I love when the Yankees win the World Series. Because I hate baseball, and a Yankee victory causes the most anguish among the largest number of baseball fans possible. 
Am I the only person who, at a quick glance, thought this was some bizarre rant about the Treasury Secretary Paul H. O’Neill?
Oh my.
(But of course NY is the best place on earth and thusly, everything from it the best.)
Yes, Collounsbury, that is exactly what I thought this rant would be about. But I couldn’t think of any artistic ventures that our treasury secretary is involved in that would require talent, so I was left rather confused as well.
Ha Ha! Good one.
Did you also know that former US Secretary of Defense William Perry once played for the Chicago Bears and was known as “The Refrigerator”? Of course, he lost a lot of weight and changed his race from black to white since then.
Oh, nevermind.
Oh good, I feel better.
Well, my first thought is that I would be treated to something about PHO’N not properly managing fiscal policy,
perhaps a learned rant about differntial impacts of tax policy versus fiscal stimulus.
Imagine my chagrin.
Paul O’Neill not only plays right field for the Yankees but is also Treasury Secretary? Man, that’s cool.
What’ll Dubya think of next?
What’s Derek Jeter, like maybe Attorney General or something?
A learned rant? I sigh, really, with your disappointment. But that would have been entirely to much to ask for.
Watching the myriad of so-called Yankee haters come out of the woodwork and squirm comes rather close, though.
I wonder if Paul O’Neill paints, as well. That certainly requires some talent.
Of course not. He’s the chief of Homeland Security. Didn’t you see “the play?”
D’oh! [smacks head] Of course! David Justice is Attorney General!
but he should be labor secretary, because of his exoperience with strikes.
Or he could be head of the Task Force on Domestic Abuse. He’s rumored to know a bit about this subject.
How about Chuck Knoblauch for Postmaster General, since he’s had so much experience with Air Mail.
While we’re making fun of the Yankees that I and everyone else loves, why don’t we put El Duque in charge of immigration? Or Daryll Strawberry in charge of Public Health?
BTW, Paul O’Neill does suck alot. Sure, he comes through in big ways once a year in the play-offs, but he screws up alot more. I think there are better out-fielders than “Pauly”.
When Magua kills the asshole, Magua will eat the asshole’s heart. First Magua will kill the asshole’s children, so he will know that his seed has been removed from the Earth!
LC
The Treasury Secretary is open to charges of being a no-talent, cry-baby ass too - don’t worry about that, Collounsbury, just fill in the details as you see fit.
But seriously, O’Neill’s really the only dislikable current Yankee, now that Clemens has apparently more or less reformed. It isn’t like the 70’s days of Reggie Jackson, the Human Hot Dog, constantly preening and trying to get quotes into the paper, even telling lies about his background … that belligerent drunk Billy Martin blowing up at any little thing … the younger Steinbrenner jocksniffing and generally meddling, when not competing with Reggie for newspaper column space … Mickey Rivers generally being a clueless fool … need I continue?
Every team has a selfish whiner like O’Neill, maybe several. Bernie Williams doesn’t run out grounders, for instance, and that’s probably worse. But the team just isn’t hateable anymore. They play the game the way it should be played, and they always seem to come through when it matters. You don’t have to actually like them - I certainly don’t - but you do have to admire them.
New York must have corrupted him. When he played for the Reds, he was quite the gentlemen. He’s always reminded me of Sam Malone (Ted Danson) of Cheers…