Fuck the world, employers, recruiters and me.

The BBQ Pit
1

ARRGGGHHHHH, stupid fucking job search… fists clenching…Rage Growing… Homicide sounding reasonable… Head expoding…Plans for nuclear holocaust revenge scenerio developing.
Part the First: Fuck the world. After working my ass off in college, driving my self to the verge of a nervous breakdown for 4 years it was so nice to find out every goddamn advisior was wrong and that computers was a fucking bad industry to get into. Doubleplus fuck every stupid investor who bought into the dot-com boom, then ran away like a headless chicken on fire, completly destabilizing the computer market. Tripple dog fuck to every idiot decides to downsize without bothering to check that the downsizeees that run the system that allow the company to run, then wonder why they go out of business. And super King Kamehakameha mega fuck to the infinty power to outsourcing :mad: :mad: :mad:

Part the Second: Fuck Employers. Is there an IT hiring manager who has even evolved a brain past an amoeba’s. It was so nice being told that I was accepted for the job, and that I just had to wait for the offical random witchcraft ceremony to determine what I was going to be offered at it would arrive fed ex in two days. It was so much better when I called up five days later to be told that They had decided to go with a last minute candidate, and didn’t tell me. Wasting four days of my life when I could have at least been ditch digging for some food money. And even better to find out the the new candidate was hired because he had 8 years production experience on Oracle 10g. Hey fucking moron hiring guy do you have a clue what you’re hiring for? It’s pretty impressive to have 8 years on a system that has only been out for 2. He’s lying you monumental dumbass. On my next job interview I guess I will have invented UNIX, Oracle, the internet and computers in general and have eleventy billion years experience with everything computer related. And the other guy who took me through three interviews only to decine me because I have no experience on their specific home grown application. Here’s a quick test for next time look at your workstaff records, do I work for you, have I ever? If not they I obviously have never worked on your system, there that saves a week of my ditch digging too. Plus it’s ohh so fun to be drug through interviews on the dog-and-pony show so you can look diligent to your manager, they lying to tear me down so you can do what you were always going to do and hire your nephew Dick(less) Feeblebrain. A total of four weeks wasted over three nepotism incidents.

Part the Third: Fuck recruiters. No I don’t have 10 years experience on SQL server, if I had it would be on my resume, The fucking fact those words don’t appear should be a clue there is no need to get my hopes up and bother me at 6 in the morning. Recruiter Number two, come on down, youre the next contestant on Get a Spiked Railroad Tie Shoved up your Ass. You’re prize winning entry “Screwing up ‘will’ and ‘won’t’” as in the phrases “the company will pay relocation and will consider non local candidates” and " the company won’t pay relocation and won’t consider non-local candidates". A bit of a difference that made everybody feel like a jackass. Actually read those little job-detail notes next time shitstain. And number three moron-of-the-eon candidate, no I don’t believe I’m interested in a six-week- non-extendable-well-under standard-pay contract in the Outer Assboink Archipeligo with no relocation offer. Quick math will show I would lose money on the deal, which is a detering factor for those of us with brains.

Part the Dourth and Final: Fuck me. I never used to panic, but now that I’m desperate I’m a master level panicer. It’s not a particlarly useful evolutionary addaptation to panic when desperate, infact the opposite would be nice. The little “reduce my effective IQ to about 3 when on an interview” game can stop anytime now thank you very much. Knowing a very simple fact 99.9 percent of the time is better when the .1% isn’t while talking to an employer. At various time I have completely blanked on how to create a database user, how to change directory permissions, and how to write a hello world in script in Perl. And ultra fuck me for feeling sorry for myself, it doesn’t help a damn thing, but it comsumes more and more of my life as the unemployed days go by, and makes the panic worse.

2

That’s a lot of fucking.

Hope something breaks for you, man. The being “offered” the job and then not getting bit really sucks in my eyes. Are there recourses a person has for this kind of bullshit?

3

Nice rant. Good rage, liberal use of Fuck, and a sense of humor as well. I give it a solid 8.5 rating.

That said, I’ve been right where you are, in my own field. It sucks donkey dick. Eventually, if you’re diligent in the job search (and it sounds like you are), something good will happen for ya.

4

I seem to recall you are in the Denver area, right? If so, are you a member of the RMIUG mailing list? The Denver area is pretty decent for IT-type jobs, it seems to me, as someone who has interviewed people for three separate positions in the last six months (and this is a small group). What type of position are you looking for?

5

Yeah I know RMIUG, in fact I have it open in another window wating to load a screen which reminds me: Fuck dial-up internet too
Denver has a lot more job seekers than jobs, and it’s going to get much worse when all the Sun guys in broomfield hit the market again.

I’m looking for Jr. DBA or tier 3 app support stuff mostly, but it’s amazing what I have applied to.

6

I feel your pain. At my last interview I completely spaced when asked to explain a LEFT JOIN statement. Never mind that I’ve been using the damn things for eight years at this point, or that I used to routinely take over for the (hypochondriac) instructor who taught the SQL server certification course. Or that I had just come off my other job (at the time), where I had literally been constructing the damn things not half an hour before!

Gah. I hate stress-induced amnesia!

Good luck on the job hunt, man.

–sofaspud

7

Great rant Wolfman and I feel your pain. For the last 3 years I have been telling people not to go into Computers*, the field has dried up from what it was.
There are not a lot of entry-level jobs open currently and I am guessing that recruiters do not want to “Waste their time with you”.
If you are willing to relocate, it should be easier. You can start hitting the national job sites.
What do you consider your specialty or strong areas?

Jim {From 1992 to 1999 every time I went looking for a new job in programming I would get multiple offers to choose from. In the last 5 years, the jobs have been hard to find. I use to get constant calls, now I get a few a year and for jobs out of my desired commuting range}

  • If you are in High School and reading this, consider Nursing or Physical Therapy.
8

Ah, yes. The job search. I recently did three interviews with a company, was basically told I had the job, then AFTER asking repeatedly if my salary requirement was a problem and being told “no”, they finally looked at it, and decided to go with the other candidate who had half my skills, and less than half my experience. Luckily, I’ve been around the block enough to know that until your ass is in the desk seat (offer letter signed or no), you do NOT have the job.

Luckily, too, I have a job I don’t mind. It’s contract work, though, and I want a home. The market only supports contracts at this time, so this was a rare Perm gig.

In other news, the market around here is picking up. At least for the Entry level to 5 year experience group (of which I’m not. sigh) But when they pick up, it usually leads to a need for Leads and Managers to keep them in line. Then I’ll be ready to pounce. gggr!

Keep the faith. Sometimes it’s all we’ve got!

9

I can resonate with this problem. “Preferred candidate will have C++ programming, Cisco Router configuration skills, Oracle DBA experience, and Solaris System Administration experience.” That’s like a hospital looking to hire someone who is a dermatologist, an electrician, a filing clerk, and a janitor.

And yes, I.T. recruiters are the oozing slime of the fucking earth. Wait until you’ve had one cold-call you at work and offer you this amazing job, and it turns out to be for your current employer. Or when they submit you to the same job twice. Or when they submit you for a totally unsuitable job… “They want somebody who knows Oracle… you can do Java, those are both internet things, right?”

10

Or when they submit you without your permission! That’s always a kick. Or tell you, “but so-and-so is willing to work for the price of one peanut per day! Why aren’t you?”

11

Heh. This reminds me of a place I interviewed at several years ago.

My ex-boss worked there, and recommended me for a position. I knew that the place was a stickler for degrees, and I don’t have a computer science degree, so when the HR person called me the first thing I said was “I don’t have a CS degree. If you’re looking for a candidate with one, let’s not waste our time.”

She assured me it was no problem, and I had a phone interview.

A few days later, I get another call, with another phone interview. I asked the same question at the beginning, and was once again reassured that it wasn’t an issue because I was referred by someone in house. We do phone interview #2.

A couple days later, I get another call - they want me to come in for an interview. I mention again I don’t have a degree, and they are fine with that.

I go in for interview. It’s one of those places where I’m interviewed by 4 or 5 different people, one at a time. They go OK, until I get to the last guy, who happened to be the VP.

He comes into the room, sits down, and looks at my resume. He asks a few questions. He then says “You don’t have a degree?” I say no, I don’t. He says “Well, you’re not qualified for this position. Maybe we can find something for you in QA.” :smack:

He then went on to ask my salary history. I gave it to him, even though I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be offered a job. When I told him my salary at my last job, he looked at me with a weird look. “That’s a lot.” he says.

I didn’t know what to say. I mumbled something about it being a standard salary.

“Not here it’s not. Are you sure that was your salary?”

WTF? He’s accusing me of lying? “Yes,” I say, “I’m sure it was my salary. My ex-boss works right down the hall. If you think I’m lying, go ask him.”

I walked out, and found another job that didn’t care that I didn’t have a degree, and that wasn’t so out of touch with local salaries that the accused me of lying.

12

I’ve got a friend that works in IT/tech support in the Denver area. Email’s in the profile if you want me to drop her a line and see if she’s heard of anything open.

13

I’ll keep you in mind, too, if I hear of any open positions at my company, as long as you don’t mind a commute to the Tech Center.

14

Good Lord. What a shitstorm you’ve been in. Best of luck with it all.

15

Yeah, most IT recruiters completely and totally suck. Specifically, RHI and Tek Systems. On my last job search, RHI submitted me for:

A position that was a three hour commute. They then said “Well, you could move there.”

A position that was 100% Unix shop. I know some Unix, but I’m an Exchange/Windows/Cisco guy.

A position at a helpdesk. Yep, I’ll move back to the beginning of my career, sure.

A programming job. Um, I don’t code. Nothing against it, but I know nothing of C++.

Tek Systems, on the other hand, just got mad when I took a job at a company. “We could’ve submitted you for that!” Then why didn’t you?

In short, they suck.