Fuck you, Neways, and all your damn disciples

The BBQ Pit
1

I get this email from a girl I used to know in a chat room years ago. We never send regular emails to each other and haven’t chatted in years. I don’t think she’s in my address book.

Anyhow, she sends out a link to this article to apparently every woman in her email address book saying that she was “concerned” and that we should “take a look at it.”

So I read this longass article claiming that there’s a chemical in products that I use that can cause birth defects and for the love of God I should print out their handy-dandy little shopping list and only buy stuff that supposedly doesn’t have this particular chemical in it.

I poke around the website a bit more (www.nottoopretty.com) and lo and behold, there’s a list of companies that supposedly sell “safe” products.

And then I remember that a long time ago I got an email from this same girl … some rambling yarn about how she was selling stuff for Neways and my ADHD was probably caused by the cleaning products I use around the house and blah blah blah.

Sonofabitch! Let me get this straight, Mrs. Neways Convert: you’re gonna send me, a person you don’t even talk to anymore, this longass spiel filled with scare tactics under the guise of being “concerned?” You’re not fucking concerned. You’re looking to make a sale and drag me into your fucking pyramid scheme. No thanks. I watched Amway ruin a family, there’s no way in hell I’m gonna join your little cult.

Maybe the products are good. I knew a guy involved in another scheme, Equinox, that made the best damn shampoo I’ve ever used. But do NOT fucking try to scare me into trying whatever it is you’re pushing. I don’t believe for a second that using Aqua Net hairspray is going to give my next baby a birth defect.

What really pisses me off the most is that:

  1. Pyramid schemes like this one prey on people who are usually very honest, upstanding individuals.

  2. Women especially fall for shit like this hook line and sinker.

  3. These same women, once they’re brainwashed, try to bring other women into their madness. MLMers are some of the most conniving people I have personally ever seen! They’ll say ANYTHING to get you to go to a meeting, or try their stuff, etc. etc.

RAR!!!

Ok I’m done now. And I’m blocking your email, bitch.

2

Give 'em hell! Don’t worry, I’ve seen plenty of men fall for the same bullshit scams (usually insurance or some such), so don’t be down on your sistahs.

3

If that name is pronounced “anyways”, she should burn in hell.

Twice.

4

Did her email to you include all the other addresses she sent it to? Do a “reply all” and give it a thorough debunking. Take all the bitch’s business away from her…at least it’ll stop her from sending you all that crap in the future.