Full Fathom Five

Cafe Society
1

Full Fathom Five (1990) was on TMC. I’d heard the title, and I eventually decided to record it on the DVR.

What dreck!

Michael Moriarty is a submarine captain who is slightly injured while rescuing a pretty Panamanian rebel. He’s sent stateside to recuperate (from a banged knee!) while his sub sits on the bottom to… Well, to be there for the third act. See, Bad Guys from a Cuban prison have stolen a Soviet missile sub and are planning to launch against Houston.

The acting was terrible! The lighting was something I’d expect to see on a student film. The special efffects reeked. Stock footage would have been better than the models they used. I suppose I can forgive them for using foreign subs, considering the budget; but the models appeared white underwater. The close-ups of torpedoes being fired looked like something Jules Verne would have designed. Yeah, massive rivets. I could have sworn I saw a rod supporting one of the torpedoes. The bombs the rebels were using looked like small Molotov coctails. One ship was so obviously a model, when it blew up, as to be laughable.

Then there was the costuming and set decoration. MM was a ‘captain’. Only he wore lieutenant’s bars. Well, not exactly. He wore three gold bars. What is that? Lieutenant S.G. (‘Super Grade’, as opposed to Junior Grade)? Lieutenant Commander J.G.? His cover looked like a captain’s hat, only it had an enlisted eagle on it. One character looked to be an enlisted type, only he was wearing Lt. Cdr. leaves.

I’ve never been on a submarine, but I visited a couple of aircraft carriers when I was a kid, and dad served on a CLG. I remember wood panelling. The submarine had wood panelling – only it looked like the stuff you’d buy at the hardware store and tack up in your den. Not the nice panelling I remember from the ships; mobile-home quality. Even never having been on a submarine, I’ve seen enough images from inside of them. In the film, think ‘WWII meets Electronics Rummage Sale’.

The dialog was laughable, and the script hit all of the clichéd bases.

To build drama a DSRV was caught in a seaquake. Where were the rocks falling from? They were in open water. So they took cover under a rock shelf on the bottom. Just the place I’d like to be in a seaquake! And they got caught. Of course they did!

Now this film came out in 1990. It’s clearly an attempt to cash in on the success of The Hunt For Red October. Only without getting anything right.

You can see Full Fathom Five free* on cable. Trust me: It’s not worth the price.

*‘Free’ meaning if you’re already getting cable, of course.

2

Oh, and ‘Full Fathom Five’? I appreciate the alliteration, but what they’re saying is ‘The Whole 30 Feet’. :rolleyes:

3

It’s a reference to a poem:

“Full fathom five my father lies
Those are pearls that were his eyes …”

4

Of course. Shakespeare. I knew I’d heard it somewhere before, and the recognition of the phrase is what prompted me to watcfh the film. Only I couldn’t remember where I’d heard it.

Still, it’s a silly title for a submarine film.

5

Huh - there’s actually a movie called ‘full fathom five’?

I remember getting the idea of having a sci-fi understation named that, as a kinduv corny takeoff on deep space nine. :slight_smile:

6

Sorry, I meant to say, an undersea station.

7

It’s actually from The Tempest. Ariel is talking to Ferdinand after the shipwreck to try to convince him he’s the only survivor:

One of my favorite plays.

Was this made after Michael Moriarty got fired from Law & Order? As I recall, his life kind of spiralled downhill after that and he seemed to go a bit nuts.