Let’s do a simple “biology lesson” eh? The male organ is like a “piston”. It’s job is to cause friction, and essentially suck away the mucus membrane on the cervix, thus enabling easier access to the uterus for the sperm. In many cases, this is what a female orgasm essentially is, the uterine muscles throb, the cervix “softens” and releases the mucus membrane. When combined with mental/emotional stimulation from a mutual partner, this is a positive thing. (It’s still possible for women who have had hysterectomies to orgasm, though it’s “different”. It’s also safe for pregnant women to have intercourse in most cases.)
It’s not a matter of “enjoyment” on any level when/if a female “orgasms” during a rape, it’s a matter of basic, primitive function. The event brings no mental or emotional pleasure, and it does not register as pleasure to the person being raped, it registered to me as “pain”. Defense lawyers bring this up as a way to discredit the person who was raped. They hope to cloud the jury’s minds and win their case. They hope the jury will think as you do. They hope to fluster the witness, and win their case.
Rape is more about messing with the victim’s mind and causing them to question their very sanity. It makes them feel as though they have no control over anything in their lives, even their own bodily functions. It’s about the taking, forcibly of power.
I’ve been raped more than once, in more than one degree. None of them ever brought me “pleasure” and though on one occaision, my body functioned as it should, it HURT. I wept.
For you to even think such a thing, in my mind convices me that you’ve SAID it to a person that you were forcing your will on. I bet you don’t think you did anything wrong either, bet you feel it was somehow "owed’ you. :dubious: This is my own opinion, and not a reflection of what the site owner’s think.
I was creating a longish post to say that those wishing harm on Hydro were doing so in the gyst that by his deffinition of Rape these things suggested were not Rape. And so no one is suggesting Rape against him.
Though I think sying things against his mother was completely uncalled for and vile.
But during the research, I see he’s been banned, so just to say good riddance.
If people believe that the suggestion was so idiotic that hydro himself probably did not believe it (as was suggested by Gaudere, and possibly others) then he was trolling and I can understand all the anger. But other people seem to believe that he is genuinely ignorant of what the big deal of rape is (I incline to this view myself) and in this case, why all the anger? Is there something morally wrong with being ignorant about rape?
A guy said something extremely stupid. Explain why it is stupid, congratulate yourself on having fought some ignorance, and move on.
Zabali_Clawbane, you’re more of a lady than I could ever be.
Congratulations for being so eloquent while having your wounds opened once again by what is no less than an anonymous monster venting some kind of venom, for some unknown reason. You’ve expressed it all as retracted and objectively as one in your position possibly could. Teaches me to bring my chin up a notch.
You surely have the same scars, but they are less apparent than mine. Good job on your recovery. Nothing more I can say.
I understand where you’re coming from, Jeff. I really do. But unless you’ve gone through it, you can’t possibly imagine how deep Hydro’s comments run. Empathy cannot equal vicariousness in this situation! Zabali is truly a lady and obviously has dealt with the situation much better than I have.
Mind you, it happened 18 years ago and I don’t think of it much. I know it happened in my life but it doesn’t affect my day-to-day life. What it affects is when I run into such a callous monster who suggests not only to DISREGARD this VIOLATION, but to ENJOY it.
That’s right over the top; I’m sorry. No ifs ands or buts about it.
MAZAL TOV TO THE MOD WHO BANNED HIM!
Thank you very much!
So who gets to start up the “Why in the world was Hydrocortisone banned?!?” thread?
DISCLAIMER: In no way, shape or form do I believe such a thread should be started, as it’s perfectly clear to any creature beyond the intellect of lint why our numbing little friend has been banished.
Since this thread is still open for the time being…let me ask those who have posted that survived a rape a question that I’ve often wondered…
Do you find it offensive or does it make you feel like your experience is made somewhat trivial when those who experienced date rape or something of that nature claim to have been raped? (Maybe I’m not phrasing that adequately)
For example, when I was 18 years old I left a bar with a guy I had recently met. There is some evidence that my drinks that night had something in them but I can’t prove that. I remember very little about that night. I woke up the next morning, not knowing where I was and very cold. I found my clothes scattered around the room and I felt horrible. I don’t remember hardly anything that happened. This was the first time I had ever had sex and it definitely colored my attitude about sex for many years.
However, I would never claim to have been raped, as to me, my experience was not nearly as traumatic and horrific as rape is (at least in my mind). And I bore at least some of the responsibility for my actions that night leading up to what happened.
I think you’re just as much of a victim as someone who had a stranger jump out of the bushes. There’s still trauma. There’s still shame. There’s still the feeling that it was somehow your fault.
Some people feel that I wasn’t actually raped, because my attacker also happend to be my boyfriend. Personally, I think being held down, threatened with violence and raped is actually worse when the perpetrator is someone who claims to “love you”, however, I recognize that my opinion may be biased.
If your date spiked your drinks and took you someplace to have sex with you that is indeed rape. He took away your ability to consent through drugs and alcohol. It may not be as physically violent as being dragged into an alley at knifepoint but it is still rape.
Just because you feel your experience wasn’t as bad as someone else’s that doesn’t make what happened to you right nor does it negate your right to be angry or hurt or whatever other emotions you might have over the event.
The issue is whether it was consensual or not, and whether you were unfairly and unkowingly denied the ability to not give consent.
If you’re drugged without your knowledge so that you can’t resist at all, or you said ‘No’ (whether male or female) and the other person (male or female) goes ahead with it, it’s rape.
If (as I’ve done at least once) you are male or female and you, through your own choices, become extremely intoxicated and make a bad choice, then maybe you still regret it and still feel ashamed, but IMO, it’s not a rape.
To me, it’s about choice. Those couple of ‘I got extremely drunk and did something extremely stupid and don’t remember a lot of it.’ were, although I kick my ass for it sometimes, matters of my own choice, and I can blame only myself for choosing poorly.
Other people might feel differently, and I am not a legal expert, so I don’t know where the law in all fifty states stands on that.
We might not always agree, catsix, but I think here you nailed it.
While I am lucky having never been raped, it seems common sense could explain why someone MIGHT have an orgasm during rape-one’s nerve endings do not have emotions. The nerves may respond a certain way, but that doesn’t mean you’re ENJOYING it, for crissakes.
I mean, it seems like a no brainer for me. For example-when someone tickles me, I kick. I cannot control it. I don’t want to hurt someone, but once my friend tried to tickle me and I kicked her in the stomach. I felt bad, but my BODY did this purely as reflex.
To ask why rape is worse, I would imagine because sex, unlike a punch in the face, is not supposed to be about hurting someone. It’s supposed to be about pleasure. And turning around and using it as a weapon is perverse and totally violating what it’s all about.
It’s not about sex, per se-but it IS using sex as a weapon. As another tool to control and hurt someone.
