Goddamned Stupid Crammed-In-the-Left-Front-Bumper Batteries.
Oh, and give me goddamned amp, volt, oil pressure and oil temp guages, you shitheads.
Fucking car drops d-e-a-d in the 3rd lane of a major highway, AAA flatbeds me to a generic parts superstore, where they have a replacement battery, but I have to replace it?!
And how, might you ask, does one replace this fucker? And without a lift?
Step 1) Jack up the car, in the lot.
Step 2) Remove the front left tire.
Step 3) Remove all the weird housing/shroud bits that seal the tire from the rest of the car. This involves guessing the sizes of the assorted bits, screw and bolts.
Step 4) Unbolt the d-e-a-d battery, again guessing the sizes of the assorted fucking bits, screws and bolts.
Step 5) Wrestle the dead battery out of its’ Goddamned Stupid Crammed-In-the-Left-Front-Bumper-Cavity.
Step 6) Stick the new, not-dead goddamned battery into the Goddamned Stupid Crammed-In-the-Left-Front-Bumper-Cavity.
Step 7) Replace all of the assorted fucking screws, bits and bolts.
Step 8) Replace the left tire.
Step 9) Get the Alternator checked later.
Step 10) Have my usual place tighten up the shroud/shielding for the Goddamned Stupid Crammed-In-the-Left-Front-Bumper-Cavity.
Well, that was fun. Really, Chrysler, is this how you instill user loyalty?!