Fuck YOU, Carnival Cruise Lines!!

The BBQ Pit
1

Really, Carnival? Fucking REALLY?

So…it’s not like we live in an information era or anything, so understandably so many, MANY people are unaware that climate change is happening and the ocean ISN’T actually a huge garbage dump.

So these motherfuckers get nailed in 2017 with a $40 million dollar fine (which seems light in, well, in light of the current state of the environment) for illegally dumping oil contaminated waste and then falsifying logs to cover it up.

They were also “sentenced” to 5 years of supervised probation of their operations. So now, these motherfuckers now admit to six violations of their probation, INCLUDING deliberately dumping fucking PLASTIC waste into Bahamian waters. And then trying to cover it up. Again.

Now they’re hit with another $20 million fine (again, too light) and have reached what seems to be an undisclosed settlement with the US Justice Department.

Best quote from the government (bolding mine): “A corporation is responsible to its shareholders and board of directors to be profitable, but not by breaking the law and destroying the very environment in which it navigates for profit,” US Attorney for the Southern District of Florida, Ariana Fajardo Orshan, said in a statement.

Oh yeah, and as part of this supervised probation, Carnival sent teams of employees to help evade the government audits. When they were caught doing so, they did it again! What the everloving fuck? These crooks are getting off easy! Impound their fleet, seize their assets, make them spend a billion dollars cleaning up a part of the ocean…SOMETHING!! Right?

Carnival’s new mission statement from the article linked below: “Carnival Corporation remains committed to environmental excellence and protecting the environment in which we live, work, and travel. Our aspiration is to leave the places we touch even better than when we first arrived.”

LOLOLOLOLOL. Is anyone taking this seriously? And what scares me more than anything, is if they’re doing it, then so many other ships from so many other countries, cruise liners or not…are ALSO doing it. Some discharge (human waste, grey water, etc) is par for the course, but not this shit. No fucking wonder there’s a garbage continent growing in the Pacific, and that microplastics are in all our food an now in us too. But who cares, right? PROFIT!

So fuck you Carnival Cruise Lines, I hope your ships burn…in dry dock.

2

I’ll share your outrage, but at the same time, if eating more seafood means some extra hydrocarbons to lubricate this hip of mine, I think I’ll start buying more fish sticks…

3

If only we could direct those helpful nano-plastics on where to go and what to do, we’d be golden!

4

It’s not like going on a cruise isn’t already a horrifyingly bad choice for your carbon footprint when you factor in flying to wherever you board … No, way, it is.

5

Rant supported. Fuck those guys. But my question: Just a fine? Even Arlo Guthrie had to go pick the fucking garbage up. Make the top dogs at the company put on some fuckin scuba gear and get to work.

6

I support this rant.

Make the CEO and BoD get out there and clean a ton of ocean garbage each.

7

Bill Burr (whom I find immensely funny) has a FINAL SOLUTION for cruise ship-goers:

I completely agree, which is why in the OP I suggested they spend orders of magnitude more money being forced to clean something verifiable in the ocean up. Fuck, all for profit shipping companies caught dumping illegal waste should. We’re out of fucking time and options. Roll back the clock as much as you can, clean up as much as you can, stop emitting as much as you can, stop polluting as much as you can, etc. We’re probably only prolonging the inevitable at this point and that’s EVEN IF all countries and humans cooperate. They won’t.

8

The problem is too much government oversite. If there were less regulations and government intrusion, these companies would do the right thing.

9

I’ma sacrifice myself on the altar of Poe and ask if that’s likely to happen BEFORE or AFTER [doing] “the right thing” will make a difference (it’s a foregone conclusion that it won’t happen before the wrong thing’s effect on the bottom line starts to be harmful).

10

Hey, I can just repeat the mantra, I can’t explain it!

11

But they have belly-flop and hairy chest competitions!
mmm

12

How many spilled margaritas salvaged by navel drinking stories can one stand?

13

As my friends in the industry say: Due to Carnival’s attractive prices and the you-get-what-you-pay-for results, Carnival is everyone’s first choice and nobody’s second.

14

I don’t know but I am ready to find out!

15

The real solution is that people realize that cruises are stupid and stop going on them.

16

Well alright, but how about in the meantime we hold them responsible for paying a fine and picking up the garbage?

17

The fines should be much steeper. Apparently, their company culture is rife with non-compliance and cover-up.

18

Of course. The inaction thus far has been absolutely ridiculous. I’m guessing they consider the fines “cost of doing business” and see no reason to change their process.

19

They might think differently when you put the CEO in a wetsuit and tell him to get to work. Worth a try, I say.

20

If you didn’t know this, Carnival is more than Carnival. Carnival (the corporation) owns the following cruise lines

Carnival
Princess
Seabourn
Holland America
P&O
Cunard
AIDA
Costa

http://www.carnivalcorp.com/phoenix.zhtml?c=200767&p=irol-prlanding