Fun things to do on a Sunday - a story involving dog vomit

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So my dog was a wee bit sick tonight… and of course, by “was a wee bit sick” I mean “horked up the largest amount of stomach content I have ever seen emerging from either end of any land mammal, including an Indian elephant”.

Being the responsible dog-owner that I am (also because we have wood floors), I decided to mop it up as soon as possible, while my four little brothers cavorted around me and cheerily exclaimed things like “Oh my GOD would you look at that!” and “Mom! Bea barfed her intestines out!” This, of course, made the clean-up a whole lot easier and more pleasant. After about three round trips to the toilet bowl, the floor was clean, but the rag which I had used to clean up the mess was… not clean. No way I could put it straight into the washing machine, since the cycle had just started. Also no way I could put it into the dirty clothes hamper as is. “I’ll rinse it,” I decided.

[sub](This is the part where my brain evidently decided to call it a day.)[/sub]

A clearly-thinking individual would assume that large chunks of goo would not go well with the small holes in the average bathroom sink. Of course, being the slightly-less-clearly-thinking individual that I am, I flung the dirty cloth into the sink and got the water running. After about five minutes, the drain was very clearly plugged with larger bits of dog food etc. Brownish-yellow water and with a sort of stomach-acidy film on top filled about half the sink.

So, I spent half an hour wielding the Mighty Plunger and stlosh-slurrrrping my way out of this predicament. Of course, since the sink is higher than the average plunging position, I had to haul in a chair from my room and stand on it. Also, after about five minutes, I realized that there are two holes leading down into the pipes (the drain and another hole at the top, which is meant to keep the sink from overflowing), which meant that the plunger was achieving zero suction power whatsoever.

Therefore, the 30 minutes was spent in a semi-crouched position atop an office chair (with wheels, the only chair available in my room… I had to keep wheeling myself back to the sink because the momentum of the plunging was propelling me around the bathroom), madly plunging away with one hand while stuffing a plastic bag into the second hole with the other hand so as to form at least some suction.

At one point, I caught view of myself in the bathroom mirror and had to stop for about five minutes because I was laughing so hard.

Also, about halfway through, the plunger decided to pop up spontaneously, dousing me with dog-vomit-stained water and catching me right above the eye with the wooden handle.

So, how did you spend your Sunday evening?

2

Ahhh. I am a veteran of dog barfs, the worst being a 4’ long streak of the stuff. Bandit had just eaten, and I could hear the telltale warning heaves. He was on the carpet, of course, so I tried to get him to either the kitchen or the outside door. No go, as he was moving towards either of these places, he started puking. A 4’ long pile of stuff, I didn’t even think he had eaten that much!

What I do is grab a plastic bag (in this case, a large bag), turn it inside out and use it as a giant glove. Then I can pick up as much as possible and then work on cleaning up the spot. Sometimes (if you can stand it) it works to let it dry for awhile, then vaccuum it up. The fresh, wet stuff is harder to get from the carpet.

I didn’t have one at the time, but a carpet shampooer is a great thing to have, it works well for picking it up wet. Just get the major chunks up first. And rags go right in the trash - don’t try and save it. I don’t like that stuff in my washing machine.

3

The visual was A+
I think we’ll be skipping dinner tonight :eek:

4

A 9 outta 10 on the visuals… A greater description of the vomit particles would have given you a solid 10.

And I am skipping dinner, thank you.

5

Well, if that grosses you out, you probably don’t want to hear about the afternoon I once spent washing maggot-infested shit out of a dog’s fur.