You assramming cockpacks. Are you somehow incapable of walking faster than .000holyshit002 MPH? Do you really have to take up the entire bloody walkway?
It’s even worse when these mouthbreathing fucks get all ancy and speed up the moment you try to walk around them.
Aarrghh.
Yeah, let’s all the rest of us get the hell out of YOUR way! Og forbid anyone should walk slower than you want to go.
I don’t know what you mean by taking up the whole walkway. Do you mean they’re fat? or wandering from side to side? or walking three abreast?
Entitled twit.
It IS rude to take up the whole walkway without any awareness of anything around you. Assholes who walk three abreast should be aware, and move out of the damn way.
As a fast walker with really long legs, I sympathize.
If you want to walk slow, fine. But don’t block everyone on the sidewalk who has somewhere to go.
You mean you’ve never had the experience of walking behind someone who, whenever you try to get around them, always manage to move sideways so they’re right in front of you? No matter which way you move?
Seriously?
What I can’t stand is when a person – or people – exit a door right in front of where I’m walking, and then linger there.
Ever tried a polite “excuse me, may I get by?” Most people’s telepathic abilities are pretty limited.
Obviously you have never been stuck on a sidewalk behind two oblivious twits pushing SUV strollers side by side while they talk about how awful their lives are.
Asshole.
They could be fat, they could be walking three abreast – it doesn’t matter. The point is that it’s inconsiderate as hell to take up the entire walkway and walk super slowly so that nobody can get around you easily if they need to. Here in NYC, it’s an especially annoying problem when things are so crowded.
I do this if it’s especially bad and I can’t just walk around them. But sometimes people will pretend not to hear you, and tapping them can sometimes result in more trouble than it’s worth.
You think we don’t? Then they shoot you dirty looks because how dare you interrupt their conversation.
I tackle slow walkers. I get them at the knees.
Works for me. Watch it granny, cause you’re going DOWN.
This is the real reason they make stun guns.
Slow walkers piss me off no end. Stay to the right, speed up or stay home!
People who loiter at the top of an escalator or in a doorway should be neutered. With a chainsaw.
Funny, from someone with “crab” in their name. Think of the imagery I’m getting.
Most of the time they’re pretty responsive to that. (I haven’t tried it in NYC.) But this one time, I got an “Oh yes sir!” in the nastiest tone possible. Damn teenager.
I am so fucking on board with this. Every god damn day I manage to get stuck behind some asswaffle mouthbreather walking six abreast with his troglodyte buddies, completely oblivious to their surroundings.
You know how once in a while there’s some news story about a guy who goes crazy with road rage? I feel like I’m one or two days away from committing Sidewalk RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGEE!!!111
And may I add:
People who walk out of a door and then just stop
People who ride an escalator, step off the end, and then just stop
People who walk in the middle of the sidewalk while gazing glassy-eyed at their smart phones. Smart phones make you stupid. (Except my smart phone, because it makes me smarter.)
Are you not fucking aware that you’re in a city whose population swells to 20 million every workday and there are approximately SIX METRIC ASSLOADS OF PEOPLE immediately behind your brain-dead ass?
I don’t mind slow people. Slow people who know they are slow are never a problem, because they keep to one side, are generally aware of their surroundings, and modify their behavior appropriately when in a large crowd. I don’t mind people who need to stop to fish something out of their pocket or look up a map on their phone, because non-imbeciles GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY when doing this.
It seems like a good solid 15% of people who exist are doing the sidewalk equivalent of slamming on the brakes in the middle of an interstate all the motherfucking time.
Ever had this person?:
They are ahead of you and to the right. You want to walk a little faster and so try to pass them on the left. But they keep veering to the left, and so force you to go even further left.
That always happens in one particular spot. We need a name for those people.
Sidewalk Liberals? Because they are always leaning left? 
And for the record I am with this rant the whole damn way.
Oblivious Interceptors?
There’s a “Stand Your Ground” joke in here somewhere.
Supermarkets with a gaggle of bitches (or their sons) filling the aisle and refusing to move. Say excuse me, they give you a dirty look, then ignore you and keep on with what they’re doing. I’ve shoved many a shopping cart out of the way, to the lovely sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Then there’s the famous rolling road block. Cars side by side loafing along, 10 miles under the speed limit, filling the whole fucking road.
The world is full of arrogant self-important shits. Not to mention the sidewalk liberals.
Naw, because when you finally decide to swoop around and pass them on the right, they veer right faster than Romney at a southern state primary.
So maybe, Wafflers?