Warning, gross dog stuff . . .
Our lab likes to snack on the other dogs’ poop. Yesterday she barfed on the carpet after breakfast and a shit snack (we have miles of hardwood floors but invariably the grossest stuff happens on the one carpet!)
I gagged while trying to sop up the smelly poop-kibble puddles and barfed on the poo puddle. So I got to clean up my hashbrown barf as well.
I had a similar incident with a puppy that had been feasting on poop-sicles and had really bad diarrhea in his crate. He actually attempted to spray the poop outside his crate, onto the floor and wall of the dining room (where the crate was). Digested poop was a smell unlike most others, and I had all windows open, in February in Winnipeg, Manitoba.
Most recently, my new puppy had stress diarrhea in a hotel room during our move. I scrubbed all marks from the carpet - still not as bad as the one in the dining room that day.
Unbeknown to us, one of our dogs found a deer gut pile during hunting season a few years back. She gorged on the guts, then came home and promptly vomited multiple times. Ewww
My horrid crew threw up half-digested field mice in the back of my, er, their Jeep a while back.
Teddy shit in his box overnight a couple days ago.
Dogs.
Humans can make an almighty mess too.
Once, my mom had a hellacious flu that caused her to projectile vomit and gunblast liquid shit all over the bathroom at the same instant.
Only a little puke hit the toilet bowl. The rest was splattered all over the floor and up the walls.
I cleaned her up, and got her back in bed. The only thing that kept me from barfing while cleaning the bathroom was the knowledge that I’d have to clean that up too.
I used our oldest towels, then just threw it all away afterwards, including the nightdress and underwear my mom had been wearing. No way would I soil the apartment building’s washing machine with those total losses.
Ugggh, my dogs rolled in a rotten deer carcass in Ohio. That is a memorable smell!
I drove a new puppy home in my new Nissan and she puked down the gearshift boot. I couldn’t get all of it out, it eventually rotted off and I could breathe inside the car again.
Poor pup! I often “don’t see” or “am asleep” when horrible dog messes occur. Wife is retired paramedic and has a much stronger stomach for interior fluids that become exterior fluids.
I’m an awful person 
The Crew almost found a dead horse carcass out on the trail the other day. I intercepted them before they got to it.
That would have been an Epic Roll-around!
Canine remake of “The Revenant”!
This unfortunate Southwest Airlines incident was probably fun for the baggage-handling crew to clean up (not to mention the affected passengers). :eek:
Ummm…not trying to one up…
When I was a young person, I was employed as a janitor at a mental hospital. My area was the recreation floor for the criminally insane. Most everyone was well behaved, being drugged up sufficiently. But one day one patient had an episode and decided he didn’t want his eyes any more. So, I got to clean up after that.
Ugh! I feel your pain, Jennshark.
When I was about 3 months pregnant and already in the throes of afternoon sickness (like morning sickness, but in the afternoon), I came home from work one afternoon to find our 6 month old puppy had gotten into something that gave him diarrhea. He had pooped all over the family room (thankfully laminate flooring), but also all over the brick hearth of the fireplace. So I’m scrubbing up the worse smelling puppy poop off of brick, and puking into a garbage can that I knew I would need.
Scrubbing and puking, scrubbing and puking.
Dad drove Mom, me, and the family dog over to visit one of my sisters and her husband for the holidays. Sis & BiL aren’t really dog people so were not aware that letting dogs eat fat is not a good idea, until the dog hacked up a few piles of partially digested fat.
Prison drug watch. You suspect a prisoner has either swallowed some contraband or hidden it up inside his butt. So you put him in a special cell with a bedpan and no water and you watch him twenty-four hours a day until he takes a crap. And then you have to search the crap.
If you were to ask me what the highlight was of my three decades working in prisons, I would say it was that I never got assigned to a drug watch.
When I was in the Army, stationed in South Korea(Hello Camp Humphries!) I had a roommate for a while who was awaiting the arrival of her husband on post. Lucky them, to be stationed in the same place. She was twenty two I think, and one evening, when she went out with a group of friends, made the mistake of saying she’d never drunk hard liquor, or beer either. So folks insisted that she try this, or that, or this one here.
Now we didn’t drive, and had been at a bar a short ways off post. So she had to have walked back to the barracks. I came back after her, flicked on the light in our room, and there she was. Good thing she had the bottom bunk, because she was hanging half out of it. She’d puked all over the bed and the floor and herself. She wasn’t really conscious, but when I tried to wake her kept saying “He’s gonna kill me!” I think she was afraid her husband would be upset with the episode. I rousted out four other gals and they got her down to the showers to clean her up. I stripped the bed and bundled up the messy bedding, and found a nightgown for her. Then I mopped the floor.
We never mentioned this incident afterwards, and to my knowledge she never took another drink while she was there.
Holy crap! :eek:
My friends’ dear departed Barry was famous for this. For a small dog, he could ingest quite a bit!
Yet another thread that makes me happy to not have any pets. 
I’m a vet tech. Lots of stories. The only one that made me have to run outside for fresh air was the poor little terrier we had to force to vomit because he had eaten 3 condoms and 2 tampons out of the trash. I’ve smelled so many bad smells over the last 15 years, nothing chalks up to what that business smelled like when it came up.
I apparently lead a sheltered life. Not owning animals has certainly helped.
I do recall an episode in college where I made myself a lunch of a fried egg sandwich with mayo. On old bread using old old eggs and very very old mayo.
About 20 minutes later it was obvious this had been a mistake. None of my roommates were home and I had the foresight to get mostly naked and head for the bathroom before I was incapacitated with cramping.
I ended up laying naked in the tub in a sorta fetal position spraying noxious stuff from both ends for about 20 minutes. Then just laid there naked in the mess for another 20 minutes or so until the cramps subsided enough that I could sit up. That was pretty unpleasant.
Paradoxically, clean-up was easy. Once I could finally stand I turned on the shower & hosed me and the tub off thoroughly. Almost everything went right down the tub drain. I only had a couple of larger chunks to hand-carry to the adjacent toilet. Nasty stuff had been sprayed all over the bottom part of the tub surround walls, but the shower spray got to all of it.
Every door and window in the apartment was left open for the rest of the day but nonetheless each roommate in turn came home and let out a howl about the horrific smell as soon as they walked in. Me? I was dead asleep for the rest of the afternoon.
It was a couple decades later before I made another egg sandwich. And in the meantime I never kept eggs or mayo longer than about 1 week and 1 month respectively. Some of life’s little lessons are more … memorable … than others. Smellier than others too. 