I can’t stand the AT&T mom because she looks like she’s on the verge of laughing instead of trying to stare him down.
See…I LOVE the AT&T mom. I think those commercials are hilarious. Especially the milky minutes one. “Isn’t she lactose intolerant?” That’s the kind of smartass remark I’d have said as a kid…and she plays the part perfectly.
I finally remembered which commercial it is I really really hate the most - Twix need a moment? aggghhh hope you choke on it douche
…but the Sony eBooks Reader commercial is the worst commercial of all time - ALL TIME!
I just saw this last night during Glee and went: WUT?
A woman is in an electronics store looking at the Sony deal and goes: “Can I read a lot of books on this?” You see the device for, truly, half a second. Now, we all know what an eBook reader is, it’s like a Kindle. Anyone who DOESN’T know that sure as hell needs to see it for more than half a second. Any one who knows it’s like a Kindle wants to know “Why is it different than a Kindle, which is much better known and why should I buy yours instead?”
Suddenly the wall opens and an interview panel appears featuring:
Amy Sedaris, Justin Timberlake, Peyton Manning, and someone I don’t recognise.
Oh it’s going to be funny and they’re each going to tell me something neat!
Amy says: “Why yes! You can read hundreds of books - including mine!” holds up book. - funniness rating: D
Guy on end says: “I’m (didn’t catch name) professional speed reader - HUNDREDS of books! [pause] I just read one now!” - funniness rating: F
Justin Timberlake: “Me too!..No, I didn’t.” funniness rating: C+, barely
Peyton Manning: DOES NOT HAVE A LINE - why is he there?!
End of commercial. So, Sony eBook Reader is a device you can read books on (which I already knew from the name), that you have no desire to show me, and you have hired 3 celebrities and a nobody to tell me nothing about (one of them LITERALLY nothing.)
That’s completely gross. Wash your stuff, and quit filling the air with chemicals, because honestly i just want to slap that kid AND his mom.
There is a tide commecial with a black father and son, and the kid’s just gotten out of his bath and the music “taaaaaaake meee hooooooomme too maaaahhh familyyyyy” is excessively saccarine, and just makes me want to barf.
Just take the disgusting sticky, stinky, icky trash out, ya lazy stupid whiny cow, and here’s a quarter not only for another bag but for you to CHOKE ON IT.
Freecreditreport guy gets to be hit with his own guitar for merely existing.
Another new commercial: “Here’s a surprise: Canada Dry Ginger Ale is made with real ginger!” Gee, considering that I can buy ginger for about a dollar a pound retail, and considering that a little ginger can flavor a whole lot of beverage, why should I be surprised you’re using the real thing? It’s dirt cheap!
Really, I would be hard pressed to find a mum who wouldn’t be the slightly mad at all the mess - never mind laughing while cleaning it all up. 20 years back my mum would have caned me for causing so much trouble for her (Southeast Asian context here)
Just to say… one of the best-written posts I’ve seen around here in a long time. And I agree with the sentiment 100%.
I can see it. Now, many of these kids are old enough to know better, and the mom should know whether their kid is ready or not to handle some of the things that make these messes, but my daughter has messed stuff up, or dropped a container and scattered cheerios all over the place, or cracked her sippy cup and sprayed juice all over the floor. And, at first, I might be a bit peeved, but then she gives me this 'Oh my GOSH it broke!" look that just makes me laugh, and it’s hard not to smile at it. (I try and hide it if it was something she really did wrong, as I don’t want her to know I think it’s kind of funny, but sometimes it’s hard)
GOLD!
Another vote for the wretched Febreze commercial. Just wash the sheets, the curtains, and the skanky ass dirty clothes.
Also the new ad for Bisquick, where the mother rousts her kids out of bed to make pancakes. Look, Bisquick pancakes are one step removed from microwave pancakes. Stop pretending they’re something special.
The Mastercard “priceless” commercials cause me great pain. They are an assault on logic. The initial formula made sense (various items you can buy with Mastercard, then a “priceless” feeling you will have afterward) but then they started running ads with only the abstract stuff and nothing you would buy with Mastercard.
Abstract feeling 1: Zero dollars.
Abstract feeling 2: Zero dollars.
Abstract feeling 3: Priceless.
“Zero dollars” means the same thing as “priceless” in this context. You don’t need a Mastercard for something that costs zero dollars. Aughh!
Speaking of incompetent husbands ones, I hate the one where he sets up a ladder and then has to be sucked in by the super-powerful vacuum they’re selling, to keep from falling backward.
“Thanks, hon. I’ll call a handyman.” Um, no, just go back and reset your ladder correctly. And climb the ladder with some actual tools this time. :rolleyes:
I hate this commercial too, and not just because of her creepy eyes. No, what bothers me is the doctor asks the patient a couple of questions and diagnoses her with chronic dry eye, promising to write her a precription - and only THEN bothers to examine the patient. If you’re going to write her a precription and are sure enough already to tell her what’s wrong, why would you look at her eyes after that? If they’d left out the examination going on while talking about side effects, it’d be a lot less annoying.
My mom has something going on with her eyes where they dry out and her (spoiled for ooginess) corneas rip off and as soon as she mentioned it I said “Restasis!” Apparently her doc also suffers but doesn’t recommend Restasis since it takes months to work and essential is an irritant to make one’s eyes water. So instead it’s drops, gooey ointment, and moistened goggles at night.
And what a q & a they have, too!
“Doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been using eye drops a lot.”
“For how long?”
“Quite some time.”
“I’m writing you a prescription.”
“A prescription? What is it?”
Notice that the patient asks twice as many questions as the doctor does.
My girlfriend and I actually have alternate dialogue for that commercial:
“Doctor, here’s the thing. I’ve been sleeping with your husband.”
“For how long?”
“Quite some time.”
“I’m writing you a prescription.”
“A prescription? What is it?”
“Probably a nasty little case of gonorrhea, unless he got that taken care of.”
I find the Windows 7 commercials with cute little girl Kylie to be fairly unlikely (not to mention dangerous to those lacking in insulin production). Imagine a 6 year old who reads the reviews of the Windows 7 operating system and attaches them to professionally done (but gag-inducing) clip art. Who is Microsoft targeting with these ads? Are the legions of companies that decided not to upgrade to Vista going to be swayed by clip art of unicorns and puppies?
Another commerical I saw last night. A mother and her daughter are hurrying down a street (voice over: “You try to keep active.”) They arrive at a curb with a sizable puddle. The kid leaps over the puddle but the mom hesitates. And for good reason, she’s wearing stiletto high heels. (Voice over: “Even at 30, you can be losing calcium from your bones. So eat Yoplait yogurt.”) Mom gathers her courage and leaps across the puddle. No doubt because she has been downing quarts of Yoplait, her ankles don’t shatter like glass when she comes down on her three inch heels. I’m guessing that if you really want to stay active, your best bet is not to wear ridiculous footwear while running errands in the city.
There’s one for some brand of fish sticks that I hadn’t seen in a while, but did see again last night. It makes my blood boil.
A little girl takes a bite of the inferior product that her mom serves her and starts berating poor Mom. “Minced fish?!? You serve me minced fish?”
Cut to mom setting down a plate of the advertised brand, saying, “Here you go, honey. Brand A fish sticks, never minced!”
Little girl takes a bite and says, “That’s more like it!”
I’m positive they’re related to the pizza-ordering mom with the “pie-ella” hating son.
In my head I hear this dialog;
“I’m going to write you a prescription”
“A prescription? What is it?”
“It’s a piece of paper I write medications on, but that’s not important right now.”
Ah! You’ve been reading my rant from July 12!