So I just had to carry a screaming two year old half a mile with groceries for dinner. She weighs more than 30 lbs, she wanted me to carry her, but wouldn’t grip with her legs for much of it.
AND!!! My wife is pregnant again! So I have to deal with two of them in 9 months!
How could something like this happen?
AAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!
*Those of you who know me IRL please don’t spill the beans where my family will see it, IE, Facebook, we are going to tell them when we see them in June.
The boy bee shakes his pollen on the girl bee.
In addition to AuntiePam’s excellent suggestion, it might have started when you said “we can’t afford a stroller”.
The usual way, I would imagine.
Congratulations!
It’s them no-good storks, running 'round dropping babies on innocent folk.
Heh, heh! Congratulations!
I’m an expectant father too, a couple months ahead of you.
Heh. 20+ years from now, you’ll look back on all this fondly.
From the old folks home she put you in 
I didn’t plan to stop at one. But essentially I have. For precisely this reason. My girlfriend has two children under the age of 3. To her credit, she was medicated prior.
I’m trying to teach my daughter to put on shoes before she goes outside. My husband takes her out (without shoes) to where I am, then wanders off. What do I have to do? Carry a 35lb kid UP a mountain. No, she didn’t grip with her legs either. The last portion of the ride, I was carrying a box turtle, a toddler, some gardening tools and a cup full of worms.
Another one? No thanks. Although I did enjoy the bit of revenge I got on her later. Tickling her silly.
I certainly hope I am not in an old folks home when I am 51!
Auntbeast Yeah, that sort of thing happens. I didn’t plan on stopping at one, and apparently we didn’t. It’s pretty nutty to think of having TWO kids. I just don’t know wtf to think about it. I’m a little worried financially to be honest. I tried to start a business and made a poor choice that basically fucked everything up, so now I am a bit in debt and need to get a job working for someone else.
But ah well, there’s no motivator like necessity. 
Eat the child. That way you will not have to carry it, and will save on carrying a few loads of groceries.
mswas, maybe you’ll get lucky and have twin girls the second time around. I did. Imagine doing what you do with twins.
Congratulations. Sending a wish for a healthy and easy pregnancy.
Khadaji, you forgot “small handed obstetrician” and “small but healthy child” and “Buckets and buckets of drugs” and “warm socks.”
Hey mswas, these are things your wife will wish for. You got your own problems.
The best of luck to the three of you.
mswas - My mother had 4 under the age of three. If she can do it, you can too. (Altogether there were 5 of us in 6 years, plus a 2nd set of twins that died. She only stopped when uterine cancer forced her too.)
Congratulations!!!
StG
This makes me think of an adorable conversation I overhead the other day. There was a dad in the same boat as you grocery shopping with a little one (or two) and I overheard this man expressing sympathy by saying, “My wife and I had three kids in 18 months so I can relate.” The dad asked how old they were. 46, 46 and 44.
See? Living proof that this will pass.
Oh, sometimes it involves booze, sometimes it involves a romantic comedy, sometimes it involves a power outage. If you watch a romantic comedy while drinking, and then the power goes out, well, then, you are pretty much guaranteed to have a little bundle of joy in nine months or so.
Glad I could clear things up for you.
Holy shit, dude, congratulations! My wife tells me she is making dinner plans with you guys, so hopefully we will see you all soon.
Ha ha, mswas is fertile.
I wouldn’t mind having another kid, but the thought of another three years of no sleep changes my mind in about three seconds.