So I’m in a Bally’s Fitness Center yesterday afternoon (I know, Bally’s sux, but it’s cheap and close to my apartment), going nowhere fast on one of those exercise bikes, watching the Olympics on a TV suspended from the ceiling, and women’s weightlifting comes on. Cheryl Haworth is up; at age 17 she’s the youngest member of the US women’s weightlifting team. She’s also 5’-10", 316 pounds. “Wow,” I think. Then she clean-and-jerks 145 kg, which is something like 320 pounds, and wins the bronze medal. “Damn,” I think. A tough girl. Two middle-aged guys are standing a couple of feet from me. “That’s scary!” one says. “That’s like lifting a refrigerator,” the other says. “Yeah, it looks like she just ate the contents of the fridge, too!” Says the first. They laugh. I say nothing, but glance sidelong at their balding pates and their bulging bellies and wonder when they last lifted anything heavier than a chicken wing or their own dicks. Fuckers. Oh well.
Later, I’m home watching Olympic highlights, hosted by Jim Lampley. An abbreviated version of women’s weightlifting comes on. Cheryl Haworth is on again. NBC runs one of those bios about her; she lives in Savannah, Georgia, which gives that insipid fucker Lampley the opportunity to say “Well, Cheryl Haworth may not be a Georgia peach, but she’s a bronze medal winner!” My jaw drops. Nice going, asshole, thanks for ruining what was a nice story. Why not just say “Yes, we here at NBC think she’s fat and ugly but she won a medal so we have to cover her!!” Who are you to judge beauty or athletic achievement, you smarmy, lacquer-headed bastard? Stupid fuck! Why did you have to say that? You never hear “Well, he’s an ugly sonofabitch but he won the silver” or “His dick looks tiny in those swimming trunks but he just set a world-record!” Fucking Lampley. Fucking network. Fucking people.
Is that sad or what? It’s even sadder when women to it to each other. I think you should write a nasty-gram to NBC, myself. “Not a Georgia peach”. Fuck you! Maybe she’ll see the coverage and drop kick the asshole who spewed that garbage. Or shove a Georgia peach up his ass.
Shit!!! I wish I knew how to post links. Please, if you want to see what that prick Lampley should have said, go to the Miami Herald website (www.miamiherald, I think) and then got to sports, then columnist Dan Le Batard. His article is wonderful!!! (If someone who knows how to set up the link would do so, you would be doing us all a great favor. This article deserves to be read).
Cheryl Haworth should read it aloud to Lampley and then drop a barbell on him. Only she is so nice, she probably won’t. If I could lift weights, I would volunteer to do it for her.
All sports announcers occasionaly show a degeree of assholism from time to time, but this one looks like the main hemeroid hanging out of the asshole. No excuse for it.
Yikes! Actual acknowledgement by NAME and-gasp-thanks from other posters!! Whoohoo, I feel validated.
Seriously, I am glad you liked the article. I thought it was wonderful. I was even inspired to email the columnist. I will let you know if he responds.
I happened to see the lamprey doing the indignant Monday-morning quarterback thing while discussing a tie between the US women & China in soccer. He had a former US coach on & he was second-guessing the coaching decisions related to a missed penalty kick & giving up the tying goal.
He came off as a whining asshole who thinks he knows a lot, but in reality illustrates the adage: A little knowledge is a dangerous thing.