So we move to a nice place in the country 3 weeks ago. 30 acres. Fields. FUCK FUCK FUCK!! Beautiful pond and fields. Creeks. My family loves it. So does my dog.
Instead of walking her, I can let her out to run wild for extended periods. Plenty of space for the curious little bitch to roam.
So it is cold tonight. In the 20s. I let “Annie” out to go potty for a few minutes before we turn in for bed. I go out to get her in and she doesn’t come. Then I FUCK FUCK FUCKTY FRIGGIN FUCK hear her coming. She blasts past me into the house. Then I smell something that vaguely reminds me of a skunk.
Only much worse.
You know when you are in the car and you get a whiff and you go “whew, I smell a skunk”? The aroma of fresh, direct skunkage is like someone took that comparatively pleasant smell, let it fester in the Texas sun in the carcass of a 4 day dead armadillo, allowed the resultant paste to ferment in the fatty folds between Michael Moore’s thigh and belly, mixed it with equal part smegma of Ron Jeremy, let it semisolidify into the shape of Satan’s penis, then allow yourself to be nostril raped with said instrument. Add cat shit to increase the pleasantness.
Then the dog ran up the stairs into my bedroom and downstairs to the living room where she cowered under the coffee table, distributing the foul vomit induction formula liberally about my abode.
I know everybody says tomato juice, but we’ve always rubbed the dog down with unflavored stewed/canned tomatoes. It works a lot better, in my experience. You’ll have to give her a couple good shampoos afterwards and a pretty thorough comb-out, but that’s required anyway.
Worse than Tazmanian devils on a hot day. (I’ve smelled them.) Worse than a pig farm too, and as lingering on clothes and skin I would hazard to guess. (I’ve been told that those who work on pig farms can never really get rid of the odor of pig shit off their person, I’d imagine that daily exposure to skunk spray would be the same at the least.) It’s a putrid musky STENCH that is pervasive and very hard to elimnate. I want to say it’s an acrid bitter sweet type of smell from a distance, but that doesn’t begin to describe it. It induces vomiting and eye burning for sure.
Ah, I found a link that has the full recipie, maybe you could try that on some things at least, newscrasher? (I don’t know about fabrics, the perioxide might bleach or damge them.)
It’s the acid in the tomato juice that neutralizes the stentch. A pet store here sells stuff in a spray bottle called “Skunk Off” It’s just white vinegar and water.
My former neighbour mixes his own batch now because his dog is forever chasing skunks (and he’s too stupid to keep his dog on-leash in a skunk-filled neighbouhood.
Try vinegar and water before tomato juice. It’s a LOT less messy than trying to get tomato juice out of dog hair.
The closest I can come up with is burning rubber, but even then they’re not much alike.
As far as the pig farm remarks, I went to a pig barn fire 2 weeks ago. The barn was mostly empty (the livestock went to market the day before) but we found a couple of incinerated carcasses. I’m sure they were dead before the fire ever started. Anyway, the roasted pigs were pretty bad, but hands down the worst thing I’ve smelled in my life is burning pig manure. Gawd, I wished I was wearing my airpack…
You know, we can describe the smell to you, but it’s really not the quality of the smell that’s remarkable. It’s the intensity. You wouldn’t think it’d be possible for a smell to be so strong it makes you feel like you’re being punched in the face, but it is…
Fresh skunk spray is so strong you really do have a hard time not puking. I had strips of skunk carcass hung up on my trucks back supports, after I rolled a day dead one driving over it. I was watching the house for my brother while they vacationed. I washed the strips off on his gravel parking area, and drove home. The smell went away before they got home and the dog had a leather chew toy.
Will groomers do this nasty job for you? God…what an evil odor. My dad has been FEEDING a “cute” skunk that’s been hanging out in his yard. I’m done talking to him. When it happens, all he’s gonna get is an “I told you so” from me.
Do skunks spray more when they’re in season? I’m thinking he’ll need to avoid it at all costs if they’re in heat.
Skunks are pretty smart, they don’t usually spray for no reason. My former landlord used to sit on his stoop to smoke at the same time every night, and every night a younger skunk would toddle by, stop and come up to sniff his shoes, look at him, and then keep toddling. My landlord would sometimes cough or, just to be an ass, would go “PSSSST!” loudly and startle the little guy. He was never sprayed. The skunk never thought of him as a threat.
Now if your dad has a dog that comes barreling up while he’s feeding his skunk buddy, well then all bets are off.
Once that dog gets into your house, it’s like EVERYTHING in your house for a good long while will smell like skunk.
Our dogs never got hit, but growing up, I had a friend’s dog that did.
His books that he’d carry to school would smell. Every article of clothing, his hair, his skin, the entire house. It’s unbelievable (and indescribable) how strong and pervasive it is.
The smell went away before they got home and the dog had a leather chew toy. 