fucking little goat squicking felchwads

The BBQ Pit
1

Today is the first day we have had a sunny day in almost 3 weeks. I wanted to take advantage of the weather by lying out and tanning.

I can not lay out in my own yard as the enormous maple trees shade the entire backyard, so I have to tan elsewhere. The tress shade the backyard so much, they have killed off all the grass, leaving nothing but a jungle of nasty weeds.

I decided to go down to the park about 6 blocks from my home. It’s a big park, and there is plenty of wide open space. I picked a grassy spot near the center of the park, which is surrounded by 3 separate softball diamonds. This area is usually inactive during the day, and the quietest area. The other side of the park is basketball, tennis courts and playgrounds, and quite busy. Don’t wanna be near there!

I was lying there for about an hour, when along comes a bunch of little fucking felchwad children to play baseball, nearest where I was laying. Yes, it is a public park. But what the fuck? You little felchwad goat-squicking bastards just had to pick the ONE diamond, where I was closest to, instead of the any of the others. I had to get up and leave or I could have been beaned by a stray ball.

Yes, I know just because I was there first doesn’t give me any special rights, but damn, where is a person supposed to go to have peace and privacy to enjoy some sun? The nearest beach is almost an hour drive away, and I am not wasting my gasoline and money when I could tan just as easily near home. I don’t want a fucking tan-in-can or waste my money on a stupid fucking tanning salon either. The sun is free, but I can’t use it, thanks to the little goat-squicker felchwad children.

Why don’t they go to fucking summer school, Boy Scouts, summer camp, Chucky Cheese, Discovery Zone, vacation bible school, or wherever/whatever else you little felch suckers do. (I can find other things to do myself, but the sun doesn’t shine everyday here, lately. Got to take it when it’s available. You don’t need the sun to play fucking baseball. You do need the sun to tan.)

Anyone want to donate to the MSK backyard fund? I only need about, oh, maybe $3,500 to cut down the big fucking trees, remove a bunch of fucking debris, plant new fucking lawn, and install six fucking foot privacy fence. I tell ya, not having a private place of your own to enjoy the outdoors and sun really fucking sucks.

I guess maybe the beach would be cheaper, in a short term perspective. Might even meet some ladies there. Hmmmm… I just hope they leave their little goat-squickers at home with grandma and grandpa. I guess there is no escaping the problem, unless I have my own private space, e.g. my backyard, or resort to to a fucking fake tan from a salon.

I’m sure this is going to piss off anyone who has kids, and I apologize, but I had to vent. What is a childless adult supposed to do?

I need to go read this thread in MPSIMS No kids, don’t want any? Post here…

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If donating to this fund means you will NEVER leave your backyard again, not only will I donate money, I’ll contribute labor for free.

For pete’s sake, MSK, get a grip.

3

Fuckin-A MSK. You tell 'em!

Goddamned kids.
Who do they think they are getting out in the fresh air, on the first sunny day 3 weeks, to have some fun playing baseball? Don’t they know how important it is for pasty adults to take up outfield space by laying there and doing nothing?
Presumptious little bastards!!
Why, I wish I had a nickel for every kid running around laughing in the sunshine, who should rightfully be locked in a basement some where playing Nintendo.
What if I wanted to sit at center court of my neighborhood basket ball court and pick my nose for three hours. Do you think I want any pesky children there to ruin it for me?
There ought to be a law!

[sub]is this even necessary —>[/sub] … :rolleyes:

4

You could make up a very convincing sign, like those ones they have for signing up for stairmasters at the gym, and hang it on the backstop. Sign up for a two-hour block and park yourself right there in the middle of the diamond. When a bunch of people show up, point at the sign, shrug, and get on with your tanning.

Or you could get about nine other people to all go tanning at once. Put one at home, one on the mound… that’d be a pretty funny sight.

5

Set up near the pitcher’s mound of one field when all three were empty so that any new arrivals would select a different field?

Quietly move while thanking the fate or deity of your choice that they were into baseball and not harrassment or theft?

Ask to join the game, bean one of the kids, then resume your spot when the ambulance left?
It seems there were several options available that did not include wasting the time it took to post a rather trivial (if quite long) rant.

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Jack Batty: That was fucking hilarious. :smiley:
Sapphire Bullet: Mmmmmkay, whatever :rolleyes:

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Yes, the lot of a childless adult is a long, arduous road. It includes the painful responsibilities of paying the bills and rent and…and…

Hmm.

Well, it’s a long, painful travail of suffering anyway!

8

Hmmmmmm, growing the fuck up would be a good place to start.

9

Thanks, … um … but I think you kind of missed the point.

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Get a grip MSK! Hell yeah, let’s let all the sunbathers use the playground, and have the kids play stickball in the middle of the fuckin’ road!

Whatever. As if the free world gives a rat’s ass about the state of your yard. How self-centered and bitter can you get? Oh wait, thinks his tan is more important than the kid’s baseball game… never mind.

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So what’s wrong with the front yard?

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Imagine what a survivor of the holocaust, a victim of apartheid, a person dying of AIDS, or even a family who can barely afford to put food on the table in the richest fucking nation on earth would think if he or she read this post in which someone’s biggest problem was that children were playing a game near where he was trying to get a suntan.

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Let me say, firstly, that I hate children, sports, sunshine, and the outdoors in general. With my crumudgeon credentials now firmly established, MSK, get a fucking grip. It’s a public park, and those kids were using it for its intended purpose. Stop whining and find somewhere else to grow your carcinomas.

14

“Mommy, mommy, we tried to play baseball in the park but there was this creepy half-naked man yelling at us about peace, quiet, and privacy.”

MSK, why don’t you invest in one of those kewl tanning beds? A landscaping service? A grip on reality?

15

MSK this is where you jump in and explain to everyone that you were just kidding and then laugh at what reactionarys we all are. Here I will laugh with you…hahahah

16

You could sunbake buck naked in the park across the road from my house all summer long without being disturbed by children. Of course, this has something to do with the broken glass and discarded syringes which provide decoration, but what’s a little debris when you can have exclusive access to free Sun™?

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God help us if the kids actually play ball instead of vandalizing stuff…that would be horrid… I mean who would think a park would be used for that…and couldn’t you just move out of the way…I will echo the others…get a grip MSK…if I was that age I know I would be one of the kids.

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Actually, no I did not. I am well aware of the biting sarcasm. It’s still funny.

19

Oh bullshit.

You didn’t notice it because you were too fucking busy being a jackass.

  1. The park is public.
  2. You can fucking TAN anywhere.
  3. Fuck you.
  4. Don’t like where you live? MOVE.
  5. Fuck you HARD.

It is assholes like you that give assholes a bad name.

20

Okay okay okay… jeeez

I’m getting more fucking “sunburn” in this forum, than outdoors!

Okay, so I had a selfish moment. Ex-fucking-cuse me. Like no one else here ever has had a selfish moment.

Fact: The children are not to forfeit their game, for me, or anyone elses activity. Fine. It’s a public park. Point taken!

I would like to know how anyone else would approach the exact same circumstances, if they were faced with them, even without of the kids at the park ordeal.