Fucking punk-ass teenagers at the movies.

The BBQ Pit
1

Okay, I’ll preface this with the disclaimer - Not all teenagers are punk-ass, some know how to behave, blah, blah, blah. And I know this isn’t the first rant done on this, but I’m still pissed this morning.

However, none of those seemed to be in the showing of “Troy” last night that a friend and I went to. We’ve been eagerly awaiting this showing for weeks - her for Orlando Bloom, me for Brad Pitt and Eric Bana. We deliberately chose a later showing so we’d hopefully have no kids (We had parents bring their smaller children to a late night showing of ROTK a few weeks ago and were horrified - she has a three-year-old daughter and goes to the movies to get a BREAK from kids). However, we had an entire theatre full of annoying, nasty little punks.

We sat on the side near the back because neither of us can sit too closely to the screen. Just our luck - the entire back row was ONE group of teenagers. They came in and immediately started being assholes - yelling back and forth at one another, etc. We were like “Okay, no movie yet, so whatever…”. We were hoping they’d settle down once the film started.

No such luck. Every five minutes, one of them would start making pseudo Mystery Science Theater remarks with one main difference - they weren’t fucking funny! Random ‘shhs’ from the audience didn’t do much good.

This continued for most of the movie. In the middle of the movie, the two teenagers in front of us, who had been quiet for the majority of the movie, start rustling around. Then a BRIGHT BLUE FUCKING LIGHT shines right in my goddamn face! The girl’s pulled out her cell phone and is text messaging Brittany or Madison or whatever of her friends couldn’t come. If she’d kept the phone down and out of sight, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal. But this little teenybopper’s got it up in front of her face, basically blinding my friend and I. After ten minutes and everyone around her telling her to ‘put that fucking thing away!’, she finally turned it off.

We’re hitting the climax of the movie and we think maybe we’re home free. It’s settled down slightly. Then we heard “Hey, man…who’s this? Hey - yeah, I’m in the movies…”. Some little fucker had answered his phone and was carrying on a conversation, not even bothering to keep his voice down. My friend, not known for her subtlety, said “Oh, for God’s sake, get off the fucking phone!”. One of the little dipshit’s friends, apparently taking up fo his friend, retorted “Suck my fat dick”. Without missing a beat, she quickly answered “I don’t suck things I can’t see.” and turned her attention back to the movie. I don’t know if it had an effect on them, but the kid turned off his phone and watched the movie again.

By this point, I’m just ready to leave the movie. I’m beyond pissed off and I feel like I’ve just spent $8 to listen to a bunch of teenagers talk. The movie was excellent, but I managed to miss bits and pieces because I was disturbed by everyone talking or text-messaging. About 2 1/2 hours into the movie, the teens behind us start bitching about the length of the movie. You know, if you’re going to see a flick, you might want to research the LENGTH if you don’t want to be in one too long, for fuck’s sake! This is an EPIC - there’s a good chance that it’s going to be a LONG movie. Of course, I doubt these kids ever read Homer in high school - I’d be surprised if they managed to outgrow “Highlights” magazine by now.

At the climax, I’m actually RELIEVED it’s almost over just so I can get out of there. Right at the biggest moment in the end (no spoilers…), the two teens in front of us decide they want to leave. So they stand up right in FRONT of me and I missed the biggest moment in the end of the film. Lovely.

We left and lodged a complaint with the manager (he was standing in the front of the theatre as we left - we stayed to watch the credits to see who a couple of the actors were), but he just shrugged and said “We can’t really control them”. Nice. You can’t kick their little asses out of the theatre? I can control where my money goes, though.

I rarely go to the movies and this is why - we have a surround sound system at home, so I try to watch films at home instead of in theatres. I only went to this one because it seems to beg to see it on the big screen. We’re going to see it again in a few weeks, but on a Friday afternoon at a different theatre (thank God for summer hours at work…). I’m hoping there won’t be too many teenagers in that one.

And a hearty “Fuck You” to the theatre management who’s given up on controlling these little assholes. Grow some balls and learn to throw the mother-fuckers OUT of the theatre! Or eventually, your only customers will BE these little shits.

Ava

2

Why the do people pay $8 to see a movie, and then do shit like this? If you want to gossip or fuck around, do it at home. It’s cheaper, and it won’t make 200 strangers hate you.

3

Oh Jesus…how horrible.
That’s why it’s so much better to see movies at home. You at least have control of your environment.

My sister and I went to see the Matrix: Revolutions a few months ago and we next to loud teens too. But, they left 45 minutes into the movie. I assumed they got kicked out, but even if they weren’t, you can bet everyone was happy.

I usually go to matinees though. It’s cheaper and you’re less likely to run into rowdy teens.

4

Some of those rude teenagers did not pay to see the movie. When my housemate and I watched a lot of movies (there was a sweet student discount where I went to school) we were often annoyed by gaggles of teenagers dropped off and forgotten by their parents. They hoped from movie to movie. I wish I had started bringing a water gun to spray them with. They wouldn’t have complained because they hadn’t paid.

The most pleasant movie experience I had there was Spirited Away. If a parent’s cellphone rang it was quickly turned off. The only comments from the kids were the occasional out burst during really exciting parts. It was good to see that the kids were well behaved. I know that many of them will become annoying when they are teenagers just dropped off, but that too will pass.

5

I’ve just decided that I have really, really bad luck in any sort of theatre situation. I ranted a few months ago about people talking constantly during the Broadway production of “Fiddler on the Roof”. Yet the afternoon matinee of “Gypsy” was wonderful - everyone was intensely concentrating on the performance, and I always expect matinees to be a bit more rowdy than a Saturday evening performance (with Broadway, at least - not with movies…). Mr avabeth and I saw ‘50 First Dates’ a few weeks ago and it was also a great night - people were polite and intent on the movie.

I think I just have bad luck with ‘epics’. I never seem to notice rude people in romantic comedies or dramas - just in these epic films.

Ava

6

It might be worth writing a letter to the theater chain’s regional or national offices–the managers “we can’t control them” comment seems pathetically stupid. It’s his job to manage the theater, which, among other things, means controlling what goes on inside. At the very least, he could have given you free passes or something…

7

Hear, hear! I salute you because I know exactly what you’re saying. I rarely get out to the movies due to having babysitter difficulties but every time I do, this happens to me. These teens you’re pitting don’t give a shit, they think they own the world, and enjoy being rude assholes. I do understand to a point, I was once a teen but I NEVER went so far with the attitude.

There was one time when my ex-husband went red-berserker-rage crazy on some stoned teens when they wouldn’t stop talking through a rerelease of Empire Strikes Back. Right behind us, they sat, giggling like idiots through most of the movie. They got louder every time they saw Yoda (were laughing at Yoda’s voice and ears), and no amount of being nice and asking them to be quiet helped. At the breaking point, my ex’s eyes flashed fire as he stood and turned to glare at them and yelled at the top of his lungs, “FUCKIN’ SHUT UP!”.

Now, if he had just yelled, the whole event wouldn’t have been so traumatic for me. But no… genius had to throw (with superhuman force) the entire contents of his large cup of soda at them. Well, he hit them… and the five rows of innocent folks behind them. I’m not sure of the exact radius of the soda wave but it wasn’t a good thing. No, not at all. Instantly, many large men, dripping with soda, shot up from their seats and cussed my ex out. Loudly. And with a plethora of violent threats and invitations to go outside. Oh, boy… a lynching! My ex stalked out, leaving me and his brother to feel the stares of angry eyes through the rest of the film. What fun. Movies ends… we sit. Credits roll… we sit. Under the weight of all those angry folks’ eyes, we sit and wonder at our fate. My ex kept paging me but I ignored the fool. I couldn’t take the pressure anymore so I headed out with my brother-in-law meekly in tow. I felt like I was about to be hanged, the silence was so… grim.

Moral of the tale: don’t throw soda even if the teens are complete assholes. You will hit bigger, meaner fish.

8

Pretty good chance they were there because it counts as “Extra Credit” for one of their classes at school. I had several teachers do that through highschool, though sometimes it would be something happening at a local theater or museum. Just bring in the ticket stub and you get a free X points on the semester total.

I’ll usually just turn around and stare at them until they quiet down. YMMV depending on how much your appearance frightens people.

9

I’m 5’1, small-boned (even if I’m not so small-fleshed;), and I usually look like I’m smiling even if I’m pissed off. I doubt I would have had much effect :D.

Metacom, that’s a good idea. I found an address for the corporate offices and I’ll fire off a letter to them. I don’t really want free passes or anything (hell, after last night, it’ll be a long time before I return to that theatre), I’d just like the management to grow a pair and deal with the rude behavior in the theatres.

Ava

10

Serious-fucking-ly. That’s like my new least favorite thing at the movies right now. I generally haven’t had a problem with people outright talking on their cell phones (which I think should be confiscated before allowing people into the theater), but for some reason people see absolutely no problem with shining their goddamn cell phone aura all over the fucking theater just to tex message someone or see if they got any calls or something. Right in the middle of the fucking movie! What the fuck? Do they think people can’t see the overwhelming radiance of their stupidity and obnoxiousness?

And it’s almost always high school or fellow college students, who can’t go ten minutes without checking their phones les, I dunno, the planet start melting or something.

11

Ava, the really sad thing is, the most suprising thing in your OP and subsequent posts to me has been how late movies come out in your neck of the woods.

You saw 50 First Dates a few weeks ago? That ones been out of theatres here for months!

I’m so used to the little shits, I can almost tune out their obnoxiousness. Almost. Instead of sitting there silently fuming, or telling them to shut the hell up (you can usually tell the type this’ll work on and the type it’ll just make worse) I usually move. Far away. Making it really obvious. Of course, that’s assuming there’s some place to move to.

If not, I bust out my trusty stun gun. :cool:

12

Actually, according to mr. avabeth, we saw it in February. I haven’t been able to keep track of time very well lately - LOL! I really thought we only saw it a few weeks ago. Go figure. :smack:

Unfortunately, the film was PACKED last night. The only seats left were in the very front and that isn’t an option for either of us - my eyes and her neck.

A stun gun is an option - perhaps I can find one that will disappear as soon as it goes off so I can’t get caught:D.

Ava

13

First off, that SUCKS! Secondly, I’m surprised that the theatre didn’t refund your money and/or give you free tickets to another movie of your choosing. I’ve had similar experiences to yours, and generallly if you go get the management when they first start causing probs, they’ll either make them shut up, or if they can’t, at least you don’t have to pay for it.

Yeah, it sucks to have to miss part of the movie to go get someone, but if you’re being subjected to that kindof crap, you’re missing it anyway.

Another thought, if this was a chain then you may want to go to their website and lodge a complaint with headquarters. Franchisees are supposed to follow a certain set of rules. And I’d wager that preventing that sort of teenaged brat hell is among those rules.

Good luck!!! Sorry your night sucked,Was the movie good? My mom and I want to go see it.

14

Oh, and lezlers, ROTK was actually at a dollar theatre - I hadn’t seen it yet, so I went with a friend and a Canadian friend who was visiting (they’d both seen it about fifteen times). So movies do come out on time here, I just get to them late:).

It’s definitely different from when I lived in NYC, though - we don’t typically get the more artsy flicks here, and I miss being able to see all of the indie flicks I like in the theatres.

Ava

15

I did fire off an email, and I’ve got a hard copy to follow (I worked around lawyers, it’s stuck with me to do both:D). We’ll see the response I get.

The movie was great! I mean, no, it’s not going to win any awards for writing (the dialogue was a bit stilted, but I also attribute part of that to Brad Pitt’s delivery…he was trying too hard…), but the cinematography, the costumes, the fight scenes - they were all excellent. I’m not big on violent movies, but I love historical films, and this definitely ranked up with my faves. We plan to see it again in a few weeks (at a matinee, though, on a Friday afternoon…).

It’s worth the money:).

Ava

16

Don’t bother writing to corporate headquarters if it was a Wallace Corp. theater. My mother and I went to s showing of Luther and the sound and picture were screwed up for the first five minutes. Then the film shut down. When it resumed all was well, but we had missed a little more. We asked the manager to rewind and they said they couldn’t. They also offered no apology or explanation. We got our money back and left. A week later we returned and saw the show, sorry to have no other option than to patronize the same theater(It’s the only one in town)

We wrote to the management and to the corporate headquarter in Oregon and never got a reply from either of them.

I thought of Lily Tomlin, and paraphrased in my mind.We don’t have to care, we’re Wallace Corp!"

17

Well, one reason the management couldn’t do anything about it was cause…well…the movie was over. Here’s a thought; next time this happens and the little bastards don’t respond to polite requests to STFU, get up, find the manager, explain the situation, and demand that they either do something immediately, or refund your admission.
If the kids have been theater-hopping, a simple request (by the manager) to show their movie stubs will nail them- problem solved.

18

We didn’t go get the manager, but several women sitting near us had gotten up and left to come back, the manager following them in. I’d apparently incorrectly assumed that they had told the manager about it. When he came in and looked at the teenagers, saw them acting up, then left, we figured he wasn’t going to do shit anyway. Mentioning it to him at the end was simply because we were annoyed and he was there.

Ava

19

Not to excuse their behavior, but no, they don’t realize it.

I stopped going to movies because of reasons like this, and when I do, I avoid opening night/weekend/month whenever possible. Why free passes doesn’t really help: 1) it [noisy fuckers] will probably just happen again 2) I spent a lot of freakin’ time to get to the movie and coming back will take the hell of a lot more time.

When I worked at a theater, people who came to complain at the end of the movie didn’t get shit, they’re often like people who complain about restaurants via letter and expect to get coupons/gift certificates. Fuckers. It is a pain in the ass to get up in the middle of the movie, but then your chances of 1) something being done or 2) finding a solution that will make you happy (free passes) is more likely.

That said, that manager is a sackless wonder. Definitely choose another theater to spend your money at. Dunno about where you’re at, but there are dozens of theaters around here and finding a nice, cheap quiet one was well worth all the hassle of going to all of them.

20

Most of the theaters are owned by the same company around here :rolleyes:. We’ll probably drive fifteen-twenty minutes to get to another one. I have a feeling we’ll limit most of our movies to either matinees or home viewing. Luckily, with my summer office hours, we can hit early matinees on Fridays (mr. avabeth is typically on-call on weekends, so he’s usually given Friday off or as a half-day.).

And I won’t assume that others have complained before - I’ll just go do it myself from now on. I did think the woman sitting near us had complained to the manager, which is why I didn’t get up. And I still think she might have, since the manager came in and saw the offenders and totally ignored it. So if she did, it still didn’t do a damn bit of good.

Ava