Fucking ill-mannered kids

The BBQ Pit
1

I haven’t had time to write this rant until now, so some of the details are fuzzy, but…

My male cousins age 4 and 7 and sisters age 10 and 12 are outside playing around in our yard on Saturday of Easter weekend. Little neighbor boy age 7 across the street comes outside, along with his (I’m assuming older) cousin (age 10 perhaps?) Because my family members are playing, they go over and see if they want to play. Their efforts at niceness are rebuffed by the older child across the street, who apparently starts name-calling.

This ten-year old kid tells my older sister she “has no balls”. My sister responds with something like “Of course not, because I’m a girl.” He says, “Oh, that’s right, I forgot you have a slit, you little slut.” I was not over there to hear this but I can tell from afar that something is amiss and I tell the kids in my family to come over on this side of the street and not talk to the other kids.

The kids across the street then start shooting cap guns off, obviously trying to bother/disturb my family members. I basically tell them to knock it off. They throw something (a beanbag frog or something if I recall) across the street and I tell my cousin to hang on to it - if the other kids can’t play nice, they should learn there will be consequences. Fucking absurd.

Then the older kid across the street says to my older cousin, “You are a B-A-S-T-E-R-D.” I overhear it, and say “Go away, kid, you can’t spell.” The younger kid across the street says “You’re a bastard!” It’s all I can do not to go over and just smack the hell out of these kids. To resolve the situation without getting a rap as a “troublemaker” in the neighborhood, I am forced to go inside, bring out a paintball marker, and fire a few warning shots. My analogy to the situation was I simply had a larger cap gun than they did.

These kids were ages 7 and about 10… One of them used worse language than I’m used to hearing on a regular basis. Why do people not know how to raise their kids to have some fucking courtesy? Those kids need to be smacked on a far more regular basis than I’m sure they are being.

Yeah, I’m fifteen, and I’m an advocate of corporal punishment. Dr. Benjamin Spock & Co. really fucked this nation up.

[sub]This is a really shitty rant - damn.[/sub]

2

On one hand the sweet civilised part of me says you should have gotten an adult to chat with their parents, yadda, yadda…

On the other hand the twin across the street have a ‘thing’ for trying to capture and torture my cat. I like kids, I saw kids with an elaborate contraption in their lawn, I go ask what they are doing. They sweetly inform me they are trying to catch the white cat.

I retrain myself from kicking their little faces in. I’m not big on corporal punishment, mainly because it doesn’t work on me. Hit me and I’ll simply lose all respect for you. Ever. (My dad) Sit me down and say you are disapointed in my actions/behavior and I will be emotionaly scarred for years and never, never, never do that thing or anything close to it ever again. (My mom.) Physical force is the stupid way for people who can’t comunicate things. If an action is so bad, why can’t you explain why its wrong? Don’t treat me like an idiot. (I’ve held these beliefs for a loooong time, I’m 19) explain the reasoning behind it, so I can understand it, and I’ll see the light. (Or think you’re being dumb, but I’ll make my own decisions.)

3

The reason I believe in corporal punishment is because it was used effectively on me. As a child, if I was being a total ass, I got spanked. Yes, I was wicked pissed for a while, but it IMMEDIATELY establishes a direct connection: yelling like a baby is NOT the way to get what you want.

Kids - keep in mind I am saying young kids - don’t establish that link when their parents yell at them (the preferred response seen today). They certainly don’t establish that link when a parent stands idly by and looks embarassed. There is value in sitting down with a child and saying “Listen, acting like a baby is not the way to get what you want,” but that cannot be done “in-field”, so to speak.

I will agree with you that if I were spanked at my present age, it would have no effect, or, indeed have a negative effect. I’m talking about kids at a young age here. If discipline is effectively carried out at a young age, I wholeheartedly believe that the kid will not need discipline at older ages.

I will agree with you that some people carry corporal punishment too far, and this is when it becomes abuse, which is a different matter entirely.

I still think that a spanking is in order for those kids I see who have no discipline whatsoever.

[sub]BTW, the rant was really more about those damn kids in general, but I’ll take up the corporal punishment banner.[/sub]

4

Continuing on hijack, I am talking about young kids. Or at least any I have close contact with. Maybe it comes with being really, really smart, maybe its just the way my family works, but either way, us kids learn that you don’t get what you want by screaming by…not getting what we screamed for.

We also get some good lessons on debate. If you can ask politely and make a good case for your wishes, you will probably get them. I called a family meeting when I was six or seven to negotiate a raise in my allowance. Worked well. Sitting down and talking through an issue is the form of conflict resolution my parents support. Not I’m bigger than you and can slap you around so you better shut up.

'Course my parents are idealists. They figured that if they wanted their children to use words and debate to resolve conflicts, they should use words and debate with their children to resolve conflicts. First person to scream loses in my house. Regardless of position.

You are right that yelling doesn’t work. I’m not a die hard who thinks kids should never be physically touched. But I will say its not high on my list of solutions. I know its not somthing that works in my family of stubborn, super smart kids. What does work is logic, words, and a trust and emotional attachment. I love my mom. I try very, very hard to make her happy. This has been true (with the minor exception of a bf she’s not fond of) for most of my life.

5

Shit, Kathyrn, what did they do to Kitty?
I hope you got him away, and tore the little brat a new one!

6

You belong here:

http://www.fred.net/turtle/kids/kidrants.shtml

I like what I see here too, usually…