OH MY GOD, there other people sharing the world with me? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

So I’m walking down the sidewalk today in the middle of Chicago at three in the afternoon, just minding my business. Then I realize that the sidewalk in front of me is being blocked by a woman and her child, who are managing to walk in the exact center of the sidewalk, slowly weaving from one side to another in order to completely block the entire sidewalk.

If there’s one thing that I just can’t stand, it’s people that do this - it’s usually couples, but in the case of larger citizens it can be a single person - people who manage to block the entire sidewalk by walking in the center and slowly ambling instead of sticking to one side and keeping a decent pace.

So after a few moments of contemplating whether I can slip by as the twosome slowly swerves, my irritation reaches a breaking point and I say, in a fully polite and neutral but assertive voice, “excuse me.”

The woman screams. I don’t mean she yelps, flinches, or jumps, I’m talking a full-on, double-lunged, blood-curdling Bride of Frankenstein SCREAM. People on the other side of the street whip around, a policeman on patrol reaches for his gun, dogs start barking. They’re looking at ME and wondering if I just exposed myself to her, or tried to grab her child, or pulled a gun on her.

I look at her with my best, “are you out of your mind!?” look and speed by. She tries to apologize - “Sorry, I didn’t know that somebody was there!”

THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT. You were so oblivious to the fact that, OH MY GOD, there are OTHER PEOPLE IN THE WORLD, trying to use the sidewalk that you’re blocking! You’re in the middle of a BUSY URBAN AREA in the middle of the day! I see this type of oblivious bullshit every day; people standing on the escalator (and in the middle of it at that), people ambling down the sidewalk with no care for who else is trying to use it, people driving like there aren’t other cars sharing the road with them. It’s bullshit behavior, and it makes me fucking insane.

But this takes the cake. Thanks, lady, for illustrating that you were so completely oblivious to the idea that there might be other people around that you SCREAMED BLOODY MURDER in sheer, unthinking surprise when someone politely tried to get past.

2

I had almost exactly the same thing happen today at the mall while Xmas shopping. Oblivious lady who was startled badly and shrieked when I said “Excuse me please”.

She apologized as I moved away from her. Can you imagine what would happen if we used a body check instead like I was thinking about? :wink:

Jim

3

My brother is notorious for his annoying walking style. If you’re walking with him in a group he always tends to walk quickly to the front of the pack, then slow down once he gets in front of you. He does this repeatedly up to the point where it is my father who is the one screaming at him.

4

It’s even better when the Oblivious Ones are walking two or three abreast down an indoor corridor. Not long ago I came up behind a slow-moving pair who were blocking my path and said “Excuse me” in a pleasant tone of voice. They edged aside, though I heard “Well, someone’s in a big hurry” in an affronted tone as I strode ahead.

Last week a not completely oblivious older lady did move aside when she heard me coming up behind her, though she had to observe “You’re moving at a fast pace.” By reflex (and due to having watched the original version of The Producers too many times) I barely avoided countering with “Look out, here comes the Master Race.” :smiley:

5

This sort of shit drives me up the wall. I can understand meandering down a country path, where you are actually unlikely to encounter another human being, but the way some people walk in cities just boggles the mind. They act as if the sidewalk is their own personal yellow brick road, where they can obliviously waltz from side to side without a care in the world.

Now that you’ve got me started, i’ll mention a couple of other pedestrian peeves.

The people who emerge from stores onto the sidewalk without paying the slightest attention to where they’re going. They push the door open and barge out, either chatting to their companions or squinting into the sky, arms akimbo and shopping bags flying, ready to bring a screaming halt to everyone else’s progress. They then act surprised when people start using them as a turnstile.

Then there are those who, no matter how busy and/or narrow the sidewalk, insist on walking three or four abreast. Sorry, fuckers, but if you’re in a big group then you don’t get to sweep all before you like some sort of human snowplough.
I know you’re the most important group of people on the planet, but one or two of you need to drop back so that others can get by. The worst offenders in this category, in my experience at least, are undergraduate women on my university campus, but plenty of other people also do it.

Possibly even more annoying are pedestrians who seem to calculate, to the exact inch, exactly how much space to leave between their shoulders so that they take up the whole of the sidewalk. There’s a section of my afternoon run where the sidewalk is pretty wide, enough for three people to comfortably walk abreast, and probably three and a half or four if they’re not too big. And yet there are constantly pairs of people who manage to walk in such perfect position that there isn’t enough room to get by on either side, or to go between them. What’s worse is that many of these people make no attempt to adjust their positioning even when they see someone coming.

A related group are the inconsiderate dog walkers, people who will walk on the far right of the path, and allow their dog to forage way over to the left, leaving a perfect, path-wide, knee-high obstruction for anyone coming in the opposite direction or overtaking from behind. The other day i came across a couple working this routine in tandem. They each had a dog, and the four creatures together managed to array themselves in such a way that the sidewalk and about five feet either side of it were completely obstructed.

My reaction to groups like this can vary from a terse “Excuse me” to a half-shouted “Coming through” or “On your left,” depending on my mood and whether i’m walking or running. I obviously cut more slack to people who i’m overtaking, as they may not have noticed me coming up behind them. If we’re meeting head-on, however, and i know they’ve seen me, then i barge on through if they refuse to be polite about sharing the road. I’ve seen people who, i’m sure, deliberately look away in the hope that you’ll step off the sidewalk and let them by.

I’m not some asshole about all this. I don’t expect them to yield more room than i need, and i stick close to the right hand edge of the sidewalk so people won’t be unsure about which way i’m going. But i refuse to step off into the grass—or the road—just because some asshole is too self-important to follow reasonable pedestrian etiquette.

6

I hate this. I was at Target today trying to finish my shopping, and had a heavy blender and 2 gift boxes in my hand. Blender made of glass and metal. People were driving me crazy - ambling along the main aisle, walking in the middle, on the wrong side, stopping short, slowing down right in front of me. Argh! I almost dropped the fucking blender because of the assholes - fucking walk! Move to the side if you’re gonna stop to have a conversation! It’s not that difficult! It was hot in there and the blender was about to make my arm fall off - I just wanted out of there.

7

Or, as my brother once said regarding the moving sidewalk in an airport, “It’s walk on the left, stand on the right. There is no dawdle!”

8

Gah! I can’t stand that. And not only does the obliviousness occur, but then for the next several hours, I am left wondering why people do that. And since I haven’t come up with a good answer, I just keep thinking it’s one of life’s great mysteries.

So if anyone knows why people do this (do rudely oblivious stuff on a consistent basis), please share. And is obliviousness related to intelligence or body awareness or something else? That’s the other thing I ponder.

9

Because we like to browse message boards at night and read the complaints that people impotently post after the fact. Brings a tear the eye, really.

10

Hear, Hear.

I work across the street from the Downtown Store Formerly Known as Fields.

Where the hell do these people come from? How can you be so oblivious to what is going on around you? Does*t it HURT to move that slowly?

What limited brain process generates a yelp of surprise at the amazing fact that there are
ACTUAL PEOPLE ON THE SIDEWALK when you exit a department store in the HEART OF DOWTOWN at NOON at the HEIGHT OF CHRISTMAS SEASON?

Are your eyes, brains and ears in one of the 8 giant bags that you are carrrying? Or maybe in the SUV-sized double stroller?

11

I hate this. Pass me on the left if you are walking toward me, especially on the sidewalk and we are to the right of traffic and the sidewalk is narrow. You can see the oncoming traffic, and I cannot.

I guess they see the traffic, and expect me to get hit from behind rather than wait or walk into it themselves. Of course, if we are on the left side of the street they will pass me to the left.

12

I walk faster than most people, and people in Japan walk more slowly than I’m used to. Plus, the crowds here are about 10 times worse than ANYTHING I’ve ever encountered in the US. A busy day in San Francisco looks like bloody midnight on a weekday in most of the Tokyo area. Welcome to clash of the cultures. I just usually dodge around people walking the same way, say the equivalent of excuse me when I can. Most of the time you can find a spot to pass in a few seconds. Annoying, but bearable. I have also startled a couple of people when I said, “sumimasen,” and had about the same reaction as you. Gee, it’s just so surprising that someone might be behind you and want to get by. :rolleyes:

Oncoming people are worse. No one wants to move out of the way. The worst situation I had to deal with was when I was carrying a shitload of luggage coming back from the airport. I’m about a head taller than most Japanese, weigh about 80 kg, and I was carrying close to my weight in luggage (camping backpack, two duffles, and a smaller backpack on my front). I got fed up with trying to be nice by adjusting my path. It’s a pain in the ass when you’re carrying that much stuff. So I just started walking straight ahead. I literally knocked a couple of people out of the way. It was kind of fun watching them carom off me.

It’s not like they could fucking miss me. Loaded down with that stuff I was the equivalent of dual axle pickup with a trailer among a bunch of Hondas. They could maneuver a lot easier than I could, and they didn’t bother. Fuck 'em. I walked through them. Because of that experience, I just started projecting that attitude all the time. People move. If I run up against some jerkoff who doesn’t (and it’s always a guy) I just run into him. That doesn’t happen very often anymore, and I don’t have to do any stupid dances trying to be nice to some asshole who doesn’t deserve it.

Maybe you guys should try just walking right through these little groups of space-hogs. They’ll probably get out of the way. So what if they think you’re a jerk? Politeness involves compromise. If only one side is giving, then there’s no compromise and no need for you to honor your side of the social contract either.

13

Certainly a worthy Pitting. I know I walk fast than the average person. Not as fast as my SO, who quite frankly walks at a ridiculous rate, but pretty swiftly. So I’m constantly weaving in and out of people. Walking on the sidewalk works the same way as driving, people. To the right. If you’re meandering go to the far right. (In America, that is.)

The worst place in the world for dumbassed pedestrians is Harvard Square, Cambridge, Mass. I know it’s something of a tourist trap, but some of us actually work and go to school there. Even on the most mundane streets you’ll find some tool(s) taking up the sidewalk or not looking where they’re going. At all.

And what’s up with people walking and looking in the opposite direction? Like they’re talking to someone, and will have their head completely turned - right toward you. What the hell? How hard is it to look mostly in front of you? I’m constantly having to dodge these idiots.

I drive in the area quite a bit. It’s a high-density area, so I don’t speed or drive like an ass. Some people are apparently under the impression that they are car-proof, because twice I saw jackasses walking across on a green light. Yes, walking. Not looking both ways, and running quickly when you see a gap. Just walking like they were strolling along the Charles looking at ducks. Traffic had to stop for these fuckstains. What the hell? It just takes one vehicle to fuck up your life… who’s got more to lose?

Some idiots I know like to bust out with the “hey, if someone hits me, I’m going to sue their asses.” Well, moron, there’s the issue of actually getting hit. I think it would hurt, and possibly leave you with a chronic problem like a limp, paralysis, and even DEATH. Cold comfort for me. Take your chances if you so choose, idiot.

I must admit to enjoying walking in Hong Kong. People seemed to have some kind of system there.

14

I go with the body check. It’s quicker and more satisfying.

15

This is my single biggest peeve… people who are in a huge hurry until they get in front of you, at which point they suddenly have all the time in the world.

Every day on the subway, I’m amazed at the people who hover in the doorway for the whole ride, make a point of being the first one off the train, and then amble along the platform and up or down the stairs as though they don’t have a damned thing to do today.

16

Life sure is hard.

:rolleyes:

Is there a crying baby smiley?

17

Yeah, its your picture. :wink:

18

There’s always one…

19

An incident like this happened to me in Wal-Mart the other day. Trying to follow a lady down an isle to get what I need at the other end. She’s weaving back and forth like she’s had a few too many. Then she freaking STOPS in the middle of the isle, turns her cart at an ANGLE, and proceeds to move to the side to gawk at the wonderous things upon the shelves. At first I think she’s grabbing something and going, then she just freaking starts slowly walink up and down the isle, pick something up, inspect it, put it back, move a bit, repeat. At which point I said fuck it and went to move around her. I tried to get my cart by hers, but there wasn’t enough room with her having her cart at an angle in the middle of the isle. So I walk around my cart and go to just gently nudge hers over. I lay one finger on it and she SCREAMS at me to get away from her stuff. Now, if her purse or child had been in the card, I’d have half assed understood. but it was JUST her groceries. she had her purse with her, and not a child to be seen. So to end my confusion, I politely say “huh?”. She then starts screaming at me to leave her stuff alone, that she’s been in the store for two hours getting it and she doesn’t want me taking anything. I proceed to tell her I didn’t want any of her worthless shit she had in the cart. I just want to get around her as she is an inconsiderate ass taking up more than her fair share of space. So then she comes running up to me, grabs her cart, and practilly THROWS it over into the shelf on the left, knocking several things off the shelf in the process. She then asks me “ARE YOU FUCKING HAPPY NOW, I KNOCKED SOME THINGS OFF THE SHELF AND NOW I HAVE TO PICK THEM UP ! ! ! !”. At which point I ask why she thinks she needs to become considerate NOW when she’s been a self involved bitch for the past ten minutes. So you know what she does?? can you guess?? She just walks past me, curses at me, and leaves. No cart, no picking up the shit she knocked off the shelf, just fucking leaves. I actually went to the end of the isle to see if she was going to get a manager or something. But she just walked straight out the door. I’m actually waiting for her to post a pit rant about me so I can call her an idiot in front of many many other people.

whew… I feel better. Thanks again for starting the pit rant. That felt good.

20

Argh. A friend of mine wants to set up mandatory walking classes, which include such fine details as How To Pass, Where Is a Good Place tto Stop and Chat? and If I Feel Like Walking Slowly, Where Should I Be?

We have narrow sidewalks in my area, and a plethora of people with dogs stopping five deep in the middle of the sidewalk to chat, clutching their double-skim-mocha-expressalattes. They also all have double wide strollers. You get a lot of two moms walking slowly side by side, each with a Golden Retriever and a double-wide stroller, each clutching a coffee, and talking on their cellphones.

I walk on the road a lot. Carefully. I can’t stand talking twenty minutes to walk three short blocks.