Fuck You Jar Jar Binks

Fuck You Jar Jar Binks, Fuck You Jar Jar Binks and die. I hope you get cancer. I hope you get cancer in the head. I hope aliens come out of your chest

I’ve just been watching some trailers of Episode II, poetically named: The attack of the clones. I’m told fucking Jar Jar in the ass Binks is not going to be in it. But you can rest assured that the whore George Lucas is going to put a funny, family friendly, assramming muppet in it and make more profit selling the dolls than from the fucking movie.

Anyone want’s a McStarwars happymeal with Bar Bar Jinx.

Er, you DO know he’s not real, right?

You know, I just try to not let things like this bother me.

Wishing cancer on a animatron is just too much work.


So don’t watch the movie. Buy a copy of A New Hope on DVD, and jack off to Wet Leia In The Compactor all you want. (Oh, sorry, that’s me.)

Meesa Jar-Jar will be in Ep 2, BYW.

Oh, sure he’s not real, Jar-Jar BabyJ.

We know you’re not really a computer simulation. You’re an out-of-work Chicago actress desperately trying to hold on to the tail of the cash cow, aren’t you?

And people complained my hip hop thread was unoriginal.

Hmm, obsessing about an animated character months before Ep 2 is released. OK, I’m thinking adolescent male with limited social skills, probably pasty and overweight from too much Final Fantasy and a wicked HoHo jones, no girlfriend, gets picked on a lot by jocks.

Maybe a closet queen, to boot.

OTOH, I agree Jar Jar was a mystifyingly bad character to waste so much screen time on.

Plus, I was watching the “secret” trailer unlocked by my friend’s DVD, and I swear you can see the back of his strange little head in one of the clips. We have not seen the last of the jar-jar-baby (with obvious apologies).

An interesting idea, and certainly not mine, is that Jar is the Luke Skywalker of this trilogy: annoying and strident at the beginning, he will slowly journey to dark and brooding, becoming an anarchist with an appreciation for the taste of blood.

It would almost redeem him.

BACK of his head? Hell, go to this page, click the big pretty Star Wars picture, pick your trailer size, and look to the left about 20 seconds in. You’ll see his slimy Gungan face plain as day.

Well I went, and now I’m even more pissed off. But I didn’t see our Gungan pal. Maybe I’ve just blocked him out.

I did see about fifty seconds of dew-kissed romantic melodrama. It reminds me of the affleck-and-tyler-fall-in-love montage from Armageddon. Is this the female 18-35 trailer?

Not to impugn females 18-35, as they are my, er, key demographic. And data suggests they respond well to backpedaling.

Hate to be a dick, but it’s my understanding that during the events of Ep2 Jar-Jar is serving as a Senator from Naboo.

Unverified, AFAIK, but seriously scary.

NOT worth spewing the OP’s brand of bile over, but to each his own.

Nah. Don’t you all know that Jar Jar is really Darth Sideous? The movie makes so much more sense that way.

Please, people… You know that episode 2 is Attack of the Clones, just who exactly do you think they’re clones of? Can you imagine a more terrifying foe than a thousand mini Jar-Jar’s?

Y’know, I was just watching TPM last night, cataloging all the screwups, fuckups, and annoying tidbits (did you know that the word “yippee” is used four times in the move?!?), and I just have to mention that I have to cringe each and every time Jar Jar says or does anything. Jesus fucking Chris, did Lucas think that people would actually ENJOY this hideous montage of Shaggy crossed with Daffy Duck? It’s bad enough that he had to include Artoo and Threepio in the whole thing, it’s bad enough that he had to fuck up the continuity of the movie, and it’s bad enough that, for some reason, Natalie Portman was unable to act (what’s up with THAT? We know she can do better!).

Let’s face it. George Lucas, despite his supposed dislike of Hollywood, is a sell-out.

Man, I’m STILL so pissed about the royal castration of a film that is Episode 1 that I misspelled both “movie” and “Christ”.

. . I was waiting for Cnote to show up and read you the riot act for spilling the beans about him and Jesus.

Not giving a shit about George Lucas makes life a breeze.

My big problem with JJB was that Lucas introduced him as comic relief, when there really wasn’t that much tension to relieve.

Uh-oh! Anakin’s in trouble! Will he survive? Um, yep.
Uh-oh! Obi-Wan’s in trouble! Will he survive? Um, yep.
Uh-oh! Qui-gon’s in trouble! Will he survive? Um, nope.

Rinse, repeat as needed.

Why do you suppose I get the feeling that at least 90% of the people who bitch and moan ad nauseum about Lucas and Jar Jar will pay to go see both Episode 2 AND 3? Perhaps even multiple times. (And I’m fairly certain Jar Jar will be in Episode 2… I read in a Lucas interview that he said JJ plays a role, but doesn’t appear as much as in the previous film.)

AFAIC, this is Lucas’s brainchild, his to do with as he pleases. I mean, it’s a friggin’ movie (and a sci-fi/fantasy one at that), not the Constitution. Yea, I really like the franchise. Yea, Jar Jar (and Ewoks, et al.) are kinda lame IMHO. But sheesh, enough already.

Why do we get so worked up over such trivial things? If they piss you off so much, don’t go see the movies.