ARRGGGHHHHH, stupid fucking job search… fists clenching…Rage Growing… Homicide sounding reasonable… Head expoding…Plans for nuclear holocaust revenge scenerio developing.
Part the First: Fuck the world. After working my ass off in college, driving my self to the verge of a nervous breakdown for 4 years it was so nice to find out every goddamn advisior was wrong and that computers was a fucking bad industry to get into. Doubleplus fuck every stupid investor who bought into the dot-com boom, then ran away like a headless chicken on fire, completly destabilizing the computer market. Tripple dog fuck to every idiot decides to downsize without bothering to check that the downsizeees that run the system that allow the company to run, then wonder why they go out of business. And super King Kamehakameha mega fuck to the infinty power to outsourcing :mad: :mad: :mad:
Part the Second: Fuck Employers. Is there an IT hiring manager who has even evolved a brain past an amoeba’s. It was so nice being told that I was accepted for the job, and that I just had to wait for the offical random witchcraft ceremony to determine what I was going to be offered at it would arrive fed ex in two days. It was so much better when I called up five days later to be told that They had decided to go with a last minute candidate, and didn’t tell me. Wasting four days of my life when I could have at least been ditch digging for some food money. And even better to find out the the new candidate was hired because he had 8 years production experience on Oracle 10g. Hey fucking moron hiring guy do you have a clue what you’re hiring for? It’s pretty impressive to have 8 years on a system that has only been out for 2. He’s lying you monumental dumbass. On my next job interview I guess I will have invented UNIX, Oracle, the internet and computers in general and have eleventy billion years experience with everything computer related. And the other guy who took me through three interviews only to decine me because I have no experience on their specific home grown application. Here’s a quick test for next time look at your workstaff records, do I work for you, have I ever? If not they I obviously have never worked on your system, there that saves a week of my ditch digging too. Plus it’s ohh so fun to be drug through interviews on the dog-and-pony show so you can look diligent to your manager, they lying to tear me down so you can do what you were always going to do and hire your nephew Dick(less) Feeblebrain. A total of four weeks wasted over three nepotism incidents.
Part the Third: Fuck recruiters. No I don’t have 10 years experience on SQL server, if I had it would be on my resume, The fucking fact those words don’t appear should be a clue there is no need to get my hopes up and bother me at 6 in the morning. Recruiter Number two, come on down, youre the next contestant on Get a Spiked Railroad Tie Shoved up your Ass. You’re prize winning entry “Screwing up ‘will’ and ‘won’t’” as in the phrases “the company will pay relocation and will consider non local candidates” and " the company won’t pay relocation and won’t consider non-local candidates". A bit of a difference that made everybody feel like a jackass. Actually read those little job-detail notes next time shitstain. And number three moron-of-the-eon candidate, no I don’t believe I’m interested in a six-week- non-extendable-well-under standard-pay contract in the Outer Assboink Archipeligo with no relocation offer. Quick math will show I would lose money on the deal, which is a detering factor for those of us with brains.
Part the Dourth and Final: Fuck me. I never used to panic, but now that I’m desperate I’m a master level panicer. It’s not a particlarly useful evolutionary addaptation to panic when desperate, infact the opposite would be nice. The little “reduce my effective IQ to about 3 when on an interview” game can stop anytime now thank you very much. Knowing a very simple fact 99.9 percent of the time is better when the .1% isn’t while talking to an employer. At various time I have completely blanked on how to create a database user, how to change directory permissions, and how to write a hello world in script in Perl. And ultra fuck me for feeling sorry for myself, it doesn’t help a damn thing, but it comsumes more and more of my life as the unemployed days go by, and makes the panic worse.