Yeah, it’ll be in there, right next to my bag of cat poop and litter.
Look, I toss all poop (except my own, of course) into my garbage can, tightly bagged. I know my garbage can already stinks. I wouldn’t dare toss it into someone else’s without their express permission and only if I had that permission and they had either cats, dogs, or babies (diapers).
Yeah, that’s my attitude, too. You could stuff dead bodies in my trash, if you’d like.
Just for the sake of discussion, how many bodies would you say fit in your can, roughly speaking?
I have three garbage bins, and one recycling bin, that the city has allotted me. My answer is going to depend on whether you puree the bodies or not. My ballpark estimate is that the size of these bins are about 2"x2.5"x3", so about 15 cubic feet.
I’m having difficulty figuring out what the average human body’s volume is, but I suspect about 3 bodies per bin is feasible, given the bodies are pureed, or otherwise finely chopped.
Not sure about what would happen in the blue (recycling) bin. I would assume that you could put bodies in there, and the workers wouldn’t notice.
So my best Straight Dope estimate is 12 bodies per week, given that the bodies are pureed. Left whole, I would guess 8.
If you’re looking for an empirical answer, it’s just over one average sized male body in one of my bins.
I highly recommend the wheeled 55 gallon Rubbermaids for hauling bodies. They’re air tight for less stink, plus they don’t leak body fluids!
Seriously. Just because someone tried to pawn their dogshit problem onto me doesn’t make it my problem. I’m not obligated to do fuck-all. If someone walked up to me with a bag of garbage and threw it so it landed perfectly in my hands, would it be wrong to turn my hands over and let the garbage fall onto the ground where, if not for my hands, it would otherwise have landed? Fuck no. He’s a littering fuckwit who can’t figure out how to deal with his own waste. I’m an innocent bystander.
Note that this is a hypothetical exercise for me, as I live in a condo building with a trash chute on every floor. It’s fucking fantastic.
If someone came by and filled my trash can up with trash, I’d be pretty pissed off. If they came by and added a single grain of sand, I would wonder what the hell they were up to but that would be the end of it.
A bag of dog poop, being significantly larger than a grain of sand but still small in comparison to the volume of a trash can, should warrant a response somewhere in between. Possibly killing the perpetrator with fire or possibly nuking them from orbit.
It’s really kind of funny - the fuss. Definitely a First World problem.
Imagine everybody would be more justified if we were awash in each others poop, didn’t give a rat’s behind about our furry friends and were competing with each other to eat the birds.
So, it’s fine for your cats run around outside shitting in people’s flower beds and sandboxes and such and* leave the shit there*, but it’s just awful for someone’s dog to shit in your yard and someone pick it up? You gotta be fucking with me.
I’ll pass on that. My fiancee couldn’t stand running past the Peterson place.
A lovely essay on dogshit from the good folks at rotten.com.
I don’t know if anyone here keeps up with The Guild, but I totally read this in Vork’s voice.
(FTR, the Chef household contains no dogs – just two recently acquired kittens, both of whom are strictly indoor cats and who are perfectly happy never going outside. As someone who had to sob bitterly not long ago and have a beloved cat euthanized because she accidentally got outside and wound up unfixably injured, I believe that people who deliberately expose their pets to all the dangers of the Not-So-Great Outdoors are not the enlightened pet owners they apparently believe themselves to be.)
On topic: I haven’t ever seen anyone drop a dog-bomb into my curbside trash receptacle and would not be thrilled if someone did, even though I never bring them inside, but I’d slightly prefer it to the assholes who let their dogs shit on my yard and don’t pick it up at all.
Also, maybe I missed something about the situation, but surely the OP knows when the trash trucks come – they pick up my trash every Friday morning within a time window of no more than fifteen minutes or so. Why can’t you just bring your trash cans in as soon as they’re emptied?
They’re at work in the middle of a weekday.
Agreed with both of these posts. I watched what was obviously a pampered pet cat die on the sidewalk in front of me one morning last week because the owners didn’t keep it inside (we live on a busy road). My cat does go outside - into our cat-proofed back yard. I don’t think she’s ever set foot outside the yard at this house, and it is my intention that she never will. I want my cat to not get run over on the road, and I also want her to not bother anyone else - I wish my neighbours felt the same way about their dogs.
One of the most unpleasant things I have ever had to do was introduce myself to a new neighbor and tell them that I found a few pieces of their cat that the coyotes left behind on my front lawn.
You all who are bitching about garbage! in your garbage! cans! must be the same ones that insist we spray our butts with poop spotted water because your delicate noses cannot stand the smell for the 60 seconds you are in the bathroom. Jesus Christ OP, your garbage smells so wonderful that a bagged sample of dog shit overpowers everything else?
Look, be happy those people are not just letting their dogs run unattended, and that they are picking the poop up. If you don’t want them to put their bags in your can, write them a nice note. But quit punishing the responsible because you are a candy assed high toned prissy little wanna be or I’ll come down there and throw the damn used Pampers I keep finding in the parks in your bin!
Hey, those used Pampers could have been on little puppy wuppies! Don’t hate.
Besides, everyone knows that you throw your used diapers away on the ground in parking lots, not parks.