So, I quit smoking 2 weeks ago. It’s been incredibly tough to go these two weeks without smoking, but I’ve done it. Tonight, I decided to go into my local watering hole.
Anyway, it’s a bar where everybody knows everybody, so even though I haven’t been there for two weeks, everyone knows I’ve quit smoking.
So, what do a few people decide to do? Offer me cigarettes. Haw, haw, haw! That’s hysterical. One guy even tried to shove a cigarette into my mouth. And then a little while later, he tried to shove a lit cigarette into my mouth.
Now, I know some ex-smokers can be a pain. I totally wasn’t like that. People were smoking around me, and I know fully well that if I have a problem with it, it’s my problem. What I don’t need is fucking people trying to purposely get me to start smoking again.
I knew a guy a long time ago who told me that anytime you try to change your life or improve yourself in any way, most people will try to stand in your way and bring you down. I didn’t believe him at the time, but after tonight, I know what he was talking about.
In short, if someone is trying to quit smoking, leave them the fuck alone!
I went through the same thing at work when I quit. Some smokers are threatened by people who quit - they want them to fail so they don’t feel so bad about smoking. Then they can say, see, he tried to quit and failed! There’s no use in me trying to quit, then! I have found that those who want you to fail secretly wish they could quit too. The best way to get back at them is to succeed.
It is really annoying, but you’ll look like the better person when you succeed. Good luck!
I suppose an analogy might be a heroin addict offering a syringe to someone who’s stopped doing that drug. The nature of physical and/or psychological addiction means they just don’t get it and don’t want to get it - nicotine addicts are as self-deluded/as ‘in denial’ as any other druggies, IMHO.
So I guess it’s just difficult blaming people who’ve lost some perspective to the drug.
But you’ve seen the light, dude – just be aware; don’t let these victims act as a weak-moment excuse for you allowing the drug claw you back.
I’m not sure I agree with this analysis, but I’m not sure I disagree either. But I know that when people close to me say they are going to quit, my gut reaction is to want to keep them from doing so. I guess it’s because of the implication that I will, myself, be forced somehow to modify my own behavior.
Somewhat related, I think it’s funny how some people consider drug use to be antisocial behavior. Bullshit. Drug users are some of the most social people I know. They have a sense of community and sharing that goes far beyond anyone else. My own friends are constantly trying to get me to partake in their friendly ritual of passing the pipe.
I don’t know if you caught the story of the Robbie Williams concert in San Francisco. The line he sings in ‘Angels’ (I think) about “ . . .my mouth smells of a thousand fags . . . “ got the cheer of the century, apparently.
I’m not saying that all smokers feel that way. It was my experience.
When I was still a smoker I was threatened by people who quit, too. I wanted to quit, but wanted to smoke. (Smokers will hopefully understand what I mean by that!) I was envious of people who quit, but I wasn’t ready to quit yet, and that created a kind of self-hatred I didn’t want to deal with. It was more comfortable to be with people who still wanted to smoke.
Vegetarian friends tell me they have the same problem: Not only do they get ragged about being a vegetarian, people will often try to sneak meat into their meals. It seems like some sort of competition: If they can get you to eat meat/smoke, they’ve won.
The same thing happened when I quit drinking. Although this is probably a different dynamic altogether, many of my drinking friends felt threatened. “Self hatred” may be close to the mark, Velma. I’m pretty sure my drinking friends felt that I was judging them by not drinking: “I don’t want to be like you.”
Although I never caught any flack when I quit smoking (man, I don’t do anything any more). What jerks, especially when you’re dying for a cigarette anyway.
I’ve heard it called “crab in a bucket” syndrome. When one crab tries to crawl up out of a bucket, the rest all try and drag him back in. Make better friends and dump these loser assholes. You don’t need them.
I know we’re coming from the same place as former smokers ourselves, my friend, but I have to disagree with this. While nicotine and heroine are indeed both drugs, I don’t believe for a moment that smokers “lose perspective to the drug”. To me, that implies some degree of “mind altering” and while addiction to nicotine is as much psychological as physical, it doesn’t in any way affect how the brain works or perceives things, like heroine does.
And also, as a fellow former smoker, I can attest that I was never in denial or deluded myself in any way. And I would never, ever, ever taunt, tease or cajole a former smoker just because I was still addicted to it, myself. I dunno, maybe I was always just the most polite smoker on the planet, but I never smoked in people’s homes or cars or around their children. I sat in the non-smoking sections of restaurants with non-smokers instead of making them accomodate me. Hell, I didn’t even smoke in my own home if I had a guest who didn’t smoke.
I don’t think the behaviour of BrightNShiny’s friends had anything to do with smoking or nicotine affecting their perspective. I think they’re just self-centered, rude individuals and would have behaved the same way under similar other circumstances, as well. Some people are pricks, whether they smoke or not. They definitely get the “blame” for their cruel and selfish behaviour. Being a nicotine addict does not give them a pass on moral and socially acceptable behaviour.
Had it been me, I’d’ve taken that lit cigarette and proceeded to put it out in the hand or arm of the asswipe who tried to shove it in my face!
Congrats, BrightNShiny, on giving up the death weed! Best of luck to you in your continued success!
Shayna, who’s been one year, three weeks, 10 hours, 5 minutes and 18 seconds without a cigarette!
What a bunch of loser friends you have. I stopped smoking 1 year 12 days and 15 hours ago and am loving every minute of it. My clothes smell good, as does my hair and my house, I’ve cut my risk of cancer and heart disease, my 6 month old baby boy doesn’t get ear infections like his older brother did… the list goes on and on. I applaude you on your effort to quit and wish you the best of luck. Do like I did and take the money you would have spent on cigs, stick it in a piggy bank, and go on vacation on your one year anniversary. This is one decision you will NEVER regret!
Sounds to me like you need new friends. I’ve never smoked but watched a couple of friends trying to quit; I can’t imagine how anybody would be that cruelly stupid.
Either this behaviour among meat-eaters is blown out of all proportion to its actual occurrence, or i just choose my friends with more care than other people, because i’ve been a vegetarian for over ten years and never once has anyone tried anything like this. I couldn’t imagine anyone i that i would call a friend doing it, either.
And the only people that have ever ragged on me to eat meat are my Hungarian aunt and her son (my cousin). Now, if anyone has family from Eastern Europe, you’ll know that sitting down to any meal without at least one kind of dead animal is incomprehensible to them.* She’s constantly trying to get me to revert to eating meat, although she would never, ever give me food with meat in it and tell me it was vegetarian.
Overgeneralization for rhetorical purposes only. Do not try this at home.
If someone tried to force me to smoke a cigarette, I would react much the same way as if someone tried to forcibly inject me with heroin. It’s an attempted violation of bodily integrity; that’s assault or battery, IMHO, and the OP should have the perpetrator arrested.