A guy I work with walks really fast. He was sued by a motorcyclist that he ran into while crossing the road. He had to pay all the repairs and medical bills out of his own pocket - who has pedestrian insurance.
For the comfort of the majority I think all shopping centres should have moving walkways at their doors. The walkway should travel away from the doors at slightly less than walking pace. If you can’t walk faster than the walkway carries you away from the doors, you can’t get in.
The snipers with rubber bullets will take care of other pedestrian transgressions - stopping to talk at the top/bottom of stairs/escalators, leaving insufficient gaps between friends, veering, sudden stopping etc.
My beloved husband is one of those people, God love him. He walks justalittlebit slower than I do. I’m all right with it most of the time, since I just slow down. But on the stairs…he gets even slower. And I tend to sprint up them. I always seem to be about three nanoseconds from crashing right the fuck into him, and it’s not as though he has any REASON to walk slowly, and he’s ALWAYS in front of me! Grrr…
At this point, I just wait until the person in front of me reaches the top, and then sprint up. Then repeat for more flights.
The only exception is when there are also people behind me, in which case I start to feel very claustrophobic and boxed in, and it is sheer torture walking slowly up the stairs.
Does this happen to you guys? I swear it happens to me all the time. I’m walking down the sidewalk, and another person is, say, half a block in front of me, walking in the same direction. The other person stops for whatever reason, let’s say to buy a newspaper. As I catch up to the stopped person, and am about to pass him, he picks that exact moment to continue walking again, stepping directly in front of me and blocking my path.
Also, sometimes, these slow people gang up, and walk in a line that fills up the entire sidewalk.
I also hate it when you’re shopping, so you stand some distance away from the shelves while you’re looking for what you want so other people can come get what they want, and there’s always one fucker who pulls up their trolley right in front of you so you can’t see a fucking thing!
I don’t get this little snide remark. As if you have real problems that the OP does not. This was simply a mini rant. I seriously doubt the OP goes about his day dwelling on this little pet peeve.
Sometimes they get narrow, especiially if there are parked cars and trees and trash cans and stuff. It’s got to be at least wide enough for two people to pass. And don’t forget oncomming pedestrians. If I’m trying to pass and someone comes down the other side, all of a sudden we are in a game of chicken.
EXACTLY! If no one changes speed, you have this awkward ten minutes or so of walking next to a complete stranger. “hey…what’s up…I’m just going to walk here for awhile”. And if I pass the person like I’m in hurry and all of a sudden go back to normal speed, they KNOW I was just passing them.
“Also, sometimes, these slow people gang up, and walk in a line that fills up the entire sidewalk.”
Something about that just sounds funny, like the old Python skit about roving gangs of old people. Then again, the title of the thread is funny too. It would be awful difficult to fuck someone walking faster. If they walk at 90 percent of your speed, at least you have a chance to catch up and “couple”. Just like a couple of locomotives?
This would’ve made a good Seinfeld episode… I can picture it now.
Jerry (agitated voice): “I don’t know if I can stay in this relationship!”
George (while eating some chips on the couch): “What’s the problem?”
Jerry: “She’s a slow walker.”
I don’t mind the slow walkers. It’s the near pissers that get me.
You know what I mean, guys. You’re alone in the men’s room, entire wall of urinals, you take the first one cause you’re lazy and why not.
Another guy comes in. But instead of taking a pisser down the wall a bit, he takes the second one, right next to you.
Then he starts whistling.
Just one of these days when that happens I swear I’m gonna turn around and shout at the top of my lungs, “Hey, buddy, take a hike, you’re fucking freaking me out here!”
Analysys of the space-time relationships involved suggests that fucking people who are walking 90% of your speed should be easier than fucking people who are walking 110% of your speed.
I’m always in a rush, and these people drive me batty. I’m working on a “people wedge”, two pieces of plexiglass at at angle with handles on the back that I can use like a human cow catcher. I’ll let you know how it goes.
What’s even worse than the slightly-slower-walker, is the slightly-slower-walker-that-you-happen-to-know-but-not-very-well. You know the guy, but you have nothing in common and don’t particularly want to talk to him. If you pass, you are forced to say hello, then if you carry on, you look rude.
My interpretation of the rant wasn’t a criticism of the person in front, since we’re all that person half the time, but a vent at the frustration of not being quite sure what to do. Someone who’s blocking yuor way has an obvious fix: stand to one side, but someone walking doesn’t, and if there’s nothing they can do it’s not their fault. It could have come equally well from the other side.
The frustration isn’t someone walking slowly, but just slightly slower, because you have to chase them to say “excuse me”
To the OP: although some people in this thread seem to have misunderstood you, I understand you COMPLETELY.
I have a couple add-ons.
ONE: It’s almost worse when you’re jogging. Well, you need to pass them, but you don’t know if maybe they’re just warming up, so they’ll be passing you again. So, you look like you were “competing” and now they trounced you. Also, if you do the “passing gear” manouver, which can work for walking, it can bite you on the ass if you used up too much energy, and pretty soon you’re going 90% of the speed of the guy you just passed.
TWO: When you’re going somewhere in particular, like a coffee shop. You need to make an assessment of whether it’s worth the discomfort to actually make the pass, or just stay behind until you get where you’re going. Invariably, if you make the pass, they come in right behind you. Sometimes so close that you need to hold the door for them. Now, who gets in line first?
Oooh! how about this one; person walking towards you, but with their head turned, talking to someone (more or less) behind them; no matter which way you go to avoid them, they just seem to wander towards you and it will somehow be YOUR fault when a collision occurs.
