CU Boulder, CU Boulder’s Norlin Scholars, CU’s PLC, and even the Byron White memorial scholarship, yes you too, and finally, Yale and the College Board, go fuck yourselves with sharp pointy objects!
First, a little background on myself
AP’s:6 grades of five so far, four more tests this spring, and one post AP at CU Denver
Sports: Varsity Cross Country, Varsity Track 3200 and 1600, Triathlon (up to half-Iron) on my own, and cycling
Community Service: A youth search and rescue group, an EMT-B standard of care training, 20-120+ hours/month
Work Experience: Tutoring experience, and a two month stint at Banana Republic (okay, among my less impressive achievments)
Clubs: I’m no resume-padding clubbing bastard.
I felt pretty confident going into this year that I would do well on my whole college application deal.
CU Boulder: I got accepted. That’s not a bad start. But oh, you’re precious little honors programs!!! So, let’s get started.
Norlin Scholars ($2000/year scholarship): 30 applicants accepted. I have been made an alternate, selection depending upon Norlin’s goals of maintaining “a diverse representation of majors.” Well if I had known that, I would have said I was seeking a B.A. in Drama. I wonder if I should call the director back and make a deal, I’ll do a drama degree if he picks me for an open slot.
President’s Leadership Class ($2000/year scholarship+some special PLC classes for elective credit): 120 interviews, 60 selected. I’m again an alternate. They assure me in the letter it is a short list. I doubt it.
Byron White Memorial Scholarship (Justice B. White, you know the only CU grad you’ve ever heard of, supreme court justice; $5000/year): One of five interviews (probably the only five who applied). This time, I got a call back in person. I am an amazing, talented, promising, beautiful, thoughful person. I also didn’t get the scholarship. Sure, there was only one, but it still sucks.
Yale: Rejected. Nothing more to it. Oh, but I did spent $65 applying.
College Board: Charged me $17 to essentially re-fill out FAFSA and send it to Yale, plus another $6 for scores for tests which I already paid over $50 to take. Plus the $500+ I have spent/will spend on AP Exams.
More than angry, I’m sad. This whole process has been depressing. I am, unfortunately, not, a Unique and Delicate Snowflake™.
Perhaps I am taking this whole thing a little too personally. True, I could have and should have worked a bit harder in some situations in high school, but overall I was proud of what I had accomplished. I probably shouldn’t have cried when I heard back from Yale. Or PLC. Not Norlin. Certainly not Byron White. But really, I’m sick of being rejected again and again. If another person/letter/website compliments me on my outstanding achievements, telling me that I could almost doubtlessly benefited from what the program had to offer; yet, I simply wasn’t quite good enough, didn’t quite make, The Cut, I’m gonna lose it. I thought it would be easy. It was CU. I was sure I could sail into one end and out the other in two and a half years. I assumed they would get upon their knees and beg me to grace their humble campus with my inspiring presence. Why should I have to pay tuition to attend this simple little state school?
I was wrong. I hate this process, and I hate myself for failing at it.