From this link:
NBC5 News Link
Doctor Accused Of Sewing Woman’s Anus Shut
Why am I reminded of that little girl in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory who inflated into a blue ball and had to be rolled away by the Oompa Loompas? Regardless, on behalf of all of us who still have our assholes, I’d like to pit Dr. William Stefanich.
“Y’know, captain, y’all got a Little ass left.” - Axel Foley
I heard a joke like this a long time ago.
A woman wanted to know what it was like to be pregnant. So she went to the doctor and asked him to perform a procedure on her so she would know what it was like.
She woke up several hours later and said, “Doc, I don’t feel any different. What gives?”
He said, “Give it a day or two, lady. I just sewed your ass shut.”
That being said, if this woman is for real, I hope she does get her ass sewn shut for real.
Veruca Salt.
Ah crap. I meant Violet Beauregard.
You laid an egg on that one.
Uh!
Uh, that’s pretty hard to refute. What’s he going to say, “It wasn’t me! This patient went and had that done by someone else, this is a frame-up?”
That being said, the site needs to edit better; they changed the patient’s gender during the course of the quoted sentence. I thought the doctor “only” removed part of the anal canal, nothing more drastic… :eek:
*I’ve got a doctor and he’s a real pal
took 15 inches from my anal canal
He’s got a practice and boy is it mal
Put a plug at the end of my anal canal.
It’s hauled some loads in my day
Filled with dinner, drinks, and soup of the day
And you know every inch of the way
I’d really preferred that he not spay.*
At least I didn’t kick the bucket.
…and it had to happen in Licking County…
I bet the doctor felt like an ass.
I got a million of 'em…
Ferret Herder, I have to admit that I’m not really on the Dr’s side. The OP title is that the patient is full of shit…but that’s only because the Dr blocked up his/her anus. (Do you have any idea what good plumbers charge these days? I’d have to assume that getting Mario or Luigi to stand on the patient’s buttocks working away with a plunger would be quite cost-prohibitive. Damn that Dr!)
So many jokes, so little time…
That’s why I got my HMO’s Gold plan.
New York cops are cheaper.
How much for a plumber’s helper with that plumber’s helper?
[crickets chirping]
Licking County.
That’s just… delicious
Ding,ding,ding! We have a winner! Stofsky, with 5 zings in one post!!! (Very Good!)
Meanwhile in the ER:
Dr. Green: “Damn that was a long shift. If I have to do even one more patient, I’m gonna rip somebody a new asshole.”
Dr Weaver: “Dr. Green, I have one more patient for you in exam room 2…”
I’ve driven through Licking County on my way to school (which was in Athens County)… It’s right next to Hocking County.
How ya like me now?
Man, so does that women have to carry a bag around with her attacked to get butt for the rest of her life to catch her shit in? that’s ruff!
Let’s wait for the actual evidence, people. I did peer review for an organization with over 100 physicians, where we investigated complaints like this. Over 90% of them were wildly exaggerated and based on the patient’s assumptions on what was said and/or done, not on what really happened.
So I recommend we withhold judgement until some actual factual facts are in. There’s a lot of unsubstantiated complaining going on out there.
Of course, every once in a while, I’d be amazed at what a doc actually did do.
**
Umm, I think I’d know if somebody sewed my ass shut.
Don’t you think this woman is experiencing enough withholding?
And I’ll bet you wish there was some way to make the people doing it shut their holes, don’t you Doctor? I’ll bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you? Hmmm?
Now that was a visual! Thanks!