Fucking Dove moisturizing commercial (very lame; please share your own infuriating commercials)

[BaneSidhe]

Someone please stuff the smug little man in the freecreditreport.com commercials into a trash compactor.

[KneadToKnow]

@Ferret_Herder

Did you notice she maybe blinks once in the whole commercial? :eek:

[Progressive.com’s Flo]
YES!
[/Flo]

[LurkMeister]

@Serenata67

The commercial that is really getting to me right now is the Mary J Blige one where she’s using all these different phones and her clothes are changing every two seconds. She’s walking all annoying and exaggerated and bopping her head all dumb, the song gets stuck in my head and I don’t even know the words to that overly processed almost-techno sounding voice and song she has going on. I can’t stand it.

@KneadToKnow

First time I saw that one, I asked my girlfriend, “Am I supposed to know who the hell that is?”

Until I read Serenata67’s post I had no idea who it was. Or why I should care. But I knew that I hated her voice and the song.

[Promethea]

@Beware_of_Doug

Ah, Brooker! He’s marvelous. Wish we had one like him over here.

You do have the utterly fantastic Sarah Haskins! Target Women: Doofy Husbands

[Brown_Eyed_Girl]

@Promethea

You do have the utterly fantastic Sarah Haskins! Target Women: Doofy Husbands

That was awesome!

[Serenata67]

@LurkMeister

Until I read Serenata67’s post I had no idea who it was. Or why I should care. But I knew that I hated her voice and the song.

I’m so glad I’m not the only that abhors that commercial.

[Shawn1767]

I can’t stand the Progressive Insurance because of Flo. She’s a little too “uncanny valley” for me.

Almost human, but not quite. (I realize she’s a real person, but I can’t understand the appeal, she creeps me out).

[Transistor_Rhythm]

@maladroit

That vocal effect might be flanging. I like the commercial because I think the clothes are pretty. I usually mute commercials with singing in them, especially Subway and freecreditreport.com.

from here
http://www-ece.eng.uab.edu/DCallaha/courses/DSP/Projects%202001/T4/sound.htm
Flanging

Flanging has a very characteristic sound that many people refer to as a "whooshing" sound, or a sound similar to the sound of a jet plane flying overhead. Flanging is generally considered a particular type of phasing (another popular effect). Flanging is created by mixing a signal with a slightly delayed copy of itself, where the length of the delay is constantly changing.

Naw, it’s just autotune.

[eleanorigby]

I tend to mute all commercials because they are too loud and obnoxious, but Justin Case (for some insurance or other) has come to my attention. I want to kill him.

And I am repelled by cartoon bears selling toilet paper. I make it a point to NOT buy that brand.

[lawoot]

@eleanorigby

And I am repelled by cartoon bears selling toilet paper. I make it a point to NOT buy that brand.

Hear, hear!

[Transistor_Rhythm]

@eleanorigby

I tend to mute all commercials because they are too loud and obnoxious, but Justin Case (for some insurance or other) has come to my attention. I want to kill him.

The thing about Justin Case that drives me to go out and kill for Khrushchev is that the commercials are played completely straight and serious, when they’re so cheesy and lame that they feel like parodies of earnest commercials that resort to lame gimmicks. Whenever I see it, I keep waiting for the other shoe to fall, but the whole thing is played completely earnest without a hint of irony or self-awareness.

[Meyer6]

@Shawn1767

I can’t stand the Progressive Insurance because of Flo. She’s a little too “uncanny valley” for me.

Almost human, but not quite. (I realize she’s a real person, but I can’t understand the appeal, she creeps me out).

I feel the same way about the Lipton Green Tea commercial lady. I can’t put my finger on why, but she gives me the uncanny valley creeps - it’s like she’s a mixture of a real person and a cartoon.

Here’s the commercial on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LSYFhwnILd0&feature=related

[AskNott]

I kept seeing an ad for some product, and the voice-over seemed to proudly tell me it contained “nutria moisturizer.” A nutria is a swamp rat about the size of a housecat, which made the ad confusing. Eventually, I listened more carefully, and maybe she was saying “nutrium,” which is just as mysterious. What the hell’s nutrium?

[salinqmind]

@Antinor01

The recent Pizza Hut commercial for their pasta dishes. The premise is that a TV reporter is going around to people’s houses to see how the recession has affected their dinner habits. He goes in to one house and the mom is scooping up plates of the Pizza Hut pasta and disgustedly says ‘This isn’t a story, they’re still eating pasta!’ (or something to that effect)

He repeats this in a few houses and then sees the pizza hut delivery guy going up to a house and says ‘Not you again!’.

Get real! Feeding your family on pasta is NOT some huge expensive prospect. The whole thing is just incredibly stupid.

And if some of us aren’t fat enough, they’re selling pieces of dough you can dip into chocolate. And some faker doofus is pretending to be French, using the worst ‘French’ accent EVER, inviting people to try zee 'chalk - oh - laht". And then surprise! says “It’s from Pizza Hut and I’m NOT even French!” Oh, no shit?

[Rhythmdvl]

@Promethea

You do have the utterly fantastic Sarah Haskins! Target Women: Doofy Husbands

Sarah Haskins!!!

I caught a handful of her videos a year or so ago and promptly lost the history and path to how I found her. Been wracking my brains ever since trying to think of ways to find that sardonic, hysterical female commentator on yogurt. Yeah, good luck. Thanks for reminding me!

[Serenata67]

@Shawn1767

I can’t stand the Progressive Insurance because of Flo. She’s a little too “uncanny valley” for me.

Almost human, but not quite. (I realize she’s a real person, but I can’t understand the appeal, she creeps me out).

Don’t tell the Flo Fan Club about that…

[Death_of_Rats]

@Antinor01

Get real! Feeding your family on pasta is NOT some huge expensive prospect. The whole thing is just incredibly stupid.

It is if you are having it delivered by Pizza Hut rather then making the same dish at home better for 1/10th the cost.

My contribution are the AT&T wireless ads toting thier rollover minutes with the smarmy family throwing away old minutes and demanding new ones. I am just waiting for the Mom to snap and go all Susan Smith on the one teenager.

[Wile_E]

@Death_of_Rats

…

My contribution are the AT&T wireless ads toting thier rollover minutes with the smarmy family throwing away old minutes and demanding new ones. I am just waiting for the Mom to snap and go all Susan Smith on the one teenager.

I like that one. The mom has the best angry looks ever. But I too hope she really snaps one day, too.

The one I hate is the guy with the big pack of gum that freshens your breath, Dentyne maybe. He walks around offering it to people saying “friend request” ignored, denied or accepted. It doesn’t bother me until the guy with coffee breath gets right in his face. Then later at a party he offers some chick a piece of gum and everybody gets up and dances. The chick is so bad at pretending to chew gum and dance it’s annoying. Couldn’t they just have found a better actress? She dance chews like she’s having some sort of slow motion seizure.

[Serenata67]

@Wile_E

I like that one. The mom has the best angry looks ever. But I too hope she really snaps one day, too.

The one I hate is the guy with the big pack of gum that freshens your breath, Dentyne maybe. He walks around offering it to people saying “friend request” ignored, denied or accepted. It doesn’t bother me until the guy with coffee breath gets right in his face. Then later at a party he offers some chick a piece of gum and everybody gets up and dances. The chick is so bad at pretending to chew gum and dance it’s annoying. Couldn’t they just have found a better actress? She dance chews like she’s having some sort of slow motion seizure.

I had never thought of her dancing as a slow motion seizure… but I totally see it now and it makes me laugh.

[Ferret_Herder]

@Death_of_Rats

My contribution are the AT&T wireless ads toting thier rollover minutes with the smarmy family throwing away old minutes and demanding new ones. I am just waiting for the Mom to snap and go all Susan Smith on the one teenager.

I want her to show up as the mom in this commercial:

@Biggirl

And don’t get me started on the one where the mom is slaving over dinner and her son tells her “I don’t know what pie-ella is but I’m not eating it!” and instead of cockpunching him when he arrives home, mom orders pizza.

It’s some commercial for a home communications/Internet/whatever unit where the mom looks up a paella recipe on its screen and sends out a “paella night!” text (?) on it, then her ungrateful brat of a son sends home a video/audio message consisting of that declaration. She looks kind of sad, sighs, and orders pizza. WTF. AT&T Wireless Mom would cram his camera phone up his rear end, I think.