instituting its own guidelines to avoid government intrusion when such government intrusion seemed likely?).

Twelve innocent people were put on death row in Illinois. There was some question in some of the cases that the prosecution had evidence that pointed to another suspect but ignored it. Technically, according to the Bar’s and judicial systems rules the prosecution didn’t do anything wrong that would get that attorney in trouble. I say that there code of ethics is lacking if it allows for such crap. So, a man goes to jail for years thinking he’s facing the electric chair and all the while he is innocent. Big deal right (sarcasm)? Only the hard work of some Northwestern students and their professor saves him…NOT because the prosecutor followed up on other leads as ought to have been the case.

Maybe, just maybe, there should be more stringent penalties facing the prosecution attorney in this case. The prosecutor works for the State. He/she should desire to see the guilty put in jail and NOT just anyone schlepp so their prosecution record looks good leaving the real scum on the streets. “But wait…it’s only his/her job to try the case at hand,” you might say. Screw that…if the prosecutor finds evidence that points to another party then they damn well should inform the police to get the REAL criminal off the streets.

In the thread in GD people keep defending the attorneys by saying they are merely misunderstood or the masses are just too stupid to realize what really happens and how great a thing they really are.

Who knows, maybe attorneys are the greatest thing in civilization. They are necessary and their jobs are important.

Please forgive us poor, unwashed, retarded masses that aren’t worthy of licking your boots from having the temerity to suggest that not all may be golden in the Halls of Justice.

23

Andros,

Now you are really doing a good job flaming me. It did look bad the way I typed the nazi statement about that attorney that I said I forgave. But when I forgave him back then I did not call him a nazi I only did that after he sued me two more times. But that is still no excuse. You are right.

And you’re right about the turning the other cheek. I sincerely have a hard time with that one. I guess kinda of like a drunk has with “do not be drunken with wine”. As a matter of fact I could really lay into a couple people on this board right now but I won’t because you are right it would be hypercritical. Shoot dude, I got feelings too. Man I put my blood in that business and then people insult me not knowing the actual story behind these suit.

Dude, I am sorry I have never mastered the English language but I don’t think that is a requirement in running a business which I have just been insulted about also. I was good to my staff I even gave Christmas bonuses one year when the profits just didn’t justify it. Most of my employees were sorry to me sell my business. Yes I sold it, I just got fed up. Those depressions were eating me and my family alive. My life plainly had no joy.

Believe it or not I really do forgive that lawyer that sued me and sent me in to those two major depressions that were just peachy fun. And it was hard because I am human and I hated that man. Now with praying about it I just dislike his actions I do not hate him anymore and that alone is a miracle.

Also Exprix,

After reading the jiberish I wrote to you, you have have every right to slam me into the ground. That was one crappy post I submitted to you and I apologize for it.

Pldennison,

While I would like to say alot more to you than this. This is all I have got to say. In the “Devils Advocate” the “Devil”(Al P.) was a senior partner in a law firm that did all kinds of legal work not just criminal. Maybe you should take a class in understanding movie comprehension.

24

HAAAAAhahahaahahahahahahaha! Sonny Jim, I’ve forgotten more about film than you will ever know. And what is “understanding movie comprehension”?

P.S.–If I found out my boss read and wrote like a fifth grader, I would be changing jobs posthaste.

25

I forgive you Jeff. You may lick my boots anytime. Now go have a wash, will ya?

26

*Originally posted by pldennison *

I believe I am right about this one unless you care to prove me wrong?

Nothing, it’s just a stupid smart ass comment like you calling me sonny jim.

You wouldn’t have to change jobs. I couldn’t have missed your smug pompous attitude and not hired you in the first place. But then you would probably sue me because I discriminated against you for being a pompous jerk that thinks he has an intellect.

27

Hey, Bill, if you dig yourself in any deeper, pretty soon you’ll be able to tell if the Devil really is a lawyer after all!

:rolleyes:

Gentlemen, I think this has been done, rightly, to death, n’est-ce pas?

Esprix

28

Hallelujah! Dinsdale has pulled me up from the ranks of the unwashed masses! Man, it sucked down there but don’t tell anyone else that I had to lick only one boot to get out else they’ll all be clamoring for a lift up.
pldennison:

It’ll probably change by the time you read this post but when I read your last post in this thread your post count was 3666.

Conincidence?

29

Jeff- Aw, nuts. I completely misremembered your position and confused it with someone else’s. Mea culpa- I hereby retract using your name as part of that example. I’ll just shut the hell up and sit back to watch phil take on bill.

This oughta be real fun.

30

I don’t want to waste your time, John, but I’ve said all I have to say to the man. Talking to him is like talking to a poorly written and rapidly malfunctioning Turing program.

31

Originally posted by pldennison

Man, I have know idea how to respond to this. I don’t know what a “malfuntioning Turing program” is. And I don’t know even if I want to know so I won’t even bother to type it in the ole search engine. I think I will be like phil and not waste my time either and go wakeboarding this afternoon instead.

Just one more thing before I go. Is my crappy English my fault or the school systems? Afterall I did graduate from college with a BS degree(I guess that is really what it was huh? :smiley: . So I was thinking if I can’t beat’em(plaintiff attorneys that is), why not join’em. You think I could find some really nasty plaintiff attorney and sue the crap out of the school system for letting me graduate while only be able to write like a 5th grader? And if I lose guess what, me and my evil buddy attorney don’t have to pay the gov’t’s legal bill. What a country. They will probably even settle. Easy money. :wink:

But anyway go ahead phil and exprix and flame the the crap out of me until tomorrow. But for now I can guarantee I will be having more fun this afternoon than you are typing on keyboard. BYE!

32

Are some lawyers scum? I won’t contest that. Some people are scum, and some of them are lawyers, some are business owners, some are fundies, some are conservatives, some can even be all of the above.
However, the blanket statement that all lawyers are scum is going to tick me off because it is obviously wrong and stupid. The blanket statement that all plaintiff lawyers are scum is also patently bullshit. Plaintiff lawyers have contributed to our society where you can drive a car without having to worry about burning to death if your car is rear ended (anyone own a Pinto?), have a job without having to worry that your boss is going to fire you for not attending Bible study with him (EOE lawyers, thank you!), drink milk without getting ill from it (salmonella lawyers, thank you!), and a myriad of other everyday things that are safer due to manufacturers and businesses changing their procedures because they want to avoid liability suits.

Is this a good thing? Damn right it is. Does it go too far in some aspects? Damn right it does, but those problems have to be addressed by the legislatures, not by the attorneys, whose job is to represent their individual clients. The legislatures are filled with lawyers? I have news for you! Lawyers don’t make up the majority of registered voters! If you don’t want your party to nominate a lawyer, work for the other guy, or run against him yourself, or shut the fuck up if all you’re going to do is bitch and moan about it.

Yes, I know there are plenty of lawyers jokes out there. Almost as many of those as there are stupid moron client stories, and every lawyer has a pile of those. As for being thin skinned about the lawyer jokes, I’m not. However, that doesn’t mean I have to put up with that shit without flaming back on occasion myself.

Dinsdale, after your done licking andros’ bag, not to mention the bags of Manion, Evans, and Williams, you can lick mine too. :stuck_out_tongue:

33

Phil, that’s brilliant! With your permission, I shall use that in my next argument with a dickhead.

Bill, Alan Turing was a British mathematician and computer scientist who proposed a test of machine intelligence: if a computer program could simulate a conversation well enough to fool a human, that machine could reasonably be considered intelligent.
Bill, you have a BS? Where did you go, Wassamatta U.?

34

Well said.

This is what happened to me and remember that Judge was once an attorney. In my case he was also a hometown boy and so is my x. I got screwed by that Judge bigtime and it was no fun at all.

35

From Wildest Bill

Holy Mother of God! I hope you are lying man, otherwise we’ve had it. If this is the way people with (College) degrees represent themselves this country is toast. Typos I can understand (I have plenty of my own), but your posts are very difficult to follow, and I try to read real slow…

36

Trad,

I know, see what I mean I have a good case huh? I mean think about it. I’ll get Aeronsue to be my lead counsel and let 2nd in be the co counsel(afterall he did pick the the name "2nd in law :smiley: ). Then we will pay esprix a 100 big ones to be our expert witness to how crappy my English skills are. We will pick a nice stupid jury that can relate to my attorneys and we will all be rolling in dough. And if we lose, big deal all we got invested is a little time right.

Oh yea, I almost forgot we need to bring as many companies from the people that wrote the books, every school I ever went to, publishing companies, the english teachers, pencil makers, the dean, the paper makers, congress, the house of reps, clinton and all the pass presidents and so and so on as defendents in the suit. You get the idea. Take a deep breath boys and you can just smell all that green money.

Now I got to go wakeboarding but after this case I will be owning a yacht instead of a ski boat. And they have a BIG wake. :smiley:

37

Bill, while the case would be worth billions, considering the obvious failure of the system to teach you how to write a comprehensible sentance, deep pockets and large possible damages doesn’t mean a thing if there’s no liability.
I won’t go into contributory negligence arguements, because they are too obvious.

38

Oh sure Bill, blame some school for the fact that you couldn’t grasp what I assume is your first language.

(How old is Bill, anyway? I hate to say it, but a lot of his arguments [not to mention his grammar] sound like their coming from the 12-18 year old range)

And no-one I know who runs their own business has EVER been sued, let alone numerous times. I believe there is a certain level of responsibility involved in being a business owner, at least part of which should be a significant level of knowledge about legal, ethical and business issues, in order to avoid those nasty little legal entanglements.

Idiot.

39

Oh no! A typo on “their!”

What a stupid bitch! :slight_smile:

40

Go, 2nd Law!!!